Just another desperate housewife

Fall is here.....

2010-09-07T09:06:00.002-04:00

Although summer has not officially ended, Fall is here-or at least the signs of it. School buses are on the road, the weather is getting a bit cooler, PTA meetings to go to, Halloween costumes (and candy) are out in the stores and in some cases-Christmas stuff is already out in retail stores. It's crazy.

The days of summer always seem to go by so fast. The weeks fly by. I love summer, but do look forward to cooler weather, school starting up again and the all fun that fall brings. I love September. It's my birth month and a popular wedding anniversary month that includes my wedding anniversary, my parents and both sets of grandparents. If I had my choice, I would have had a September baby, but it didn't work out that way. I love getting ready for Halloween, seeing the leaves change and apple picking.

Once Thanksgiving comes and goes, I am just looking forward to Spring. I don't like the winter-the snow and cold just don't appeal to me. Even the holidays can't convince me to love Winter! Not a fan of snow, ice, skiing, ice skating, etc. I'm a beach lover!

I guess I better enjoy the last few summer-like days I can squeeze out of September! Wonder if I can still get a bit of a tan! LOL!

Happy 4th of July-it's been a while...

2010-07-04T10:24:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the very long hiatus! I've been busy with the kids and with my adoption advertising business-which is growing steadily. I promise to post more frequently!!!
More adoption related topics!

In the meantime, have a wonderful, safe 4th of July!!!

Do they know?

2009-08-11T17:31:00.002-04:00

We just returned from vacation. One week at the Jersey Shore, just as we do every year. My girls are getting a bit older and were well behaved. I couldn't help but feel other people's eyes on us though. I wonder what they were thinking? Do they realize our youngest daughter looks nothing like us? Do they suspect she was adopted? Am I over-analyzing it? Probably!

My in laws were with us. Truthfully, we get less stares when my mother in law is with us. Our youngest somewhat resembles her and I think people assume our daughter looks like grandma.

I think about it too much. I really should learn to care less what others think or their reactions. There are lots of families who have biological children who happen to not look like the parents. I guess in time, I will be less in tune to others reactions and comments. I guess because she's so darn cute, she gets lots of attention, smiles and stares! I take that as a compliment!

16 and Pregnant on MTV

2009-07-25T16:11:00.002-04:00

I never really cared for the MTV show "16 and Pregnant" until the last episode. I didn't want to see 16 year old girls who just happened to get pregnant. Well in the last episode, teen couple Catelynn and Tyler make an adoption plan for their baby girl.
They were so emotional, yet so brave and determined to go through with the adoption plan for the sake of the baby. They should be applauded for their maturity and courage.

They met the adoptive parents, Brandon and Theresa and everyone seemed to click. They agreed on a semi open adoption. While watching the show, I found myself so sympathetic to the birth parents, and not as excited for the adoptive parents as I thought I would be. I found myself crying throughout the show. I encourage anyone thinking of placing a baby for adoption, or adopting a baby to see this episode. Just the other night, they aired a follow up show and reunited the adoptive parents and birth parents with five week old Carly. It was amazing.

As an adoptive mother, I "get it". All adoptive mothers get it. We appreciate the sacrifice birthparents make when placing a baby for adoption. We are eternally grateful for the gift of our children and know the decision was not an easy one. Many a birth parent has anguished over their options. I have the highest respect for birth parents, I always have and always will. The gift of love and joy that they bestow upon others by presenting them with a baby is a feeling unmatched.

I hope young people watch this show and learn valuable lessons from it...1)Getting pregnant as a teen means sacrifices-if you aren't ready-don't put yourself in jeopardy of getting pregnant. 2)Adoption is an option. It's difficult, but a way for you to resume your life as you know it and let the child have a better life than you can provide. An adoptive family will be eternally grateful for the gift of life you give them. 3) Teen pregnancy should not be glorified as it is in our society. It's life altering and makes you grow up very quickly. Maybe if it weren't so accepted, young couples would think harder before taking risks.

16 and pregnant on MTV

The stares............

2009-06-04T13:49:00.003-04:00

Yes, that's what we get lately-the stares. Why is this blonde haired, blued eyed toddler calling that black haired olive skinned woman Mommy? Because I am her Mom.
People look at her, look at me, look at her, then look at me again. They look puzzled. Some say stupid comments like "Where did she get the blonde hair?" or "Who does she look like?" Does every mother and daughter have to resemble??? The stares are less frequent when I am with my mother in law, who does have blonde hair and blue eyes.

For all those who have adopted a child who looks different from them, you know what I am talking about. I really can't describe the feeling, I can only write about it. Sometimes it gets under my skin about how people are so appalled that we don't look alike. When I see a child with an adult who does look like them, I made no assumptions-I just smile. In the back of my mind, of course, I am thinking that they could be adopted and if they are-how wonderful.

Mothers and daughters are supposed to resemble-remember the Brady Bunch, Bewitched and the mother-daughter teams on reality shows like The Biggest Loser? I don't think society will ever truly accept children who don't resemble their parents. It may always be a mystery to the curiosity seekers.

Love makes a family, not genetics.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

2009-05-10T11:34:00.003-04:00

Happy Mother's Day! Not only is Mother's Day just for Moms, but it's a time to think about birthmothers and those hoping to me Moms.

Mother's Day is difficult for many women. Maybe their own mother has passed away or the relationship is strained. Maybe they can't be with their own children this holiday. Maybe you are a woman who gave up a baby for adoption and are missing that child more than ever this day. Whatever the case it, Mother's Day isn't always a happy celebrated day for a variety of reasons.

I remember many a Mother's Day I wish I could have slept through. Sure I had my Mom, mother in law, grandmas and sister who were celebrating, but the years when I wanted kids and didn't have any were painful. Going to restaurants and getting wished Happy Mother's Day by well meaning staff. Just smiling and nodding, I had a husband and was certainly old enough to have kids. My sister would let my niece buy me something since I am her Godmother. It's not the same. There was an emptiness that was was indescribable.

I am so thankful for my two miracles who have made my life complete. One miracle who grew in my womb, the other miracle who grew in my heart. God had a plan for me and I would have to wait a bit to be a Mom-it was well worth it!

Think of other women who may be in difficult situations today. Maybe call a friend whose having a rough day or stop by a visit a neighbor whose kids live far away. Remember Moms are a gift, as are children-never take them for granted.

Two Years ago today....please read if you are waiting to adopt...

2009-04-28T10:45:00.001-04:00

Two years ago today, my life was forever changed. Like a verse from "I Hope you Dance" from LeeAnn Womack, "whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens", it happened just like that.

Around 10 AM, I found out I was layed off from my Systems Analyst job of three years. Layoffs were coming and I was not shocked, but none the less upset. I was worried about how it would change my status with the adoption/social worker. I packed my desk, said goodbye to my colleagues and went home. I had tickets to see Grease a a local dinner theater that night with a few friends. I was so looking forward to it, but was now bummed out after losing my job.

I showered, got dressed, put on my makeup and my happy face and went to the play. Somewhere in the first act, I received a call from an unknown area code. I forgot about the adoptions ads I placed. I didn't get out the door in time and the call went into voicemail. I listened to the message at intermission and it was a very serious sounding potential birthmother. After playing phone tag for over a week, we started to talk. She was very serious about placing and my beautiful daughter was born on May 20th.

April 28th was one of my darkest days, or so I thought. It turned out to me one of the most pivotal days of my life. One door closed and another one opened. Your life can change with one call. Don't give up hope! When you least expect it, the calls comes that changes your life.

Wicked Star Kristen Chenoweth talks about being adopted!

2009-04-16T16:51:00.005-04:00

I found this great video segment on Yahoo today and had to share it!

I have been wanting to see Wicked on Broadway for a while-now I really want to see star Kristen Chenoweth perform. This 6 minute clip just warmed my heart. She is so positive about her adoption and being adopted. I also can relate, wanting my petite blond to feel like she fits in with her taller, brunette family! Too bad more public figures aren't sharing their positive adoption stories.

I also loved this interview because Robin Roberts is a cancer survivor (love to hear women overcoming cancer) and I worked with her in TV in the early 1990s. So glad to see her back in front of the camera!

Please watch this video..........

I am officially a publisher author...of sorts!

2009-04-11T16:54:00.002-04:00

If you count e-magazines! I was asked to write an adoption article for theafa.org's newsletter, and I did. I think it's great, but unfortunately, the did not print my bio or contact information, so no contacts came out of it. Disappointed for that, but happy to be published! I hope to write more articles in the future and share my knowledge with others.

Here's a link to my article, published on March 24ths e-newsletter...

You've decided to adopt independently...now what?

Some cute videos

2009-03-29T19:28:00.004-04:00

My eleven year old niece is so talented. She decided to make some videos and boy did I have a good laugh. She made one of my older daughter dancing with Troy from High School Musical. It's hysterical.

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My niece is so funny and creative-she must take after me!!! Here's another one she made with my brother Irish step dancing with his four nieces....

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She outta be in pictures!

2009-03-18T22:18:00.005-04:00

My youngest daughter is not photogenic-she is prettier in person. I do catch a really good picture of her now and then that I just love. A few friends of mine submitted pictures of their adoptive children to the Adoptive Families magazine photo contest quite a while back. They were both notified today that their sons were picked from 10,000 kids to be in an adoption book that will be published in July 2009. Only 75 pictures were picked, so both were surprised and excited to find out the picture they submitted long ago was considered and chosen to be in the book.

I figured "what the heck" and I sent a few good shots in of my daughter. I wouldn't mind being contacted down the road to tell me she made the magazine or the picture was selected for another publication!

Right Now her hair is at an awkward stage. She takes bows out immediately and her hair is thin, straight and flyaway. I will include a couple of pictures from yesterday. St. Patty's day, which we celebrated by wearing green and making shamrock shakes!

Octomom Nadya Suleman=Deadbeat!

2009-03-10T18:26:00.003-04:00

I never did like the idea of this woman with six kids having eight more! Fourteen kids sounds like a kindergarten class-not a family for a single Mom. I guess if Nayda Suleman had enough money to raise her fourteen kids I would be less bothered.

She lives on food stamps, is unemployed, sounds nuts, denies plastic surgery to look like Angelina Jolie (isn't it obvious though) and may not retain custody of her children. I wish her babies well and hope they all are released from the hospital in good health, but how in the world is she supposed to provide care, love and attention for fourteen children under the age of eight? Her parents home is in foreclosure and is too small for all of them to live in, rumor has it-she may be moving into a bigger home.

Is it our job to support this woman? Well luckily I don't live in California, but If I did I would be mad as hell that I have to support this deadbeat who had access to numberous infertility treatments, all of which seemed to work just fine. It's it a kick in the face to those of us that can't have children and have had infertility treatments fail? Her infertility doctor should have his license revoked for implanting her with six embryos.

I can understand a financially and mentally stable single woman having one or two children through invitro, but fourteen? You need a team of people round the clock to care for them! When you impact society with your inability to care for your fourteen children, the public has the right to chime in and complain!

I guess the good news is that there are no more frozen embryos left for Miss Suleman to have implanted in her. Thank God for small miracles?

Signed up with an agency for domestic adoption? You MUST read this post!

2009-02-24T16:55:00.002-05:00

I know so many people who are signed up with agencies and pursuing independent adoption. Many of them are waiting for more than a year. I know you have probably spent a lot of time getting approved and putting together your profile and now are just waiting for the agency to call and say you were matched or there is a birthmother interested in you. Rarely does it work that way. Sometimes it does, but with domestic adoption being as competitive as it is now, you have to do more than wait for the phone to ring.

You have to take action. You have to create your own adoption website, you have to promote your adoption website, you have to network with friends and family and you should consider running print ads. I know these are the steps you usually take in independent adoption, but with agencies cutting back on their advertising (due to the economy), the are getting few placements, but many couples signing up. You have to help yourself out as much as you can afford to in an effort to minimize the wait.

If you are open to various races for a child, or a special needs child, you may not be up against the intense competition to adopt a baby, but it still may make sense to take some steps to get the word out there on your own.

Creating a good adoption website maybe the best tool and best investment of a few hundred dollars in your entire adoption journey. Many, many couples have been matched by the right woman seeing their adoption website!

If you need help creating an adoption website, I can do that at a reasonable price. You supply the text and pictures and I will make it look terrific and be found at the top of the search engines! Visit my website:

http://adoptionadvertising.net

An adoption success.....

2009-02-21T14:20:00.003-05:00

This morning I received a very welcomed phone call from a client. An adoption success story!!! A whirlwind week ending with them welcoming their son into their family. When you least expect it, the call comes!!! They were actually away on a mini vacation with their older daughter earlier this week, when they first heard of the situation.

The baby was due to be born in a day or two and there was no time to dilly-dally. So straight from their mini vacation, they headed to the state where this baby was due (luckily it was just a few hours drive). Not much packed in the car, but luckily their camera and enough clothes to get by! Not knowing what to expect, the potential birthmom spoke to them, met them and really like them. She placed her baby with them right after birth. They met the extended birthfamily in the hospital and it was wonderful.

I think they are still in shock how after months of situations falling through, periods of no phone calls, emails from scammers, and feeling quite low (as of a week ago), your life can change on a dime. It's called fate. Fate is what ultimately determines the baby you adopt. An ad placed in a certain paper at the right time, a friend of a friend hears of a situation and calls you, a woman sees your adoption website and is drawn to you, another couple backs out last minute and you get the call. There are always an interesting series of events that's involved an any adoption story-that's why I love hearing them. Every adoption story is unique, but there is one common threat-FATE.

I am also happy to report that the phone is ringing for some of my other clents with potential adoption situations. There was a lull in phone calls for a few weeks, but the lull seems to be over!
I hope to have more success stories to report in the weeks and months ahead!

Congratulations to this family of four! Enjoy the newest addition to your family. He is lucky to have found a family like you!

Just checking in!

2009-02-16T10:30:00.003-05:00

Sorry I have been a bad blogger lately. I have been busy with my family, my business and a little bit of ebay! :) Valentine's Day has come and gone and I am fighting off bronchitis for a week now. The days are just flying by. I can't wait to feel better and get back to get back to the gym and my diet. Taking megadoses of steroids so I can breath is not what I had hoped when I went to the doctor, but I have to breath.

Some of my clients and friends have been getting some interesting and hopeful adoption calls and situations. I get excited for each and every one of them and hope that if it's meant to be, it works out that way. I truly am happy for them and know that hopeful excited feeling of thinking your baby may finally be coming to you soon.

I have heard that February can be a slow month for adoption calls too, so if you are placing ads, promoting your adoption website and not getting calls-don't get too alarmed. It happens-I, myself went 3-4 weeks without a single call, in spite of spending $1300-$1400 a month on print ads.

Keep the faith and keep advertising! Even if things don't look hopeful, it takes one call to change your life!

Adoption-one step at a time!

2009-02-04T12:26:00.003-05:00

Sorry to be MIA, I have been super busy with my business and the kids.

I am thinking of all my friends who are waiting to adopt. Waiting is the hardest part whether you are adopting domestically or internationally. Every time I hear this song by Jordin Sparks, I think of those waiting to adopt. I love this song, and "It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen!" I do believe that. The words are perfect! Enjoy the song and don't give up hope. Every day you get one step closer to your child!

What states are good to advertise in for adoption?

2009-01-21T00:03:00.002-05:00

I get that question all the time. I wish I knew for sure. I just look for feedback from adoption attorneys, friends and my clients as to where the emails and phone calls are coming from. A few select states don't allow print ads or you wouldn't advertise there because they are agency states. Three quarters of the states are good for advertising. Advertise where it makes sense for you. How far are you willing to travel? Do you have family and friends in certain states so you can stay with them and wait out ICPC?

I always say you should start within driving range and work your way further away if you must. Look at the demographics before you place ads. You want areas where the race reflects the child you hope to adopt and that the population is of child bearing age. Ads in retirement communities in Arizona will do you no good. Lots of areas are hurting from the poor economy, some more than others. You may want to factor that in. Look at the circulation of the paper in comparison to the price of an ad. A one week ad for a 20,000 circulation paper at $100 is not a great deal. A one week ad in a paper with a circulation of 300,000 for $100 is a good deal. Use your advertising dollars wisely. It comes down to putting out lots of ads, doing your research and hoping your ad is in the right place at the right time.

Right now, my clients are getting calls and emails from lots of different places. I can't even narrow down a trend. Don't be discouraged when days or weeks go by without a contact. It happened to me. I think I went three weeks without a call-probably $1,000 of advertising money spent-without a call. Then I got a call-it was "the call". It would be my last call. It resulted in the adoption of my daughter three weeks and two days after that last call.

When you you least expect it, you get "the call"!

My big girl turned 6 last week!

2009-01-14T20:29:00.002-05:00

Well, it's official, Jacqueline is 6 (as of January 7th) and boy did she grow this year! I know she grew, but I am still in shock at how much!

She went for her annual checkup yesterday. From last year's checkup-she gained 11 pounds and now weighs 47 pounds! (62nd percentile). I felt like she would never reach 40 pounds and get into a booster seat this past Spring! She grew 3 1/2 inches and is now 45 1/2 inches (54th percentile).

Wow! My little girl is growing up. After numerous birthday celebrations-I think the celebrating is over and it's back to the usual routine.

Here are a few pictures of the birthday girl taken last week!

Finding adoptive parents for biracial of African American babies

2009-01-03T14:55:00.002-05:00

It seems there is a gap, that I hope I can help fix, even if in some small way. Many Caucasian couples are seeking Caucasian babies and do not express an interest in biracial or African American babies. I know some people pursuing independent adoption feel bad. They receive a call from a woman who wants to make an adoption plan, and the baby they are carrying is biracial or African American and the situation isn't right for them. They don't have anyone else to refer this potential birthmother to. Sometimes the potential birthmother will say "You are the third or fourth couple I called and no one is interested in my baby."

There is definitely a gap here. There are many couples of all kinds, interested in biracial and African American babies. It's just not easy to find them. It can be like finding a needle in a haystack. It can be frustrating for the potential birthmom as well as the couples hoping to adopt a minority baby.

A few months ago a friend posted that she received a call about a biracial baby and was not interested in the situation. I emailed her for information and passed it onto someone in the next state who I know was very interested. Long story short, they are matched and the baby is due very soon. I think my intervention helped all around-1) a birthmother was interested in talking to her and was relieved and 2) A family longing for a baby to love will finally have their dream come true.

I place ads for some clients who want to adopt a minority baby, some newspapers will not print "We are hoping to adopt a biracial or African American baby". They claim it's discrimination. I see their point, but they really want to get the word out that they are open to a minority baby, so a potential birthmom will feel assured knowing if they contacted this couple, she would be rejected.

Maybe some of the online sites that accept profiles and site links from other couples hoping to adopt should allow these couples to be more descriptive or divide their site by the type of child the adopting families are hoping to adopt. Something needs to be done to bridge this gap and help these babies find loving homes without fear of rejection. I guess I have to put my thinking cap on and figure out how I can be the catalyst for change.

I do know of one multiracial family hoping to adopt a biracial or African American baby. They are homestudy approved and can adopt on short notice. They are a wonderful, diverse family and I will take this opportunity to list their adoption website in case anyone reading this is looking for an adoptive family for their unborn baby, who happens to be biracial or African American.

http://twofantasticmoms.com

Thank you to my adoption attorneys..

2009-01-01T11:49:00.002-05:00

I wanted to take this opportunity to thank Denise Seidelman and Nina Rumbold for all their help the past two years. I met them in late 2006 when my husband and I decided to pursue independent adoption. They are wonderful, caring, knowledgeable attorneys who put their clients first!

I just love them and they really saw a spark in me from the begnning and know we would be successful in adopting soon, due to my perserverance and creativity. They were right and five months after being certified, we welcomed a daughter home. They started telling me how I could help others, how I had the know how and skills to offer services to couples hoping to adopt. I didn't believe in myself, but they believed in me. After 17 months of them telling me "You have to do this". I did it. I started my own adoption advertising/consulting service and it's going really well. I love what I am doing and my greatest joy comes from others having success.

I want to thank them, not only for their help and how smoothly our adoption went, but for seeing something in me I did not see. They are constantly trying to help me build my business and referring their clients to me. I will be working with them more closely in 2009 on some administrative/creative things for their practice.

If you live in the NY/NJ metropolitan area and are considering independent adoption, please contact Rumbold and Seidelman. They are wonderful people and skilled adoption attorneys!

Here's their website!

http://adoptionlawny.com

The Pursuit of Happyness!

2008-12-31T19:54:00.003-05:00

First of all, Happy New Year! I hope 2009 brings good health and happiness to all my friends!!! We are ringing in 2009 rather quietly this year. A snowstorm, cold weather and high winds have diverted our plans. Rather than going to dinner and having my in laws watching the kids, we choose to stay home. I cooked a Ravioli dinner and my older daughter and I made brownies. We're making a little party out of it!

Today I realized total bliss. My two girls were playing together and laughing. They were riding little cars up and down the hallway (in our house, none the less). Just to see them finally interacting together and laughing, warmed my heart and made me feel like the luckiest woman alive. Since I was a little child, I dreamed of being a mother of two, and watching them play together and enjoy each other as siblings. I know with a gap of four plus years between my kids, it might take time for that to happen, but today, I could say it really did for the first time. There were days when I thought I would never have one child, let alone two. To see them play together today was priceless.

Ten or even twenty years ago, a good New Year's Eve was going out to a fancy restaurant for dinner, drinking up a storm, partying till the wee hours of the morning, booking a hotel room for the night, dressing up in our best clothes. Now a good New Year's Eve is home with the kids, eating snacks, watching them play and watching Shrek on TV. Our lives have really changed-I know for the better!

I never knew the simple things in life could make me so happy! For those of you pursuing adoption, I hope 2009 is the year you welcome a little one to your home. Do not give up your pursuit of happyness! Here is a picture of my girls playing today...thanks for allowing me to indulge.

Busy, busy, busy thanks to the Holidays!

2008-12-20T23:50:00.004-05:00

The holidays are right at our heels. I have all my presents bought and 99% of them wrapped. I am in pretty good shape this year and spend the next couple of days doing odds and ends for the holidays!

I can't find a couple of presents (hope they turn up), I bought them and misplaced them! I have a couple of holiday parties to go to. I hope to make some cookies with my older daughter. All in all, nothing I can't handle!

It snowed yesterday and it's going to snow again tomorrow. I know it helps some people get into the spirit, but I am not a fan of snow. Good thing my shopping is all done! I guess I should start thinking about Florida or Arizona now! LOL!

Here's our holiday card! I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season and that 2009 brings peace, good health and prosperity to all!

"A home for the Holidays" adoption special airs 12/23

2008-12-13T21:35:00.002-05:00

Be sure to tune in to this annual special which airs on CBS on Tuesday 12/23 at 8 PM Eastern time. I will tune in with my kleenex!

http://www.washingt onpost.com/ wp-dyn/content/ article/2008/ 12/11/AR20081211 02242.html

Stars Align for Adoption

By Susan C. Young Special to The Washington Post
Sunday, December 14, 2008; Y03

Faith Hill watched the TV monitor as the story unfolded of one child's journey from foster care to a loving home, then walked out on the stage to sing "There You'll Be" and instantly choked up with tears.

"Oh, mercy. I had to start over, which never happens," Hill said about her experience taping this year's CBS holiday special on adoption. "As an adopted child, I really have a place in my soul for these children. You'd have to be made of wood not to feel the emotional impact of these stories."

Hill's husband, Tim McGraw, as well as Melissa Etheridge, Jamie Foxx and Gavin Rossdale, are among the performers featured on "The 10th Annual A Home for the Holidays With Faith Hill," airing Tuesday.

Musical performances and personal stories from celebrities frame segments focusing primarily on families who have appeared on the holiday show during the past decade.

One segment tells the story of Frederick Millner of Santa Clarita, Calif., who stayed in foster care until he was 18. Millner, who with his wife adopted a young boy in foster care, said, "I tell my son how much I love him every day. There was always an outline to my life, but my wife and son are the light that has filled the darkness."

These heart-tugging segments even affected the hard-rocking Etheridge.

"I ended up in tears by the end of the show," said Etheridge, who adopted her four children. "TV can be so cynical and stale, but every year this program reaches out and you see the results and see those children getting adopted. . . . It's a total 10-hankie show."

Betsy and David Miles of Richmond, who adopted 9-year-old Katy, recount how they were asked to consider a 14-year-old boy, Haisten, as a temporary placement. (The average age for foster care adoption is 8, and older children are often harder to place.) The couple eventually adopted Haisten.

Older children aren't as appealing to people who want to adopt, said Hill, 41, who was adopted as an infant. "It's easy to forget in this world of excess, shock value and getting the most bang for the buck that the simplest things in life are the ones most valued," Hill said.

"A Home for the Holidays" is presented by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, which was established in 1992 by the late Thomas, the founder of Wendy's restaurants, who also was an adopted child.

In the United States foster care system, about 129,000 children are eligible for adoption, according to a January report by the Department of Health and Human Services.

This may be the result of misconceptions about adopting foster children, including the idea that they are more likely to be juvenile delinquents, said Rita Soronen, executive director of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

"That couldn't be further from the truth. These are kids who had a rough start in life and need a supportive family," Soronen said. "And there's a lingering sense that the biological families can reclaim these children, but that's not true."

For some, it seems as though a program such as this puts children on parade for the holidays. But Soronen said the holiday-themed special just nudges people into making a commitment they've probably been considering for some time.

As Hill talked about her own Christmas plans -- spending time with family and friends, baking cookies -- her husband chimed in from the background that they'll be watching football. After a quick laugh, she said this is what she wants for these foster children -- the kind of family she has now, and the family she had growing up.

"I was always very grateful that I had my family -- my two brothers and my parents, who now have been married for 52 years," she said.

Hill and McGraw's children -- Gracie, 11, Maggie, 10, and Audrey, 7 -- know their mom was adopted and their father was raised by a stepfather who adopted him.

"We never forget that there are children who don't have families, who have to move from one location to another, never sure if they will get pulled out of a situation," Hill said. "This program makes the gap smaller between people who want to adopt and the children who are waiting to find a permanent home."

"A Home for the Holidays" airs Tuesday at 8 p.m. on CBS.

Where are women considering adoption looking for adoptinve parents?

2008-12-12T14:08:00.003-05:00

I can't figure out where women are looking, when it comes to finding adoptive parents for the baby they are carrying. I thought adoptions were an even split between networking, newspaper ads and online matches. It seems that networking still is the most common way for a birthmother to find adoptive parents, at least that's what my adoption attorneys say.

Since Parent profiles no longer accepts NY families (and CA families), where do women search when considering finding adoptive parents? I can tell you first hand that these online adoption sites that couples are paying good money too every month are not working. I look at my clients stats online and they ARE NOT getting hits from these paid sites. It's pretty much a waste of money (and hope)! Newspaper ads are expensive, but do produce some results.

I still believe you have to network though brochures, adoption cards, letters, email, social networking and in person networking. Don't be afraid to network again in 3-6 months.

Another family created!

2008-12-05T16:24:00.003-05:00

Well, this week brought good news. A friend of mine and her husband have adopted a baby boy born earlier this week. They had a rocky road that included a failed adopted earlier in 2009. This baby was due a few weeks ago and I think everyone was getting antsy! Paperwork will be signed soon and they are very excited.

They are such a wonderful couple and will make excellent parents. We met because this summer I their networking adoption card in my local cultural center. I emailed them to offer my support and wish them luck. She lives in another part of NY, but a relative who lives near me actually put the card up. We struck up an online friendship and were emailing almost daily with the latest on their adoption journey. October proved to be lucky for them, when they were picked by the birthparents of their son.

A few weeks ago, I went to an adoption conference and they were the first to greet me when I walked in the door! I got to talk to the new Mom today who sounded more excited than anything else! I can't wait to see pictures of their new arrival.

Just another example of how perseverance never fails and it is all worthwhile in the end! They baby that was meant to be theirs is now their son!

Sunday's APC Adoption conference was amazing!

2008-11-26T21:10:00.002-05:00

I can't tell you how much I enjoyed the annual APC Adoption conference in NYC this past Sunday. As soon as I walked in the door, I was greeted by a friend I made online a few months ago, but had not met in person. It was so nice to get a warm greeting from her and her husband and to finally meet her in person. They are hopeful adoptive parents!

I went to a few adoption workshops and ended up speaking on a panel in one session. I met some online friends I never met before, my attorneys were there, a few of my clients were there and I made a few great contacts with couples hoping to adopt as well as attorneys interested in my services. I took lots of notes and tried to absorb as much information as possible. There was so much out there, it would have been easy to be overwhelmed. It's very valuable information and really is a must attend for anyone in the NYC area who is considering adoption, is in the process or has already adopted-whether domestically or internationally. Mark your calendars APC members, it's always the Sunday before Thanksgiving!

I have to say I was especially proud of myself for finding my way down to Cornell Weill Medical college in NYC and back without getting lost! LOL!

I have been so busy this week doing things for my current clients! It scares me to think this business could explode and be more than I can handle! Right now I am OK, but it can get crazy soon. I don't mind it at all, but the advertising can get challenging as everyone has different budgets and many want the same type of child and want to advertise in the same states. I will not put two of my clients in the same paper at the same time. I'm enjoying the creative parts the most, having just made a website for my clients-which they really like. I can do that kind of work any time of the day too! I guess I should feel blessed that after just a few weeks, I have clients and more signing on!

Kids say the funniest things...

2008-11-19T09:19:00.002-05:00

I love volunteering at my older daughter's school. I do it a few times a month, but once a month, I get to work in the school store. For 1/2 hour, kids get to come down to the school store with their money and buy items like erasers, pencils, notebooks, etc. They are so cute-they are five to seven years old and come down with their money.

I helped one girl who couldn't decide, pick out $1.50 worth of items. She paid with two dollars. I gave her 50 cents change and started helping the next little customer. She starts to walk out, turns around and says to me "You could keep this as a tip!" I totally did not expect it. I started to smile, wondering how and where she thought of that one. I told her-"Thank you, but you should keep it and put it in your piggy bank". She really wanted to tip me. She was adorable to boot! I guess her parents are good tippers. When I told my family and friends, they were hysterical. It's one of those cute stories I will remember forever!

I hope all those who become parents through adoption, get to experience events like this as well! It makes being a parent so worth it!!

We are one of many "Blended" families

2008-11-13T08:50:00.002-05:00

I consider us a blended family. Not in the "Brady Bunch" sense in that our family came together as a result of children from a previous marriage, but because our children are a mix of biological and adopted. It's actually more common then you think. I have many adoption friends who also have blended families as a result of infertility or secondary infertility.

At times it's hard and I feel like all eyes are on us and how we raise our daughters. I really have to treat them equally and do everything fair and square. It's hard because they are different age groups. I try not to favor one over the other, we try to spend equal amounts of money on Christmas and birthday present, etc. It's a challenge for any parent to be "even steven" all the time with their kids. As life goes on, kids will have different needs, whether they be emotional or otherwise and at certain times of their lives it may appear as if you are "giving more" or spending more time with one child over the other. I just feel because one of my daughters is adopted and the other biological, the magnifying glass is really on us, more so than a family with two adopted children or two biological children.

We do the best we can and do treat them and love the equally. I don't really think of them on two separate planes-to me they are just both my daughters. I love my older daughter because I can look at her and see a little bit of myself. I wonder what traits of mine and my husband she will have. On the other hand, I look at my youngest daughter with love and admiration. She is beautiful and already has a spitfire personality. She will be different and break the mold of our cautious family and for that I am glad. I am lucky to have the "Best of both worlds" as Hannah Montana would say, and will continue to strive to treat them equally and make sure they grow up with memories of a happy childhood!

We need to find families for children in foster care...

2008-11-10T22:19:00.002-05:00

There is a real need in the United States to find permanent loving homes for those thousands of children in foster care. The foster care system really can use some revision. Some of the policies are outdated and make it prohibitive to adopt children.

One big factor is risk. Even in cases where unification with a parent is a longshot, the children can be legally unavailable for years. People are afraid to have a child live with them for a year or two or more, only to lose them back to a biological parent that in some cases, the child really would rather not go back to. All relatives are considered as potential parents for the child in foster care, leaving adoptive parents even more at risk of losing the children they are attached to.

Another big problem is that many kids are part of a sibling group and that mean mean adopting two or more kids simultaneously, which is a lot to handle. Bad press and false information about foster kids having "problems" or "issues" or "getting into trouble" also holds potential adoptive parents back from pursuing foster adoption. The older the kids are, the more homes they have been in and out of and the harder it is for them to adjust to a new life in a family. An adoptive family will need lots of time and patience to help their new son or daughter adapt to a new family, new home, new school, new everything.

I know one foster mother who had children of her own and only started to be a foster mother as an occupation. She would foster as many as eight pre teens and teens at a time and collect a nice monthly check-as if she full time job. The problem is-she never cared about the kids. Didn't care what they did, where they went or if they had dinner that night. I have a problem with that, as did her own daughter. It wasn't easy for her to share her parents with dozens of kids, get attached to them and suddenly find they are leaving. She had a very negative view of the foster care system for allowing her own parents to work the system like that. You don't become a foster parent to earn a payheck-you do it to help a child, either permanently or temporarily and treat them as IF THEY WERE YOUR OWN. I don't even agree that money should be give monthly to foster parents. I think, if anything a very small stipend should be given and scholarships should be available to the child upon graduation from high school. Let these children have a chance at a real future, without worrying about where tuition money will come from.

Foster care adoption shouldn't only be for married couples. Open it up to singles and same sex couples. If they can complete a homestudy successfully, and provide financially and emotionally for a child, I don't think restrictions such as marital status, age, or sexual orientation should prohibit them.

My heart breaks to see so many children out there wanting permanent homes. People so unwillng to take the chances and risks to help them. The system needs to be revised so that it better serves the needs of these children and finds permanent loving homes for them more quickly.

November is national adoption month and I hope changes are being considered to the foster care system so that more children may find their foverever homes!

An alternative to traditional adoption...

2008-11-08T22:59:00.002-05:00

Is embryo adoption or Embryo donation. If a woman's body can endure a pregnancy and carry it to term, maybe an embryo adoption may be something to consider.

Hundreds of thousands of embryos are sitting in storage, with decisions needing to be made about their fate. Couples that decide their family is complete, but have viable embryos stored opt to help other couples (or single women) in their quest to be parents. The couple whose embryos are stored picks the couple that will "adopt" the embryo and one or more will be implanted in the adoptive Mom. Assuming the procedure works, she may be pregnant with one or more babies that will be fully biologically related to the couples other child or children.

The adoptive Mom doesn't necessary have to tell people casual acquaintances what's going on, she can just let everyone know she is pregnant. She gets to experience a pregnancy and know she is taking excellent care of herself during the pregnancy. She gets to give birth and bring the baby home. It's a unique and amazing process to experience adoption and pregnancy almost simultaneously.

Couples storing embryos are usually middle to upper class people with good jobs and financial stability, therefore the babies that result come from desirable backgrounds and education level. I think it's an amazing way to change a couple's life and may be a viable alternative to traditional adoption. Check this website for more information or you can look up "embryo donation" or "embryo adoption" on the internet.

http://www.nightlight.org/snowflakeadoption.htm

Happy Election Day....

2008-11-04T22:46:00.002-05:00

I hope everyone got out there and voted today. I know voter turnout was good all over the country and that shows you how much interest there is in this election. I think this presidential election will make history, change history and lead our country in a new and better direction.

I remember feeling like this in the fall of 1992. I voted for Bill Clinton and in the eight years he was in office, I found a very good job, get great raises, afforded to buy a condo, saved money, went on vacations, and was financially sound financially sound. I never dreamed all these things I hoped for would come together so soon-really by 1996, our lives and finances had turned around. I got married at 23 (in 1992). By the time I was 30, I had accomplished a lot and was leading a very financially stable life. The last eight years have been horrible. I have been layed off twice, we watched our 401K and stocks sink, while our food, utilities, gas and oil bills have skyrocketed. Raises are few and far between and my husband's health care plan for our family sets us back $550 a month. I have been out of work 18 months and even with my skills, can't find a job, unless I want to take a 20K pay cut, which I am not willing to do. I am not alone, every day I hear of someone else layed off and worried about their future. Foreclosures left and right in my county. It's sad that the last eight years have been so insecure for many people.

It's time for change-a change for the better-like Celine Dion said "A New Day has come". The economy will change, the stock market will bounce back, home values will rise again, the job outlook will get better, foreclosure rates will slow down, banks will stabilize, but it's going to take YEARS to get everything back on track. Be patient and look towards the future.

November-change your clocks & Adoption Awareness month!

2008-11-02T12:24:00.002-05:00

It's November already, Halloween is over, but the candy is still lingering in our house. The retail stores have skipped Thanksgiving and went straight to Christmas!

I hope you all remembered to change your clocks back (unless you live in Alaska or Arizona!). I didn't get an hour more sleep-the kids just got up an hour earlier! LOL! I am so glad we now change our clocks the Sunday after Halloween-I have been saying we should do this for 15 years, so kids have an hour more of daylight when trick or treating! Finally in 2007, we started springing forward in March and Falling back in early November!

November is adoption awareness month! This is a great month to learn more about adoption. There are thousands of children of all ages around the United States that need homes. Especially older children, sibling groups and children with disability. Maybe adopting a child through the foster care system is something to think about! All it takes is love and caring!

Visit The Child Welfare Information Gateway by clicking here!

Happy Halloween to everyone!

2008-10-31T16:26:00.003-04:00

I hope everyone is having a great Halloween. It's a beautiful 60 degree fall day here in NY. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays! I have fond memories of dressing up, having Halloween parties and trick or treating in my NYC neighborhood! We used to bob for apples at our Halloween parties-now that I think of it, it was really unsanitary to do that! Oh well, we were having fun!!

For those of you who are parents, enjoy the day with your little ones! For those of you who are not yet parents, I hope next year you are celebrating with a little pumpkin of your own!

Here are pictures of my pumpkins taken the other day! My older daughter is a ballerina and my younger daughter-a fuzzy chick/duck!

She looks like herself

2008-10-30T16:55:00.003-04:00

Last week a friend and I were having lunch at a local diner and trying to catch up. My 17 month old was with us and being quite vocal. The waitress was a middle aged woman who thought she was just adorable and went on and on how cute she looked. Then she started to ask me "Is she your daughter?" and I said she was. Then the conversation started to turn to-she doesn't look like you-who does she look like? She kept insisting that she didn't look at all like me. I didn't want to lie and start making up that she looks like other people in the family.

My friend, who is a grandma, and a middle aged woman was getting more frustrated than I was. Finally SHE SAID "She looks like herself!". I agreed saying "she's a one of a kind!". My friend chimes in "Your nieces are total opposite in looks-one dark haired and dark eyed and the other blond hair, blue eyes" She was right. She seemed almost more offended by it than I was. I am open about my daughter's adoption to friends, neighbors and family, but I don't feel that people like restaurant staff, cashiers and people I will interact with for a few moments of my entire life, need to know she is adopted. Maybe the waitress suspected it, but I think it was wrong of her to really question me over and over again about who she looks like!

My sister looks Italian and my older niece looks Irish and German like her Dad and has light hair, freckles and very blue eyes. People have outright asked my sister if her daughter was "really hers" or if she was adopted. Does every father and son have to look alike? Does every mother and daughter? Genes do blend. Kids can resemble grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.

So, here's a tip for adoptive parents and future adoptive parents. You don't have to disclose your child's adoption to EVERYONE. You pick and choose who you want to know about it. Think of ways to answer awkward questions like this-so you are prepared. At some point, they will come up. People say the dumbest things sometimes. People say the dumbest things a lot of times!

Adoption scammers-why do they do it?

2008-10-29T10:06:00.002-04:00

Why would someone pretend to be pregnant and lead a couple to believe she wanted them to adopt her baby? Good question! Dr. Phil did a show on this last year. My phone was flooded with calls from concerned relatives and friends as we were in the middle of advertising when the show aired.

We did meet up with a scammer-she led us along for two months and I am quite sure she had done it before. By the third phone call, I did not believe her. I had done some internet research on this woman from a small town in Arkansas and I knew she was lying, but never let her know my suspicions. She never did provide my lawyer with proof of pregnancy. Then I pushed the envelope. I said my husband and I wanted to fly down one weekend and meet her. All of a sudden, her ex boyfriend was back in the picture and they were raising the baby-just like that. I never heard from her again. Amazing huh? She probably moved onto a new couple. Although no money changed hands-it was costly. All the hours she and I talked to my attorney at $250 an hour, all the paperwork fedexed back and forth that she never filled out, and that slight, false hope we had, that maybe, just maybe, she really was pregnant.

These scammers are not out for the money, they love the attention. They may be lonely and lacking self confidence. They may even be mentally ill. They like knowing they are important to hopeful adoptive parents. Some will carry it really far and send fake sonograms and medical reports. They really are out to hurt others and need counseling desperately.

Emotional scammers pray on adoptive parents, more so, couples that are adopting independently, but some are known to even fool adoption agencies. Unfortunately, once this happens to you, it breaks your trust and you tend to doubt every call you get from an potential birthmother-your guard is definitely up.

Depending on the severity and if money was taken, scammers can be prosecuted and spend time in jail. It doesn't take away the pain a couple feels after having their hopes dashed that soon they would be parents.

If you doubt the birthmother you spoke to is really pregnant, let your adoption attorney do some investigating for you. Sometimes they can call other lawyers and find out if she has been telling the same or similar stories to other couples. Also, check the adoption scam sites, although scammers frequently used different names, email addresses and locations. Beware, be careful, but don't lose faith in the process-it does work!

Here are a couple of great adoption scam sites, you should check frequently:

http://www.adoptionscams.net/

http://www.abcadoptions.com/scams.htm

Creating an adoption profile

2008-10-28T11:07:00.002-04:00

Creating an adoption profile can be tricky. It takes time, and it's best to work on it a little at a time, as opposed to trying to sit down and write it all at once. The good news is, it will probably closely resemble your adoption website, so the work you are doing will save you time when you create your adoption website.

Microsoft word is a good way to create your profile. It's not easy to get backgrounds to look good though. Writing text and inserting pictures is easy enough though. If you are savvy with adobe photoshop or a card creating software, like Greeting Card Deluxe Factory 2, you can get better results. It's not easy to work with more advanced software, but the results are much more pleasing, at least to the eye! You don't want to make your profile so hi tech looking that it's difficult to read or intimidating. You want it to look nice, since it may be your first impression and you never get a second chance to make a first impression. I DO NOT recommend handwriting a profile and attaching pictures, please find someone who can type it up for you, once you have written out what you want it to say.

Write in simple, straightforward language, you can't assume potential birthparents will understand you if start using complex words and phrases. Use a font that is easy to read and large enough to be read without difficulty. Pick out and include pictures of you with your partner, extended family, and friends. Include pictures of you doing things you like to do. Make it have a personal feel. After reading the profile, a potential birthparent should feel like that got a good glimpse into your life.

Finally, make sure you print out the profile on a decent quality color printer. I recommend keeping the original printout and taking it to office max, staples or some other place that can do color copies at a reasonable price. Make a few copies of your entire profile and keep them on hand to give to potential birthparents. You can always make more from the originals if needed.

If you find that creating a profile is too complex, and need help, or your you can contact me through my business website for assistance at a reasonable price. Remember, your adoption profile is like a resume and yours must stand out to increase your chances of being picked by potential birthparents.

Called to adoption? NY Jets Jerricho Cotchery was!

2008-10-25T20:21:00.003-04:00

I was called to adoption. I can't explain it, but it happened at a young age. I always felt I had some higher purpose in life and I do believe helping people adopt is it. I can't even describe it, but I feel I have a gift and I have to share it with others. I will not change the world, I'm not going to cure cancer and I won't end global warming, but I hope to change the lives of some families who hope and pray for a child to join their family through the miracle of adoption. It's a small task in the universe, but to those I help, it means the world. Jerricho Cotchery shares my call to adoption-for him it happened overnight, for me it was just engrained in me and grew as I got older.

I just read an interesting article about NY Jets #89 Jerricho Cotchery. His is not only a hero on the field, but off the field-to his one year old daughter adopted in September 2007. You can read more about his interesting story and the Cotchery's bumpy road to adoption. They hope to adopt again!

Jerricho Cotchery

Adoption and the economy...

2008-10-24T15:59:00.003-04:00

It's not new news that the economy is in terrible shape and a recession has already started. The stock market is falling, jobs are hard to get, unemployment is raising and the cost of living is far exceeding any kind of raises people are earning. Does the tough economy result in more babies being placed for adoption within the US? Are couples or women who are pregnant facing such a difficult time financially that they have no option then to place their baby for adoption?

I think, (and this is my personal opinion) that the US may see a SLIGHT increase in the number of babies placed for adoption as a result of the economy. During the great depression, it wasn't uncommon for people to drop off children at orphanages because they could not longer afford to feed and care for them. I don't envision things getting that bad, but I think the economy may make adoption an option to be considered for more women than we have seen in recent years.

On the flip side, many couples hoping to adopt may not have the funds available. Stocks and 401Ks that they were depending on to pay for adoption are now worth about half of what they were last year. Home equity lines of credit and personal loans are not so easy to get. The lack of availability of funds and uncertainty about their own financial future, may force some couples to hold off on adoption or not to pursue adoption at all-simply because they can't afford it. Even the tax incentives offered by the government are not nearly enough to cover most domestic adoptions.

In the end, everything will balance out-it always does. Slightly less couples may be hoping to adopt and slightly more babies may be placed for adoption. Hopefully this means that couples are matched sooner and that wait times for both agency and independent adoption are reduced. We can hope!

Independent adoption is on the rise...shifts in adoption trends

2008-10-23T19:43:00.003-04:00

With much uncertainty over international adoption, domestic adoption is on the rise. 20,000 babies and children who would have entered the US and joined US families are now stuck in their native countries due to changes in the process and the slowing down of many popular international adoption programs, like China and Russia. It's truly a shame that children are spending time in orphanages when they could have been in their forever homes, being loved and part of a family.

With that said, the demand for domestic adoption has risen sharply in the last year. I noticed a shift in early 2008. Many adoption agencies have far more families registered than they have in previous years, some are no longer accepting new families and wait times have grown. Many who want to be proactive about adoption are turning to independent adoption, hoping to adopt sooner and avoid long wait times many agencies are advising clients.

I often go online and check some classifieds to see how many adoption ads they are running. Many papers who had no ads for weeks or months at a time, now have ads frequently and sometimes more than one ad running at a time. This just proves to me that more couples are turning to independent adoption as means to adopt a baby in a shorter timeframe. I am amazed at how many adoption ads are running in little known newspapers. Couples are really pulling out all the stops.

Another reason for heavy newspaper adoption advertising in New York is that Parent Profiles, a top site for hopeful adoptive parents going the independent route, is no longer accepting New York couples for legal reasons. In April of 2007, when we signed up for parent profiles, there were about 80 couples from New York on the site-the other day there were 13. It was mind boggling last year to see so many couples. I felt the competition was too heavy and too fierce. Of course shortly after I committed to spending $600 with parent profiles, our daughter's birthmother contacted us-through a newspaper ad!

Parentprofiles.com was the premier site for the last 10 years or so for hopeful adoptive parents. There are many more sites where hopeful adoptive parents can post a picture and link to your adoption website, but they are smaller and less known.

The shifts in adoption trends are event. My next post will talk about how the economy is affecting adoption.

Adoption and infterility...

2008-10-22T13:34:00.003-04:00

Adoption efforts can be severely hampered if you are not emotionally over infertility. I have known some people who adopted, because they wanted to. They could have a baby, those CHOSE to adopt. They are usually very committed to the process. They are eager and ready to adopt.

I find that people (both men and women) who have not put infertility issues aside, are not mentally ready to adopt. They go through the motions, they fill out the paperwork, get their homestudy done, etc. Then they don't do what they need to to keep the process going. They drag their feet creating a profile, creating an adoption website, getting networking cards, etc. The drive is just not there because the are not 100% fully committed to adoption. Maybe they will get pregnant this month and they won't have to go through all this to have a baby. Maybe that's not a possibility, but they haven't completely come to terms with infertility. I know, that was me in 2001-2002. I was "living in two worlds". Each month hoping to get pregnant and each month passing with me dragging my feet on adoption tasks that my lawyer needed me to do. I know how it feels to be "on the fence". It's not conducive to a successful adoption.

In late 2006, when I met with our adoption attorneys they just knew. They knew that we were going to be successful in adopting and it was going to happen soon. they knew I had a fire in me that made me want to do everything possibly to adopt quickly-and they were right. My desire and committment to adoption made me order networking cards, do all our paperwork, get our homestudy done soon, create our adoption website, etc. as quickly as possible. We had an adoption situation that looked promising before our homestudy was approved. That's how fast I was moving. I was no longer "on the fence". We knew it was adoption, and only adoption that was going to make our family grow in 2007. I had given up on the idea of ever becoming pregnant again-and was OK with that.

If you are considering adoption, or in the process of adopting-whether it be domestic or international, independent or agency-make sure you are ready and committed to the process. It makes the process easier to handle and you are much more likely to do what it takes to help your baby find you in the soonest amount of time. If you are still dealing infertility issues and haven't fully come to terms with them-you may need to seek counseling or wait until you are emotionally ready to adopt.

Explaining life to a five year old...

2008-10-18T19:21:00.000-04:00

My five year old is becoming more aware of things and I feel the need to explain. Very basic explanations at this point.

She was confused-at the end of dance class her friend was waiting to get picked up we waited with her. He mom did come a few minutes later. My daughter turned to her and said "who's that?". What my daughter never realized in the 13 months we know them, is that her friend has two moms. It's usually the other one that takes her back and forth to class, so she had not met her other Mom, but I had on a few occassions. I told her a boy in her class had two Dads (we only know them a month). We'd only been to one birthday party and I don't think she had any clue that one of her good little buddies had two Dads. I told her families come in different forms-mostly Moms and Dads. But there are families where they are just a Mom and kids, just a Dad and kids, grandparents raising kids, families with two moms and families with two Dads and that's all OK. They are all families and they children are loved! She seemed to understand that, but I wouldn't be surprised if questions pop up later this week. Her mind is always thinking.

My older daughter and I were on an adoption website later in the day. She was seeing caucasian families who had adopted Afro American or biracial babies and was surprised that a black child would have white parents. I think she was more fascinated by the idea. It's not something she has experienced (yet) in our small suburban community. We had to have another talk of how there are so many couples and families hoping to adopt, how thrilled they are to have a child and how the color of their skin is not important and that they are a family that loves each other. Being a family, being happy and loving each other are the most important things for a child. I guess it tied into the who family discussion that came up earlier today.

My daughter is naive, unassuming and innocent-which you should be at five. I know she is also bright, so I am sure more questions are to come and knowing her-detailed ones. I better start thinking of how to address them, because I know the questions will get harder! I got through today's round of questioning.

My adoption advertising business is taking off...

2008-10-17T21:24:00.004-04:00

Much to my surprise, I am already getting quite a few calls and inquiries from hopeful adoptive parents, about my adoption advertising services. A few from the internet, but mostly referrals from friends in the adoption community as well as my attorneys. I haven't even reached out to ANY other attorneys or social workers yet! I'm enjoying helping people and can't wait to hear some adoption success stories!

I actually get on a high talking to folks about adoption. It's not because they may turn into clients-it's because I know even my conversations are helping them. i want to see folks succeed and adopt! I know adoption can be expensive, so I try to recommend cost efficient ways to get a toll free number, website hosting, newspaper ads and online ads. I also charge very reasonable rates, unlike the few people nationwide that do offer this service. I think in time, this could really snowball to be a nice, growing business that I can enjoy doing and make my own schedule.

I have high hopes for ADOPTION ADVERTISING. My only regret is that I didn't start this sooner! Visit my site, a few of my friends that it looked great (thank you homestead.com!):

http://adoptionadvertising.net

Then she found me...(spoilers)

2008-10-15T14:14:00.003-04:00

I finally got to see "Then She Found me" on DVD. I liked it, for the most part. There were times I wanted to yell at the TV though. Here's a synopsis from IMDB:

"A New York schoolteacher hits a midlife crisis when, in quick succession, her husband leaves, her adoptive mother dies and her biological mother, an eccentric talk show host, materializes and turns her life upside down as she begins a courtship with the father of one of her students."

OK that's a lot to digest. Although the reviews were mixed, I just had to see it as much of the movie focused around adoption.

I hated when Helen Hunt asks her rich Biological mother to "Buy me a baby" That's not how you describe the means to becoming a parent-either through in vitro or adoption. I hurt when April (Helen Hunt) discovered that her baby had no heartbeat at 10 weeks (it happened to me twice).
I was angry when Bette Midler (Bernice-biological mother) lied to April about how she came to be adopted by the Epners and that she wasn't three days old, she was one year old. It bothered me that April said her mother looked at her brother Freddy differently because he was their biological son. I have an adopted daughter and a biological daughter and don't look at them any differently.

The movie is definitely worth a look if you are involved in adoption. Women will like it much more than men-it's a chick flick for the most part. Parts were unbelievable. I didn't like her whole involvement with Frank (Colin Firth). The movie touched me on many different levels, so I connected with it-sometimes positively, sometimes negatively. Sometimes I couldn't tell whether adoption was being painted in a positive or negative light.

I know one thing, a birthmother never stops thinking of the child they gave up. I understand that and as a mother, and it brings tears to my eyes. It's a painful choice made for the sake of the child. I always say, my daughter found us...

Yahoo election poll coverage is NOT a good thing

2008-10-13T20:04:00.002-04:00

A few days ago, Yahoo started posting election polls and coverage on their main page. This IS NOT a good thing for anyone. They have even put up a projected number of electoral votes, projecting Obama to have well more than the 270 needed to win.

This is unprecedented and preposterous. Based on polling, they are practically declaring Obama the winner. I am a supporter of Obama, but I think this public disclosure of projected states and electoral votes can only hurt the candidates-both of them.

We already know from election day 2000, that polling isn't the most accurate way to measure who people are voting for. The internet and TV news media are painting this picture of what states are for John McCain, what states are for Barack Obama and what states are "battlegrounds". In their quest to be the best and analyze this election as thoroughly as possible-they are confidently giving states to candidates with three weeks to go until election day. This is bad and really wrong if you ask me.

Obama supporters say, "My candidate has a pretty good lead and is going to win my state, I'm not going to vote". McCain supporters say, "Why bother to vote, it looks like McCain is going to lose anyway". People are influenced by these projections and maps. In fairness to both candidates and the American public, this kind of detailed analysis of not welcomed or fair. Let people decide for themselves, don't make this election a "done deal" before it happens!

Apple and Pumpkin picking!!

2008-10-12T14:35:00.005-04:00

We've had the most gorgeous weather the past few days and today was just spectacular. The skies were bright blue, the leaves are changing colors and the temperature was about 70 degrees. Needless to say, the local apple and pumpkin farm was packed with families in search of delicious apples and the most perfect pumpkin.

We headed out this morning as a family. We hit the pumpkin patch first and Jacqueline picked out our pumpkin, rather quickly too. Then we headed to the apple orchards. The best apples were at the top. Jenna loved running around and fell a few times, but didn't care. She ate quite a bit of a small apple where we were in the orchard. Of course, I took pictures. The one picture of me and the kids didn't come out so good. We took video too, so we'll see how that came out. Here's a few pictures of our adventure today...

This is what happens when you are someone's "person"

2008-10-10T13:47:00.003-04:00

When I watched the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy, my husband I are started looking at each other and just laughing. This is dejavu of my life minus the icicle of course. I'm honored to be my best friend's "person", but at what point do you decide you just can't take hearing it anymore. Going back and forth minute by minute, and hour by hour. Make up your mind woman!

I'm Cristina Yang and my best friend is Meredith Grey. We've had these conversations for hours and days on end. She can't make decisions regarding her husband when he was her boyfriend and she still doesn't know what to do now that she's married to him. I can't decide for you. Last week I told her what I thought, even though I know it's not what she wanted to hear, but as her "person" I felt I really had to.

My guess is this will go on for some time to come. Maybe it just comes with the territory of having a best friend that can't make major decisions about men! I guess it's nice to know I am not alone-there are other's like myself and Cristina Yang in the world!

Annual APC Adoption Conference-be there November 23, 2008

2008-10-09T23:06:00.004-04:00

If you live in the Tri-state NY area and are interested in obtaining information about domestic or international adoption, this conference is not to be missed! Lots of information to be shared about all aspects of adoption, including financing, choosing an agency, independent adoption, having a homestudy done, etc.

It's a great way to meet other people in the adoption community like adoption attorneys, social workers, agencies, other adoptive parents and hopeful adoptive parents. I can't tell you how valuable conversations with these folks are when you are trying to gather information.

Please visit the Adoptive Parent Committee's website and find out more information on the November 23rd event-it's one of the highlights of the year!

http://adoptiveparents.org

I did it! I started my own adoption advertising service!

2008-10-08T16:56:00.003-04:00

After much thought and research, I decided to start my own adoption advertising business. I want to use my knowledge to help others that don't know where to begin when it comes to independent adoption advertising.

I have been helping people for a year and a half. Giving advise, telling them where to advertise, best way to get a toll free number, how to create a profile, etc. I really enjoy talking about and learning about adoption. Every day I learn something new!

My adoption attorneys (who I love), Nina Rumbold and Denise Seidelman have been telling my for over a year, that I just have to do this. I would be so good at it. They have been wanting to send clients my way (and have already) My family and friends are in agreement that this is a gift I have that I need to share with others.

For a reasonable hourly rate, I will place ads for hopeful adoptive parents. I will also assist with profile creation, website creation, coaching you on how to speak to a birthmother, assist with the design of adoption networking cards, and answer your toll free number, if you can't. I do not give legal advice, just adoption advertising advice. I can help you start to make contact with potential birthmothers.

For more information, please visit my website at:

http://adoptionadvertising.net

What made me smile yesterday...

2008-10-07T21:58:00.002-04:00

Being at my older daughter's school yesterday made me smile. It was my first time volunteering at the school bookstore which is only open 1/2 hour on Mondays and Wednesdays. Kids can come with their money and buy pencils, notebooks, erasers, highlighters. etc. for a small price and "shop". It's run by the PTA. As soon as I get there and ask for the key the school secretary tells me there is going to be a planned fire drill in 5 minutes (at least she gave me heads up).

The bell rings, I lock up the "store" (which is more like a supply closet) and go out the nearest exit, where I see my daughter's class leaving. She forgot I was going to be in her school and gets all excited to see me. I had to laugh-I haven't had a school fire drill in over 20 years. They seem to have them often at our school, especially when the weather is good. I found it so amusing, I just had to smile. Almost like a blast from the past, I got to relive an elementary school moment.

The fire drill killed 1/2 the time the store was to be opened, but after everyone got back in the building, I did have two "customers". One little blond boy was so cute. He had a $20 bill all crumpled up in his pocket and he wanted to buy a 50 cent pencil. I counted out $19.50 in change and told him not to lose the change and to make sure he gave it to his parents. He told me the $20 was his allowance! He was so cute and proud of his purchase, I just had to smile. Two smiles in half an hour!

I've waited for days of volunteering at school all my life and I'm happy to say, I am enjoying them! I'm lucky enough to get to do it for two kids! I'll be an old pro by the time my baby gets to kindergarten!

It took 13 years but....

2008-10-04T20:44:00.002-04:00

OJ Simpson was found guilty and will serve jail time!!!! 13 years to the day when he smiled after they found him not guilty for the murder of his wife and her friend Ron Goldman. Thirteen years since he got away with murder, and we all know that he did. I remember that day as if it were yesterday. I remember working at home, being in my apartment, with my very heavy, large black and white laptop. Peering over the table waiting for the verdict to be announced. I thought for sure they would find him guilty. How naive I must have been at 26 years old.

When they announced the verdict my jaw dropped and I sat there in disbelief and anger. I can remember exactly where I was standing. It's almost the way people remember where they were when JFK was shot. I was angry that he would get away with this because he bought his way out of it. Angry because his children now had no mother and he was to blame. Angry because the justice system has failed as far as I was concerned.

The majority of Americans believe he was guilty of murdering his wife and Ron Goldman that that may have hurt him is his recent armed robbery trial in Las Vegas. Nobody has liked OJ since. I hope they throw the book at him and give him the maximum sentence. I hope he lives the rest of his life in prison. He'll probably just get a few years and then be out, but at least he will have to serve time-many people don't care if it is for armed robbery and not for murder. He finally will sit behind bars! Long, long overdue.

What do I want to be when I grow up???

2008-09-24T22:07:00.002-04:00

I have been out of work 17 months. I have been looking for a job feverishly for the last four months applying to 10 jobs a week or so. Daycare will be very costly, jobs are paying less than a few years ago and they want you to work your butt off for no overtime. I have been layed off from major corporations twice in six years due to downsizing.

I like the benefits, social aspect and regular paychecks of a job at a large company. I don't like office politics, being denied vacation days and missing out on my kids lives. Every night I go to bed trying to decide-Do I really want another 9-5 job or do I want to try to do my own thing and start my own business.

For over a year now, my adoption lawyers have been telling me how great I would be at starting my own adoption advertising business. I would enjoy working from home, not paying daycare and making my own schedule. They would refer clients to me who need help with profiles, websites and advertising. I could place ads on their behalf. I did extensive research and demographics research on hundreds of newspapers last year, why let it go to waste right? Everybody in my family and all my friends say it's a no brainer and I should do this. Why am I so hesitant and afraid. I don't have much to lose. I have all the skills and knowledge to put this into action. I keep making excuses instead of making the decision to do this.

My heart is so into adoption. I often advise people at no charge. I find it hard to charge for my time and services, but I will have to get over that. I would be so happy to help people and know I have changed their lives. On the flip side, if the results aren't positive, I will feel bad for my clients. I guess I have to learn to separate my heart from my head a bit.

I can't keep mulling this over. I need to make a decision. I am wasting hours every week looking for and applying to jobs in a terrible job market. Domestic adoption is on the rise and there are lots of families out there who I could be helping. This is a great time to start up such a business and my attorneys believe in me so much, they are willing to sit down with me and take time out of their busy schedule to get me started. I guess it's time to start believing in myself and follow my heart into what I hope becomes a fulfilling career.

American Girl has ticked me off!

2008-09-21T11:43:00.003-04:00

The other day my 11 year old niece was over and we were looking at the American Girl website. I want to buy my youngest daughter a bitty baby soon and we joked last year how Jenna looked exactly like the blond haired bitty baby they sold LAST YEAR. I emphasize last year, because it seems in the last few months, they changed the blond bitty baby and the eyes are no longer blue. They are blue-grey now, but honestly, they look light green. I called American Girl and asked if they have any of the retired blond bitty babies in stock for sale. Of course they don't.

Now if I want to buy the bitty baby that looks like my daughter, I will have to search ebay and probably pay $100 with shipping for a $42 doll. I am so ticked. Maybe people will complain and they will bring back the blue eyed baby.

Here is the bitty baby I want that they sold for years with blue eyes!

Here is the new, current blond bitty baby with what I think are green eyes:

A day or milestones...

2008-09-20T19:46:00.006-04:00

Well today my girls both celebrated milestones. My older daughter had her first dance class for the year, and is now starting her third year of dance. She loved her class and is now taking ballet, tap and jazz. She still has the same dance teacher and was happy that most of the girls were from her class last year. I had to take the annual picture of her in her dance outfit as I do every year on the first day of dance class!

My younger daughter celebrated a milestone too-she turned 16 months old today! She may not look it, but my fireball is getting older and more mature every month! Of course, I had to take her monthly picture of her too. Now she rarely sits still and it hard to catch her posing! My favorite ended up being one in the high chair!

That's my girls-making me proud every day!!!

Our cruise on the Love Boat...

2008-09-17T18:07:00.007-04:00

On Saturday, September 13th, was our 16th wedding anniversary. Months ago, we decided to book a one night cruise to nowhere on the Norwegian Cruise Line Spirit, out of NYC. My parents watched our girls for a weekend and we were off to celebrate 16 years of wedded bliss!

I had never been on a cruise before and was in awe of the port itself (there were two other cruise ships "parked next to us". Our ship had 13 floors, 11 restaurants and lots of stuff to do. Our room was small as we got the basic room with no porthole. I guess you could say we were in steerage! It was fine for one night. Better than I thought actually. I am claustrophobic and wanted to see how I could hand the small room-I was fine. We were barely in the room!

The food was great, the entertainment was great and it was nice to spend 24 hours not making bottles, cutting up food, changing diapers and telling kids what to do. We had a really great time on our cruise! We were very mature and made fun of the safety video playing in our room and had to try on the lifejackets just for fun! I really enjoyed my husband's company and we were so relaxed not thinking of the kids for one day.

This was a test and since we both liked the cruise, we will consider a longer one to a further away destination! Maybe a four day cruise next??? This is where it comes in handy to have a sister that is a travel agent! Here's a few pictures we took!!!

The shops and promenade on the Spirit

View of the west side of NYC at pier 88 (near Intrepid Museum)

Not bad for a picture taken by the camera on a timer! Love the fake window!

It's September 11th-again...

2008-09-11T12:02:00.002-04:00

Just about every year since September 11, 2001, I have watched some, if not all, of the reading of the names of those that died at the World Trade Center attacks. It's been seven years, but those families will always come out to the memorial ceremony. This year, some rather young children read names and then did it in memory of their father who died on 9/11. From how old they look, they probably barely remember him. Every year, what those family members say, often brings me to tears. Lives lost to soon. Children missing fathers, wives missing husbands, sisters missing brothers, and friends missing friends.

I am lucky, we did not lose anyone close to us on 9/11. I feel grateful for that. I also feel sadness every year for the thousands of people I never met, but yet feel their loss. Hearing their name, seeing a small picture, their age, and where they were from, makes it real. They were people with lives. If it weren't were fate, I could have been a grieving widow. My entire life would have been radically and tragically altered. God spared our family this pain. Other families were not so fortunate.

This year, I had to explain 9/11 to my oldest daughter, who was asked to where red, white and blue to school today. I gave a brief explanation of what happened. I didn't think a five year old needed to be frightened with images, she just needed to know it's a day to remember and to celebrate being an American. I'm sure in years to come, I will have to explain in further detail what happened to both my daughters. I don't look forward to that, but it's a part of life and now a part of history. A sad part of history.

If I live to be 100, I will always remember what I was doing when I heard of the 9/11 attacks. I will never forget.

Happy Anniversary Grandma and Grandpa

2008-09-08T21:45:00.003-04:00

Today is my grandparents actual wedding anniversary-62 years! WOW!!!!! It seems like just yesterday, they held a big 40th anniversary party-like a wedding! That was 22 years ago. My grandparents were afraid they would not make a 50th anniversary and had a big 40th so they could enjoy their party while they were healthy enough to dance.

Luckily, in spite of some healthy crisis's my grandparents are still in relatively good health and go out and do things almost every day. My grandfather is now 91 and my grandmother 81. We got the whole clan together to celebrate yesterday-the children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. We were 23 people in total I think. We had a wonderful dinner and it was nice to see my cousins and their kids. We ranged in age from the youngest (my daughter, who is one), to the oldest (Grandpa at 91). The youngest generation is made up of eight girls, all under the age of 11! My grandfather is still waiting for a great grandson!!!

I am lucky enough to come from a stable family where couples stay married for the duration. Last week, my parents celebrated 40 years of marriage and next week my husband and I will celebrate 16 years of marriage. My aunts and uncles are all married 35 plus years. Marriage isn't always easy-almost every couple married for many years has been through ups and downs. They only tell their closest family and friends-infertility, financial woes, health problems, loss of a child, strains of working, difficulties raising children, learning to compromise, and still loving each other through the journey.

It seems like the good times, the fun times and the love make all the bad times seem like distant memories. I can still remember our first few years married, some of the great trips we took, some of the silly things we did and the fun we had being young and in love. Although it's easy to take anniversaries for granted, we shouldn't.

We should celebrate each and every one. In this day and age, a lasting marriage is something to be celebrated. So here's to you-my grandparents-for setting such a fine example of what marriage and love are!

My big girl's first day of school...

2008-09-03T20:46:00.005-04:00

Well my older Daughter boarded the bus today for her first day of kindergarten. She's been waiting for this for years-literally! I know she's fine-my Mom works at the school and called me to say she's doing great! I don't know who is more excited-Jac or my Mom!

We were married over 10 years when by some miracle Jacqueline did come along. There were many many days I cried thinking I would never get the joy of putting my child on the bus on the first day of school. I have looked forward to this day for years. It's great to experience the "firsts" as a parent. I love that I get to do it one more time with Jenna and experience all the "firsts" one last time.

Being a parent-no matter how you become a parent-is soooo wonderful!

Here are a few pictures of my daughter waiting for and boarding the bus! Thanks for looking!

Happy Birthday Dad...

2008-08-30T22:32:00.003-04:00

We just got home from celebrating my father's 61st birthday. 13 of us altogether gathered for dinner and cake and a little craziness. Things get crazy when you have people together that range in age from 91 to one!

This year was a special year. Usually a 61st birthday isn't, but for us it was. In early June, he had a very serious heart attack. He's had two stents put in his heart in two separate surgeries. This summer has not been an easy one for our family, especially my parents. Although he has a few issues that will need to be addressed with his heart in years to come, we are happy he's alive, OK and back to work. We all chipped in and got him an Nikon D80 digital camera and lenses, camera bag etc. It's backordered, so I had to make a computer printout of the gift. He's really excited. We normally would not have splurged, but we know how much he wanted it and we realized time is precious.

I've spent a lot of time this summer worrying about my Dad, it was nice to celebrate for a change. Tomorrow we get to celebrate my parents 40th anniversary!

Here's a picture of my father and his four granddaughters. Hopefully, these little ones are the reason he takes care of himself and lives a long life!

Gone baby Gone

2008-08-28T11:12:00.002-04:00

Caylee Anthony is gone, baby, gone. I had been meaning to see the movie for a while now and finally got around to it. When you have two young daughters, it's scary to think they could be abducted in the blink of an eye. I liked the movie and I couldn't help but think of poor missing Caylee Anthony. I have been following her case since the start.

Forensic evidence came back yesterday proving a decomposing body was in the back of her mother's car-almost certainly indicating that Caylee is dead. It didn't come as a surprise to me or many others. I held out a glimmer of hope that someone still had her alive and was hiding her.

In the movie Gone Baby Gone, a four year old goes missing. The poor girl led a miserable life and would have been better off being adopted by a loving family. She is found alive at the end and returned to her mother to continue her life, filled with unhappiness, loneliness and lack of affection. Had Casey Anthony decided to place her baby for adoption before she was born, that little girl would have just celebrated a third birthday with a family that adored her and could have been enjoying the last carefree days of summer. A life that could have been saved. Caylee-you deserved so much better!

I hope they recover her body soon, where ever her mother buried or discarded it. Her grandparents and uncle seemed to care and I'm sure would like to have a proper funeral and burial for her. As for Casey Anthony-I have no use for her. She is a mentally ill, sociopath who loved partying and men more then her own daughter.

There are couples and families who would do ANYTHING to adopt a baby and love them unconditionally. Then there are parents who kill, abuse and discard their children with no appreciation for the gift God has given them. The world is full of injustices.

Just like a tattoo...

2008-08-24T21:54:00.002-04:00

I'll always have you..............Jordin Sparks said it best.

I have to admit, I have been thinking a lot about getting a tattoo lately. I have always wanted one. Years ago, I would have picked my alter ego-Snoopy as Joe Cool and put it on my ankle. I still may do it, but right now I want to memorialize my two babies lost to miscarriages in 2006. I have been looking at designs, but am undecided. Maybe cherubs, maybe hearts with angel wings, I'm not sure at all. Looking online can make your mind spin-so many designs, websites, things to think of. I think I have narrowed it down a bit, but need to give it more thought since it will be permanent.

I'm hoping it will help me heal a bit. I think of them every single day. For my husband the pain is not as real. He thinks I am overreacting when I even bring up the miscarriages. Tomorrow would have been my first angel's 2nd birthday. She was due to be born by C-Section on 8/25/06. I should have been having a 2nd birthday party today and not thinking about how to memorialize angels I never met.

I did see a beautiful image of two angels that reminded me of my two girls. My beautiful brunette and my angelic blondie. Here's the image that reminds of my my angels here on earth!

I got my text message from Barack Obama....

2008-08-23T09:49:00.002-04:00

at 3:30 AM!!!!!!!!!!! I was sleeping and heard by cell phone go off that I had a text. I know nobody would text me at that time. It was either the VP decision I signed up for or an Amber alert. It was the VP decision. I was not surprised by his choice to pick Joe Biden and was actually disappointed in 1) receiving a text that woke me up and 2) that he did not pick Hillary Clinton. Needless to say, I just shut my cell phone off for the rest of the night and went back to bed. A very anti climatic decision if you ask me.

Supposedly there was a leak that forced the Obama camp to send out there text after 3AM Eastern time. Most expected the text to come this morning, when people are awake.

Much ado about nothing....hopefully, I will get a better night's sleep tonight!

I love facebook...

2008-08-20T12:01:00.002-04:00

I just signed up for facebook the other day, after a friend invited me. I was so surprised to find out lots of people I know were on it, unlike myspace. I guess it's more user friendly to us old farts in our upper 30s! I have to say, it's easier to use.

I connected with some old college friends, old high school friends, old co-workers, current friends and even some old grammar school friends. It's great to know I can reach out to them and see how they are doing now. I love seeing the pictures of my friends and their families. I was reluctant to sign up for a long time, but I am glad I did. I do encourage it, especially if you are planning a reunion of some kind and hoping to contact people you've been out of touch with for a while.

It's cool to see how everyone has their circle of friends and how they have a few friends in common with you-it's like 6 degrees of separation! Great for social networking!

The Olympics should be for amateurs....

2008-08-14T21:32:00.002-04:00

Up until 1988, the Olympics were for amateurs. It was their time to shine. The young non professional athletes waited their whole life to possibly become a household name. For the past 20 years, the Olympics has become a mix of professional athletes and amateurs and I don't think it's fair.

That's what made the Olympics exciting-young, undiscovered talent hoping to win their country the Gold medal. Mark Spitz, Bruce Jenner, Eric Heiden and the 1980 Mens Hockey team will forever stand out in my mind-my childhood Olympic heros. Unknowns rising to be American heros. Making our country proud and encouraging the youth of our country to go for the Gold.

In this summer Olympics, we have pro tennis players, some countries have pro baseball players and of course pro basketball players. The US did not send our best pro baseball players-they are too greedy to take two weeks off and miss two weeks pay to make our country proud. They are already "discovered" and well paid. Pro hockey takes a break during winter Olympics so athletes can represent their team in the Olympics.

I personally like watching womens softball the best. I can relate, I played softball. For these women, this is as good as it gets and the highlight of their career. Once a player graduates from college, there isn't anywhere to go. No leagues, no going pro. Women of all ages from all parts of the country playing together in hopes of medaling!

I hope people around the world appreciate the dedication these athletes have for their sport. I hope a new breed of Olympic heros rises and that they are the amateurs. Pros have the endorsements already, millions of fans and multi-million dollar paychecks. They don't need another pat on the back. Let and up and coming athlete have a moment of glory.

Happy Birthday Caylee Anthony

2008-08-09T15:12:00.002-04:00

Happy Birthday Caylee! Today you turn 3! You should be celebrating with friends and family. A party with cake and ice cream, lots of balloons, maybe even a clown. Instead of today being a day of celebration, it's just marks one more day that you are missing. Nobody has seen or heard from you since mid June. A web of lies and deceit makes the investigation more complex. A nation is concerned for you, but we are all helpless. The only one who holds to the key to where you are is your mother and she's not talking. Millions of people are thinking of you and praying for you today-just know that you are loved.

With each passing day, the prospect of finding you alive grows dimmer. As a parent of two young girls, I am fascinated and disgusted, all at the same time, by your disappearance. My heart aches for you-a young, innocent soul, who should be enjoying a care free childhood. If one of my girls were missing for a hour, I'd by hysterical. You're missing for 7 weeks, yet your mother only talks of herself and found time to party, shortly after you went missing. Right now you are a lost soul. I hope you are found so we have closure to the mystery that surrounds you.

Whether you are somewhere on this earth, or up in heaven-Happy Birthday to you!

What happened to Fat March???

2008-08-04T16:28:00.002-04:00

There was a show on last summer that I loved-it was called Fat March. I was hoping it would come back this summer. It was a show about overweight people that were picked to participate in the game, with a prize based on how many team members made it to the finish. The contestants had to walk a certain distance in a certain number of hours every day. Everyone lost lots of weight. They were working with personal trainers and their meals were very healthy. Unfortunately every night they had to sleep in tents. That must just kill you after walking all day.

I loved the show and found it inspirational. I was hoping it would come back, but it didn't. Oh well, I'll just have to wait until The Biggest Loser returns for my fix of reality TV dieting!!

The search for Caylee Anthony

2008-07-29T10:49:00.002-04:00

I have been following the Caylee Anthony story very closely since it first broke. I hope her mother remains in jail. She is obstructing justice to say the least. She shows no concern about her daughter and is more concerned about herself. She did not report her daughter missing for over a month??? I would by hysterical if one of my daughters were missing for an hour. I would be distraught and probably unable to function. I would be begging everyone to look for her, pleading for her safe return. Casey Anthony has not done this. I think her parents are enabling her or covering up for her. They know more than they lead us to believe. They have not been direct in talking to the authorities.

I hope investigators know more than they are letting on. They are no closer to finding Caylee than when she was first reporting missing. The truth is, more than likely, poor Caylee is probably dead at the hands of her mother or her mother's boyfriend. Casey knows where she is-probably buried somewhere in a shallow grave. Tell us what you know-come clean-tell the truth. Let's put this case to rest.

Was Caylee sold for money? Was there ever a nanny? Did she die in an accident and you are covering it up? Was she killed intentionally? Is she being held for ransom and you are afraid to speak up? Did you want to get rid of her, so you could party like other 22 year olds?

There's more to the story-let's hear it. There are thousands of couples who would have adopted your little girl if you no longer wanted to be her mother. She deserved better than what she got. I hope I am wrong, but my gut tells me this little girl has been dead for weeks. I pray I am wrong!

The people in your neighborhood..

2008-07-14T20:49:00.002-04:00

I have lived in my house almost nine years. Today during my walk (for exercise) I was reflecting on the people in my neighborhood. It was nice to see my 22 year old neighbor (a guy) playing catch with his Dad in the street. It was sad to see one neighbor walking a dog that was once spry and is now struggling to walk and quite old.

A street sign that has been missing practically since we moved here was finally replaced. How long before someone steals that "Princeton Drive" sign yet again?? As the neighbor hood turns! The kids that played in their front yards when we moved her in are driving and in high school or college. Scary how the years have flown by. I actually knew the family that lived here before us. I went to high school with their son. They lived here 27 years and raised three kids. I like to think of my house as a "happy house". The kids grew up and moved out. They had an inground pool and closed in up-we still get magazines. My husband thinks he knew where in the yard it was. I wonder if it was broke or nobody was using it, so they filled it up? I wished I had more info on the pool.

I have a neighbor who is elderly and an original home owner. She tells me stories about the other families that lived in the neighborhood and in my house. I think it's kind of cool!

I will always remember this house as our first house. A house I fell in love with because of the property, it needed quite a bit of renovation. A house we had ups and downs in and the house we brought both our children home to. Sometimes I fast forward to the future and I can still see my husband and I living here. The house is quieter and I have my office back and a guest room for when the kids come to visit. So much of this house is ours-the new windows, new kitchen, new bathroom. It didn't feel like our house at firstm, but it did after we put our own touches on it!

I love my neighborhood and house. NY is getting expensive to live in. I hope we can stay here and not be forced to move to somewhere cheaper. I'd hate to be forced to move from a place I love so much.

The kindness of strangers

2008-07-09T18:41:00.002-04:00

Yes, strangers can be kind people-even in NY. I usually run a craigslist ad in my county advertising my Lia Sophia business. A woman who used to sell Lia Sophia emailed me and asked if I wanted some of her old supplies at no charge. She was going to throw them away and thought I could use them.

She lives about 1/2 hour away-but comes to the next town over to tutor a kid. We met in the town where she tutors and she gave me the stuff, lots of forms, a tote bag, some postcards and a retired piece of jewelry. So nice of her. I had brought with me a dunkin donuts gift card to give to her and am so glad I did. She was so nice and glad to help me out!

It just goes to show-there is still goodness and kindness in the world-now if I could just get some more Lia Sophia parties booked-I'll be psyched!

So confused....Big girls don't cry-do they???

2008-06-29T20:00:00.003-04:00

I am so confused right now, I feel torn. I have been dieting for the past 20 years. In college, I just needed to lose 10 or 20 pounds and I did gain and lose. I wasn't unhappy with my weight for the most point at that time in my life. I was an underweight child, always being told to eat.

Over the past 10 years or so, my weight has become an issue. In 1996, I joined weight watchers and came within two pounds of goal and stopped going. I had lost 47 pounds and was wearing size 7. Unfortunately the weight came back as quickly as it came off. In June 1998 I joined weight watchers (for the 2nd time). I lost 55 pounds in 6 months. I went six pounds under goal and became a weight watchers leader. I wore size 5. I felt great-better at 30 that I felt at 20! I thought there is no way I will gain it back-WRONG! Within a year, I gained it all back and then some.

The last few years have been very disappointing. My motivation to even have an honest week of dieting is not there. It's difficult to exercise with two kids. I do have success if I go to weight watchers meetings regularly and have a motivating leader. Just this past fall I lost 28 pounds-in nine weeks-and then stopped going to WW!

My sister had gastric bypass surgery in March of this year. It got me thinking about lap band surgery. I finally went to a free seminar. I am very interested and not afraid of the surgery itself. It appears my insurance will cover it, but it takes 3-6 months to get approved. I would have to gain a decent amount of weight to have a BMI over 40 to get approved easily for the surgery. I won't do that. I think it's counter productive. I want to get approved the way I am. My BMI is over 35 and I do some a couple of co-morbities, but they are slight, one being sleep apnea. I am pre diabetic, my triglycerides are always over 500 and my blood pressure is about 145 over 90 all the time. I have asthma and back problems. My weight isn't helping at all! I am worrying about my future health, diabetes and heart disease run rampant in my family.

I hate to waste 3-6 months waiting to be approved. What if I am denied? That's months I could have been trying to lose weight again. I feel like my life is on hold. I will have to go through another birthday and Thanksgiving and Christmas looking and feeling like this. I haven't been watching what I am eating or taking walks the last few weeks because I don't want to lose weight before my consultation with the bariatric surgeon. I'm not considering the surgery because I can't lose weight, it's because I can't keep it off and gain it back SO fast. The yo-yo dieting is not good for my heart.

Part of me wants to try weight watchers or a traditional diet one more time-right now. The other part says that since I am not working now, it's an opportunity to pursue lap band surgery and change my life. I want to be thin forever, not for six months or so. I know if I don't have the surgery, 5 or 10 years from now, nothing will change-I will weight the same, possibly more. I have to do something to change my fate and save my life. Diets only have short term results for me. I want my life back while my kids are young. I felt so good the few times in my adult life I was thin-I want to feel like that again. I know the surgery has no guarantees, but statistically, it's much more successful than traditional dieting. Lifestyle changes must be made.

I am so confused, but I am moving forward with the lap band surgery route. I really and truly feel it's my key to being at a normal weight for the rest of my life. I hope I'm doing the right thing.

Gentlemen start your engines....

2008-06-25T22:28:00.002-04:00

I have been needing tires for my SUV for a long time. Finally Saturday, I decided I could not wait any longer. The front tires were bald on the sides. I love the tires I had, they were BF Goodrich and were $83 or so a tire-not bad for an SUV. When I drop the car off, the guy says they are now $110 each. I wasn't going for that. I asked "What's cheaper?"

He said he had these tires made by BF Goodrich, good quality, but they are rough and a little nosier. For $93 a tire, it was the best I could do. I can withstand a little noise-right? Well $563 dollars later (I needed an oil change and an alignment), I was good to go. OUCH!

When I drove the car out of the lot, I could immediately tell it was louder. My SUV is driving like a pick up truck and the only way I could describe the increased noise in the tires is the SWOOSH you get when all the cars pass you at a Nascar race. Seriously. I never thought tires could make that big of deal in how your car SOUNDS. I'm getting used to them-let's just put it at that. Maybe I should have shopped around more...I guess the Mark Martin license plate holder on the back of my car is appropriate now!

There are worse things I could do....

2008-06-20T11:38:00.003-04:00

So yesterday my older daughter graduated from pre-school. We took her to Toys R Us to pick out a new bike. She was thrilled. While I was there, I happened to spot these Grease Barbie Dolls. Never saw them before. There was just one Rizzo left. I couldn't take the chance of not having this doll. I went back to the store and bought it for myself!!! $35 on a doll for myself. Even the cashier commented on what a great doll she is!

It's ironic because I never liked dolls in the first place-ever. I just had to have it!!! I love her in her pink ladies jacket-I could just picture here saying "I'm going to RULLLLEEE the school" There are so few Barbie dolls with black hair. As a kid, I hated that all the dolls were blonde and blue eyed, I never could relate. No doll looked like me. Dolls in the 1970's didn't look like Italian girls! I love the movie Grease. I've seen the play Grease quite a few times. I was in Grease in High School (guess what part I played???). I think it will look nice next my daughter's collectible "I love Lucy" doll! My husband was a good sport about it and laughed, knowing how much I did want this doll.

So-here she is....Rizzo! Isn't she great?? There are worst things I could do, then buy a doll or two.

Prom night on Friday the 13th???

2008-06-14T10:01:00.002-04:00

It sounds like a recipe for a teen horror movie! Last night was a beautiful June night here and one of our local high schools was having their prom. As I navigated the local streets with my kids in tow, I saw groups of teens dressed in tuxedos and beautiful dresses posing for pictures on suburban lawns. I can't even imagine what these parents spent on limos, prom tickets, dresses, makeup, hair, tuxes, etc. It was so nice to see though. To be 18 again! I got a bit teary eyed.

It was 21 years ago (yipes!) that I went to my senior prom with my husband-who was then my boyfriend of four months! I told my oldest daughter how grandma and I went to a bridal store months before to pick out the electric blue dress I would wear and I had shoes and a purse dyed to match! How my hair and makeup were done just so and how my friends and I all rented a limo and were so excited. I told my daughter that her Dad was a great prom date. Although he wasn't into dancing much, he did take me to NYC for a horse and carriage ride in Central Park and then to a comedy club. We came home the next morning, exhausted, but happy!

I can't wait until my girls are old enough to go to the prom! They can go to more than one each! I don't care what it costs. As the mother of two girls, I have the thrill of picking out the dress and the jewelry and getting caught up in all the prom hoopla! It's one of those moments that mothers of daughters live for! I can just picture my girls looking stunning all dressed up-perfect ladies.
The way the years fly by, that day will come before I know it.

It's like a heat wave......

2008-06-10T21:03:00.003-04:00

This is day four of the New York area's pre-summer heat wave. Yesterday and today, many local schools had early dismissal as our schools are not air conditioned and the heat was just too much for staff and students. I have barely left the house since the heatwave started. Our air conditioners are on almost continuously-I can't wait to see the Con Ed bill! I don't have a choice, as my kids are little and I have asthma.

At one point today, my indoor thermometer than measure the outside temperature said 101.4 (and that was at 10:30 this AM). I did take a picture of my old outdoor thermometer, just about touching 100. I hope this early heat wave is not a preview of the kind of summer we will have. Tonight the heatwave is supposed to break, with temps only in the 80s the rest of the week. Last night at 11pM when I went to bed it was 87 degrees! That's just plain crazy!

Here's my thermometer (I have no idea how old it is and yes we need to paint our back awning big time!)

Other people's happiness..

2008-05-29T22:50:00.003-04:00

makes me happy!!! I am so lucky to be part of the coolest adoption board on the internet. I have been a member for almost a year and a half and have met some of the local members. These women are great-helpful, knowledgable, supportive, and caring. I don't know what I would have done without this group!!!

Today was a great day on the board! I woke up, logged on and found that a local member has a son! Her baby due in early July, arrived a few days ago. He came into the world very quickly and is doing great in the NICU! Rights have been terminated so he's theirs forever. Then another close friend and fellow New Yorker lets it be known that her daughter was born yesterday and released from the hospital today and is doing great. I even got to speak to the 2nd time Mom briefly today!! So exciting!! Then, I just read a post from a member who is planning on adopting from her local foster program. They received info on two sisters today during a meeting and long story, THEY HAVE TWO DAUGHTERS. The girls will start visits in a few weeks and transition to their new home! Wow-that's four new ducklings (as we call them) in the pond in just one day!!! That may be a record!

We also had a group of ladies from our board get together for a scrapbooking event. Many drove and flew hundreds of miles to get together and share their love of scrapbooking! It was nice to see pictures of the group!

I also feel good-happy to be helping others. My day started with a call from a friend I went to high school with and a chat about adoption that lasted an hour. I was giving her more info and hints as they are planning on private adoption. I also helped a local couple who are planning on a private, independent adoption by emailing them lots of helpful information, including a copy of our profile.

My calling must be for adoption. I truly get excited hearing good news regarding adoption. I also am very deeply saddenly when my friends have a setback.

I really need to get my act in order and start my adoption assistance business. I can make some money, help people create a family and really make myself happy all at the same time!!

For everyone reading this who thinks that to adopt a baby or child in the US is impossible, it's not. If you take time, do what your attorney tells you and don't give up, you will eventually be a parent. Trust me. Three couples today became parents to four children! Three couples that I personally know are on top of the world tonight!

My baby turns one today!!!

2008-05-20T13:44:00.003-04:00

Happy birthday to my baby girl! I can't believe she's one! That was a fast year! It felt like just yesterday that we were racing up North to meet her. It was surreal and it still is. It has been an exciting, enjoyable year with out new addition. She has brought such joy to our lives, I can't even describe it. She has grown and changed so much!! Happy birthday my princess!

Here is the first picture I took of my daughter, just after meeting her, at about 3 hours old:

Here's a picture of her taken Saturday at a local park (first time on the swings)

Today was like a dream...

2008-05-17T15:36:00.004-04:00

I took my almost one year old to the park today-spur of the moment. The weather was great, a nice Spring day with a light breeze. Nobody was at the park, we had it all to ourselves. I took some beautiful pictures of the stream by the park and then some pictures of my daughter in action. It was her first time on the swings and she loved it!!! She also loved when I held her and she went down the slide. Nothing scares this girl and I wouldn't be surprised if she grows up to be a stuntwoman. She is a daredevil to say the least!!!

Here are some pictures of my wonderful trip to the park with my baby! I never dreamed I would have days like this 7 or 10 years ago with children were so elusive to me! A simple trip to the park was such a powerful experience for me. I enjoyed every single second with her. I breathe in the air and took the whole experience in, the sounds, the sun, her expressions-everything. It was like the ultimate gift!! Every Mom should have days like this!!!

"Not his real daughter"

2008-05-15T14:49:00.006-04:00

My sister often says my youngest daughter looks like Shiloh Jolie Pitt, youngest daughter of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt (at least until those twins come along). I was surfing the net and found pictures of Shiloh when she was turning one to compare to Jenna. There is quite a resemblance and she is almost exactly a year older than my daughter.

Anyway, I mention it to my mother in law and she says "You mean Brad Pitt's real daughter, not the adopted one". That really irked me. Hello! All Brad and Angelina's kids are real-you can see them, touch them and play with them. I guess she meant biological, but the way it came out gave me the impression that the children that were adopted aren't real. I know that's an underlying factor in her thinking. My husband has a cousin who was adopted and she told her sons "that's not REALLY your cousin". Well when they played together, spent holidays together and were raised as cousins-they were cousins-blood related or not. For years my husband and his brother never knew. What difference did it make?? It's the love, not the blood that bonds.

Do they offer adoption education classes for family members? I have a few I could sign up!!! Anyway, here's Shiloh (with her Mom and Z) just around the time she turned one:

Here's a recent picture of Jenna:

I'm no fan of ebay right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-05-10T17:50:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I went to log onto my ebay account and found I am "no longer a registered user" HELLO???? It seems I listed an item that can be delivered electronically under the wrong format-as an auction vs. a classifed ad?? This is a new rule for electronically delivered goods. I think pulling the auction of that one item and giving me a warning would be the right approach. I had things for sale, with bids and everything was pulled down. I can't even log on to check the credit card number I used to pay the rediculous extortion like ebay fees they charge. I am ticked off beyong belief!!

We have people on ebay that bid on hundreds of items and never pay, people trying to sell babies and body parts and people that are committing fraud and they suspend my account for using the wrong format to sell an item??? Come on! I have been selling on ebay almost 11 years and had 2600 positive feedbacks. I'm one of the good guys.

Let's see how long it takes them to review the situation and get back to me. They may or may not decide to reactivate my account. I'm not stupid, I have two other ebay accounts, so I can still bid and sell, but they have nowhere need the positive feedback my main account had.

I am sooo pissed. You have no idea. I was going to ramp up my ebay sales and clean out my basement too! I'll keep you posted.

My new favorite song..Amazing

2008-05-07T09:56:00.003-04:00

I first heard this song on onetruemedia.com and noticed people were picking it as music to their montages. My niece had made a montage to this song as well! The song is Amazing by Janelle (a Christian singer). Every time I hear it, I think of my youngest daughter. Even my older daughter says it reminds her of Jenna. Why didn't this great song get any airplay??? It pretty much brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it. It's so touching and uplifting.

It's hard to find, but I did buy the mp3 from Walmart.com and I think you can find it on limewire. You can also find it on myspace if you look up Janelle and Christian music. Who would expect a girl from NYC to be singing Christian music??? It's a great song, I don't think I will ever get tired of hearing! Have a listen!

Here's her link on myspace:

Amazing by Janelle

One year ago today.......

2008-04-27T22:06:00.001-04:00

I was layed off. I packed my desk and left-upset. Not that I loved my job, but I liked the people there, it was close to home and I feared how it would affect our adoption plans.

A friend of mine who was layed off that day said to me as I walked out the door "One door closes, another one opens. You'll see-something will happen with the adoption". I shook my head. Nothing had been happening in weeks and I now worried about being able to afford ads.

I had tickets to see Grease at a local dinner theatre that night. I did not feel like going, but I already paid for the ticket. I showered, but on my game face and went out with the Moms from Jac's school. It was our ladies night!

In the middle of the play, my cell phone starts lighting up. I'm getting a call from a strange area code - 603-could that be New Hampshire?? We did have an ad running there this week. I could not run out of the theatre to get it, so it went to voicemail. I listened to the message at intermission-it was a very nice sounding woman who wanted to talk to me about our ad in the paper.

The rest is history. How my life changed in one year! Just when I was at my lowwest, I got "the call". Your life can change with one call! April 27th will forever be a special day!

I feel so blessed....

2008-04-26T21:28:00.002-04:00

I feel like the luckiest woman alive. I have two healthy happy children, a husband that loves me and supports me (even when I get these crazy notions) and friends that care about me. I may not be rich in a material sense, but I consider myself very very wealthy for all that I do have.

I feel especially lucky when I think of how just about one year ago, we received a call that would change our lives. We were blessed with a birthmother and situation that was just perfect. A terrific woman wanting to make an adoption plan, driving distance away, a healthy, beautiful baby, only two weeks from first conversation to birth, everything went smoothly legally, we got to stay in a nice New England city with stores and restaurants, the weather was great, our families drove up to see us in the middle of our ICPC wait, it was just perfect. I never dreamed we'd be so lucky. There were days I doubted we would even be chosen.

It scares me to think of the "what ifs". What if she didn't see our ad? What if she didn't have the courage to call us? What if we did not take the chance and commit because we had no medical information on the birthmom? What if the birthmom changed her mind?

Almost a year later and I am still pinching myself that it all happened and happened so smoothly. When I look at my baby, I just want to cry with happiness. She has changed our entire family's outlook. We are complete now, we are happy and not still searching and waiting for a little one to join our family. We feel relief, gratitude, and love.

Our angel was sent to us, just when I was at the end of my rope and tired of dealing with failures, medical issues and fear. She even looks like an angel. I know she was sent to us by God and that we needed her as much as she needed us.

I always say how unlucky I am-never win anything, things don't go my way, etc. It's been over 11 months and I have not complained once about being unlucky. All the material winnings I was thinking of don't matter. I no longer complain-I'm not unlucky....I am BLESSED!

My princess turned 11 months old today!

2008-04-20T19:32:00.009-04:00

Time is just flying by-my baby turned 11 months today! Where has the time gone? My life has really changed in the past year. It's scary how fast time is going by and how quickly the kids are growing!!!

We're planning a one year old birthday party and can't wait to celebrate it! I still pinch myself that it's real and that she is ours. She's a fireball! Full of energy, giggles and smiles! Always on the go, no moss will ever grow under her feet. I can already see she will be the daredevil of the family!!

Here are a few pictures I took today!!! Move over Rachael Ray-here is the Food Networks newest sensation!

It felt so good...

2008-04-18T22:36:00.003-04:00

to visit my friend at the hospital last weekend and see her new baby-and NOT feel bad. I was truly happy for her and for the first time, it was OK for me to walk into the maternity floor and not feel sorry for myself. This was the first time I've had to visit a friend in the maternity ward since our baby has arrived. Trust me-having our baby has made all the difference in the world. I am so happy and so complete now-I can't even describe the feeling. I can go visit new babies, go to baby showers, go to one year old birthday parties, go to baptisms and NOT feel bad!!! For the first time in years, I can enjoy!

This particular friend has an older daughter and her and I were due the same week in 2006. We joked about being in the hospital at the same time. Unfortunately for me, that was my first miscarriage, her daughter will be two this August. Every time I see her toddler, I can't help to think what could have been for me.

Fate and destiny led us to our baby and she was meant to be ours. Everything that happened to me the past few years happened for a reason. She was meant to be our daughter. She is our angel sent from heaven and she (as well as her older sister) make me happy every single day!

Happiness and Sadness.....

2008-04-11T13:06:00.003-04:00

That's what I see when my grandparents visit us. They live 2 miles away and we see them a few times a week. My grandma is 81, but grandpa is 91. He still drives, cooks, cleans up, plays bingo and cards, reads the paper and of course watches his Yankee games. He's in great shape for his age and his mind is as sharp as a tack. His hearing is another story! In November, he had a minor stroke that miracously left him with no side effects. I worry about him a lot. He shuffles his feet more and more and stumbles and I swear a fall will be what brings him down.

I am so happy he got to see my baby. When 2006 brought me two miscarriages and he was 89, I was so afraid he would not be alive to see my 2nd child. It bothered me on a daily basis. Happily he did get to see her and enjoys playing with her. Of his eight great grandchildren, I think she is his favorite. He's in awe of Jenna. On one hand, he is so happy to see her and gets such a kick out of her (she totally plays up to him) and on the other hand, I see a sadness in his eyes. He knows his years are numbered and he won't get to see the kids grown up, graduate college, and get married. Sometimes I am afraid when I say goodbye to them, it could be the last time. We're very close and I will be devastated when they pass.

I guess that's part of growing old-the happiness of experiencing many years of life, but the sadness in knowing that the sun is setting on his life and he won't get to see the newest generation fulfil their dreams. I just let the kids see their great grandparents as often as possible and pray they continue to live relatively healthy lives.

Losing my religion....

2008-04-10T10:47:00.004-04:00

I already lost my religion in June 2007. My Roman Catholic church refused to baptize my baby because she was adopted and the adoption was not finalized. They called the Archdiosese of NY in front of me-as it if made me feel better. They were afraid of getting sued if the birthmother wanted her back. I had papers from my lawyer that stated irrevocable consent had been signed and there was no way we would ever lose custody of our daughter. Her birthmother was Catholic and was happy we were baptizing her. I practically begged-to no avail. The Monsignor told me not to worry, nothing will happen to the baby. I didn't think anything would. My father said they were fishing for a bigger donation. I left the rectory with a deep sense of sadness. Would Jesus have refused to baptize an innocent baby? Why is the baby being punnished-she did nothing wrong. The Catholic church should be more worried about being sued over children being touched and molested by priests! That's the reality!

I was shocked and devastated. I had been attending that church faithfully for 15 years. I contacted the church where I went as a teenager and was married at-they wanted a letter from my parish-so I was back to square one. I contacted another local church that I head baptizes adopted children. They said they would gladly do it. I made the arrangements, did make a donation and was happy to have my daughter baptized at 4 months old instead of a year old, which is how old she would have been had I waited until finalization papers came through. I was so happy. They did not know me from a hole in the wall, I never was a parishioner there, but they were very nice to me. The priest even wore vestments with children on them. It was very important to me that she be baptized at a few months old.

Christmas and Easter have come and gone and I still cannot step foot in my parish. Seeing the Monsignor who refused to baptize her upsets me. My family says I am over reacting. I don't think so. I was was the one who was denied to my face. My dilemma now is what to do? Do I return to my old church and try to get past it? Do I start to attend the church that did baptize my daughter even though it's out of the way? Do I start to research becoming a Protestant?

It's things like this that make Catholics question the church and convert to other religions. People cannot believe it when I tell them they would not baptize her. I have many friends who have had the same problem, while in other parts of NY, adoptive parents can baptize their children whenever they want-even if the adoption is not final.

The Catholic Church needs to be consistent in how they handle baptizing adopted children. For now I have lost my religion and don't know how to find it again. The Pope is coming to my part of NY next week-do I care-NO!

Lia Sophia-I'm on my way!!!

2008-04-06T12:39:00.003-04:00

I'm on my way! I had a great Lia Sophia starter party last Friday night. Over $1,000 in sales and two bookings!!! I earned lots of free jewelry I will use for samples!!!

My first party where I am the advisor is on April 18th and then my next one is April 25th! I'm excited and nervous all at the same time! I met my manager and trained with her on Friday. I received my starter kit and love the sample jewelry they sent me! I went out to Staples and bought some supplies I will need for my business.

I feel like I am really in a good place with this now! I would love to get more bookings lined up and then I would be feeling great. I went around to local supermarkets, post office and laundromats and left flyers I made up on their bulletin board. I have been spreading the news of my new business by word of mouth and so have my friends and family!

I will do everything in my power to make this business successful! I don't want to go back to a 9-5 job. I want to be available for my kids everyday!

Here's my Lia Sophia Website for anyone that wishes to browse! I'm happy to help anyone in Westchester, Putnam, or Dutchess county, NY as well as nearby CT or NJ!

Joanne's Lia Sophia website! www.jewelrybyliasophia.com

It's official-I am a Lia Sophia Advisor!

2008-03-30T21:00:00.003-04:00

Well, I had my starter party on Friday night and it was a big success. Almost $1,000 in sales and orders still coming in and two bookings. I am lucky to have such supportive family and friends! I made up some fliers and will put them up locally on bulletin boards. I also have some other ideas to book parties-that's my main priority now-lining up the parties!!!

I should be getting my starter kit this week and can't wait to see the jewelry in it. I have to call my manager and arrange for some training sessions. I am determined to be successful at this I want to remain a stay at home mother. I don't want to "have to" send my kids to daycare. I know horror stories from personal friends, especially with infants.

I will flaunt my display jewelry and use it as a tool to strike up conversation about Lia Sophia. I know it takes time for a new business to "take off" so I have to tell myself I will keep focused and not give up if I don't see immediate results!

Wish my luck. I am hoping this decision will change my life-for the better!!

Here's my Lia Sophia website-as soon as I get an official LS site, it will appear. For now, I have a temporary site:

Joanne's Lia Sophia website

Have a laugh-Church Bulletin Bloopers...

2008-03-20T21:01:00.002-04:00

They're Back! Those Wonderful Church Bulletins! My favorite it about the Weight Watcher meeting!

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer, 2007 Release).

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing:
"Break Forth Into Joy."
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow..
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday : "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours".

Happy Belated St. Patrick's Day!

2008-03-18T21:41:00.003-04:00

Yesterday we celebrated St. Patrick's Day. We were more excited about it then ever! An Italian family care about St. Pat's Day-since when??? Since our youngest daughter came along!! She is part Irish and we want to make sure we celebrate her heritage with her! About two months ago, I bought her a cute "My first St. Patrick's Day" shirt and then her Godmother gave her a matching bib that says "Kiss me, I'm Irish!" She looked so cute. Unfortunately we did not go out yesterday as my older daughter had a nasty stomach bug. She wore her green shirt, but did not want to be in the pictures-I have to say-she looked as green as the shirt! So without further ado, here are the pictures of my little girl who will be 10 months old in a few days!!!

What's happening to Ebay???

2008-03-08T07:37:00.002-05:00

Ebay is undergoing a lot of changes-not all for the better either! On February 20th, they revamped their auction fees. Charging you less to list, but more if you item sells. I guess it makes it less risky for little sellers like me to list items for sale. But for companies who sell high priced items, it's time to get out!

Portero.com is a local company that sells high end used items-we're talking mink coats, diamonds and even yahts! They have been selling on ebay for years with over 10,000 positive feedback. I went to see what they had for sale and they are no longer selling on ebay. They haven't sold anything there in a month from what I can tell. I went to their site and they are running auctions right from their site, so no more fees to ebay! I can't say I blame them. They were probably selling tens of thousands of dollars worth of items a week. The final fee values were adding up. I don't know if they are getting the exposure they did on ebay, but there stuff is still selling consistently.

I then went to check a few more of my favorite sellers and they either had nothing to sell, or had changed their name. It sounds like, with the price structure changes, a lot of people don't want to sell on ebay. There are not many choices. Other auction sites may be free or lower cost, but you don't get the traffic and volume of ebay.
I loved Yahoo auctions and then it closed this summer. There is definitely a need for a major auction site to replace the ailing and failing ebay.

Just wait-in May some major feedback changes are coming that has everyone in an uproar. Sellers can't leave buyers any feedback but positive! Gee that sounds fair. I sell something, you buy it and never pay me and I have to leave postive feedback??
Someone needs to fix Ebay soon, before it tanks!!!

She wore a raspberry beret.....

2008-02-29T14:32:00.006-05:00

the kind you buy in 2nd hand store. That's all I could think of yesterday when my daughter had this outfit and beret on! She looked so cute, I just had to post this picture. I even got a smile out of her. She smiles often-just not for the camera!!! Really-she is a happy child!

Happy Leap year everyone!!! You can only say this once every four years!

I've decided to sell.....Lia Sophia

2008-02-28T15:29:00.002-05:00

After analyzing both direct sales jewelry companies to death, I finally decided last night to go with Lia Sophia! I feel really good about my decision and the woman I signed up under is terrific. My starter show is March 30th at my house. I have lots of other friends I want to invite, so I may have a 2nd show on my own in late April.

What led me to choose Lia Sophia is the name of the company is known, the quality of the jewelry is better than other direct sales jewelry companies and the cost to start is much more "doable". Lia Sophia costs $149 and I can sell my kit back if after a few shows, it's not working out for me. Premier Designs was going to run me about $1200 to start. I want to recruit and getting ladies to cough up over $1000 makes recruiting very difficult.

I have some terrific ideas on how to book shows and get new customers, and I can't wait to hit the ground running!!!! I'm very psyched!!! Here's to being another Lia Sophia success story!!!

Just a plug for my friends hoping to adopt...

2008-02-27T14:27:00.002-05:00

Just a friendly plug for my adoption buddies, hoping to adopt independently very soon! If you look to the right side of my blog, you will see links to their adoption websites. These couples are homestudy ready and waiting to adopt. I hope you keep them in mind if you know of a woman thinking of placing her baby for adoption in the near future. They are all wonderful couples who will make (or already are) terrific parents.

I am always hoping to help friends adopt. I was successful in directly helping one couple, who are friends of ours in the fall of 2007. I wish I could help them all.
I do what I can. If I could personally match each and every one of them I could. I love nothing more than to help people and make them happy! Even words of advice or encouragement to my adoption buddies are appreciated when things seem rough. Folks who adopt independently face lots of challenges on their road to becoming parents. Phone calls in the middle of the night, checking ads in newspapers only to find it ran with a mistake, placing ads and hoping for the best, dealing with scammers, etc. It's a lot and it can get stressful. It's all worth it in the end. When your son or daughter is placed in your arms, everything bad that happened to you along the way disappears and all that remains is happiness. Some potential adoptive parents get discouraged and give up on their dream-don't! You will be parents AS LONG AS YOU DON'T GIVE UP!!!!

Help these couples become FAMILIES!

Angie's sporting a bump

2008-02-25T08:49:00.003-05:00

Seems undeniable. Pictures of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt at Saturday's 2008 Film Independent Spirit awards conceal nothing. It seems pretty obvious one (or two) babies are on the way! She looks great, why not just go public??? End the speculation and tell us?? I know there may be health reasons or concerns with the pregnancy, but when you are one of the most public figures in the world-there is nothing you can hide. My gut feeling is that they wanted to adopt more kids, but being an unmarried couple is hindering that, so they are growing their family the good old fashioned way!

Here's a picture from February 23rd-you be the judge!

My little fireball turns 9 months old!

2008-02-20T19:33:00.004-05:00

Today we celebrated a mini birthday of sorts-my little fireball, as we call her turned 9 months old today!! I can't believe 9 months have passed so quickly! Tomorrow she goes for her checkup-so we will find out her height, weight and she will get a few dreaded shots!

My sweetie had a great day today-she visted her aunt and uncle and played with her cousins. She also saw grandma and grandpa, Uncle Lou and great grandma and great grandpa. The funniest part of the visit was when she was in her walker. My sister's dog, who is a shi tsu was sniffing her in her walker. She loved him. Finally, she just reached out and pet him. It was so cute and she was in no way afraid. I wish I had my camera! She was fascinated by the dog! I played with my neices Wii for the first time too! It was interesting-but I like real sports better!

Here's my sweetie on the couch and taking control of the remote! It's hard to get a picture of her-she never sits still anymore!

Deciding between direct sale jewelry companies

2008-02-19T13:04:00.002-05:00

I have been considering doing direct jewelry sales for a while. I am deciding between Lia Sophia and Premier Designs and I really need to talk to each of my contact at both companies before I make a final decision. Both companies have positive and negatives. I guess it just comes down to my decision based on all the information I have gathered!

I have no problem with public speaking and feel I can do a good job of putting on a show. I know lots of women who like to wear good costume jewelry and don''t mind investing the money in a few good pieces. I enjoy wearing some nice costume jewelry and I can be my own model when I am out and about! Having shows at night or on the weekends works for me-I don't have to pay for babysitting. These jewelry companies do carry the potential to make a lot of money, some women are making 6 figures. I will be happy if I can make a few thousand a month!

I am excited, but undecided about which company to join! I hope to make a decision soon!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

2008-02-14T15:03:00.007-05:00

Not a very insightful post today-just wanted to mark Valentine's Day and share a few pictures I took of the girls this morning. That's the great thing about girls-you can buy pink and red outfits with hearts and it's OK!

We are so happy this year to be celebrating this Valentine's day with our two forever Valentine's-our daughters!!!!

Sad story-Mom leaves baby in trash at hospital restroom!

2008-02-13T19:51:00.002-05:00

Here's a sad but true story that happened in Texas. A woman leaves her two kids home alone. She comes to the hospital with a scissor, delivers a baby in the restroom of the ER and dumps it. You are in a hospital-at least carry the baby to the ER for treatment. The baby was 6 weeks early, but he would have had a chance with immediate treatment. Thank goodness a custodian found him! He's now fighting for his life and is on life support as the mother appeared in court today. What's wrong with people. She is now lying and telling people she didn't know she was pregnant-she already had two kids-I think she knows what pregnancy feels like! This baby is a life, a person. I know 20 couples that would have adopted him in a heartbeat. You were feet away from the ER ward, carry him there and get him treatment. What kid of a person would throw a baby in the trash like garbage. We have safehaven laws for infants in all 50 states. A hospital is a safehaven! What kind of a world do we live in??? This makes adoptive parents like us cringe, knowing how much you treasure a baby's life, while others discard it like yesterday's news. Here's the newspaper article:

Mom leaves baby in restroom trash!

A sad week for me...

2008-02-08T19:16:00.000-05:00

I know I should be happy and overall I am. This week is a tough week. Two years ago today, I found out the baby I was carrying had no heartbeat. It was the first of two back to back miscarriages. I was 9 1/2 weeks pregnant and everything had been going so well. My doctor even got approval for the C section I was going to be having at the end of August, 2006. I had been having very sharp abdominal pains on February 7th and 8th and decided to see the OBGYN. I never in a million years suspected I had a miscarriage. I didn't even bring my husband with me. I cried for days, my eyes were swollen for a week.

I scheduled a D&C on February 10th. I wanted to get it over with and move on. I didn't want to wait for the inevitable to happen. I was too scared. I couldn't believe it was happening and actually went to the office the day before the D&C and asked them to check again to see if there was a heartbeat. I was grasping at straws, but wanted to make sure they were right before I had the procedure.

Weeks later I would find out that the baby was a girl and had a chromosonal abnormality which caused the miscarriage. It was Turner's Syndrome (also known as 45X), a common cause for miscarriage and it occurs in female fetuses that are missing an X chromosome. The news brought me little comfort.

My gut said the baby was a girl right from the beginning and I was right. I immediately pictured this little girl with big black eyes and jet black hair-but she was not meant to be.

My future held other plans for me. A little more than a year after this tragedy struck, fate had intervened and had a very beautiful blonde haired, blued eyed angel was waiting for me-my daughter. Her adoption is a story of fate, destiny and love. I believe my lost angels helped her find me so quickly so that I can start to heal. We believe she was conceived on the day our lost angel would have been born. Jenna's birthday is exactly 9 months after my angel was due.

Last year was very hard-it was the first year after it happened and I was no closer to a 2nd child. This year, I am thrilled to say I am a mother of two girls, but I can't say the loss still doesn't hurt. It does, just a tiny tiny bit less then the year before. As long as I live I will never forget my lost angels. A little part of me will always hurt. I believe I will see my lost angels one day in heaven. I can't wait to see if they look like what I pictured them to.

This song reminds me of my angels-I still cry every time I listen to it-LeeAnn Rimes-Probably Wouldn't be this way:

Angelina Jolie pregnant????

2008-02-07T10:13:00.000-05:00

Well according to every major tabloid magazine this week-she is-with TWINS none the less. No confirmation of this from her or her spokesperson. So I guess we will just want and see. You can't always believe internet rumors and rag magazine headlines-can you?

I do have to say....I just watched in interview of Angelina Jolie on CNN talk about a trip she is taking to Iraq to help with the Iraqi refugee problem. She does have that certain glow! Most of the shots were head and shoulders and in some parts of the interview, over the shoulder. Her clothes were rather loose fitting. If I had to take a guess, I would agree-she LOOKS pregnant-her face does anyway! Wearing that one very loose, flowing dress to an awards ceremony last week really started up the rumor mill.

I'm sure the media will be relentless on her every move and every outing with Brad Pitt and family, as usually. Whatever the case, she gets involved with what she believes in and acts as a goodwill ambassador. If she wants to add one, two or three new kids to her family in 2008-great for her! She is one of the coolest adoptive Moms out there.