The Pursuit of Happyness!

First of all, Happy New Year! I hope 2009 brings good health and happiness to all my friends!!! We are ringing in 2009 rather quietly this year. A snowstorm, cold weather and high winds have diverted our plans. Rather than going to dinner and having my in laws watching the kids, we choose to stay home. I cooked a Ravioli dinner and my older daughter and I made brownies. We're making a little party out of it!

Today I realized total bliss. My two girls were playing together and laughing. They were riding little cars up and down the hallway (in our house, none the less). Just to see them finally interacting together and laughing, warmed my heart and made me feel like the luckiest woman alive. Since I was a little child, I dreamed of being a mother of two, and watching them play together and enjoy each other as siblings. I know with a gap of four plus years between my kids, it might take time for that to happen, but today, I could say it really did for the first time. There were days when I thought I would never have one child, let alone two. To see them play together today was priceless.

Ten or even twenty years ago, a good New Year's Eve was going out to a fancy restaurant for dinner, drinking up a storm, partying till the wee hours of the morning, booking a hotel room for the night, dressing up in our best clothes. Now a good New Year's Eve is home with the kids, eating snacks, watching them play and watching Shrek on TV. Our lives have really changed-I know for the better!

I never knew the simple things in life could make me so happy! For those of you pursuing adoption, I hope 2009 is the year you welcome a little one to your home. Do not give up your pursuit of happyness! Here is a picture of my girls playing today...thanks for allowing me to indulge.

Busy, busy, busy thanks to the Holidays!

The holidays are right at our heels. I have all my presents bought and 99% of them wrapped. I am in pretty good shape this year and spend the next couple of days doing odds and ends for the holidays!

I can't find a couple of presents (hope they turn up), I bought them and misplaced them! I have a couple of holiday parties to go to. I hope to make some cookies with my older daughter. All in all, nothing I can't handle!

It snowed yesterday and it's going to snow again tomorrow. I know it helps some people get into the spirit, but I am not a fan of snow. Good thing my shopping is all done! I guess I should start thinking about Florida or Arizona now! LOL!

Here's our holiday card! I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season and that 2009 brings peace, good health and prosperity to all!

"A home for the Holidays" adoption special airs 12/23

Be sure to tune in to this annual special which airs on CBS on Tuesday 12/23 at 8 PM Eastern time. I will tune in with my kleenex!

http://www.washingt onpost.com/ wp-dyn/content/ article/2008/ 12/11/AR20081211 02242.html

Stars Align for Adoption

By Susan C. Young Special to The Washington Post
Sunday, December 14, 2008; Y03

Faith Hill watched the TV monitor as the story unfolded of one child's journey from foster care to a loving home, then walked out on the stage to sing "There You'll Be" and instantly choked up with tears.

"Oh, mercy. I had to start over, which never happens," Hill said about her experience taping this year's CBS holiday special on adoption. "As an adopted child, I really have a place in my soul for these children. You'd have to be made of wood not to feel the emotional impact of these stories."

Hill's husband, Tim McGraw, as well as Melissa Etheridge, Jamie Foxx and Gavin Rossdale, are among the performers featured on "The 10th Annual A Home for the Holidays With Faith Hill," airing Tuesday.

Musical performances and personal stories from celebrities frame segments focusing primarily on families who have appeared on the holiday show during the past decade.

One segment tells the story of Frederick Millner of Santa Clarita, Calif., who stayed in foster care until he was 18. Millner, who with his wife adopted a young boy in foster care, said, "I tell my son how much I love him every day. There was always an outline to my life, but my wife and son are the light that has filled the darkness."

These heart-tugging segments even affected the hard-rocking Etheridge.

"I ended up in tears by the end of the show," said Etheridge, who adopted her four children. "TV can be so cynical and stale, but every year this program reaches out and you see the results and see those children getting adopted. . . . It's a total 10-hankie show."

Betsy and David Miles of Richmond, who adopted 9-year-old Katy, recount how they were asked to consider a 14-year-old boy, Haisten, as a temporary placement. (The average age for foster care adoption is 8, and older children are often harder to place.) The couple eventually adopted Haisten.

Older children aren't as appealing to people who want to adopt, said Hill, 41, who was adopted as an infant. "It's easy to forget in this world of excess, shock value and getting the most bang for the buck that the simplest things in life are the ones most valued," Hill said.

"A Home for the Holidays" is presented by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, which was established in 1992 by the late Thomas, the founder of Wendy's restaurants, who also was an adopted child.

In the United States foster care system, about 129,000 children are eligible for adoption, according to a January report by the Department of Health and Human Services.

This may be the result of misconceptions about adopting foster children, including the idea that they are more likely to be juvenile delinquents, said Rita Soronen, executive director of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

"That couldn't be further from the truth. These are kids who had a rough start in life and need a supportive family," Soronen said. "And there's a lingering sense that the biological families can reclaim these children, but that's not true."

For some, it seems as though a program such as this puts children on parade for the holidays. But Soronen said the holiday-themed special just nudges people into making a commitment they've probably been considering for some time.

As Hill talked about her own Christmas plans -- spending time with family and friends, baking cookies -- her husband chimed in from the background that they'll be watching football. After a quick laugh, she said this is what she wants for these foster children -- the kind of family she has now, and the family she had growing up.

"I was always very grateful that I had my family -- my two brothers and my parents, who now have been married for 52 years," she said.

Hill and McGraw's children -- Gracie, 11, Maggie, 10, and Audrey, 7 -- know their mom was adopted and their father was raised by a stepfather who adopted him.

"We never forget that there are children who don't have families, who have to move from one location to another, never sure if they will get pulled out of a situation," Hill said. "This program makes the gap smaller between people who want to adopt and the children who are waiting to find a permanent home."

"A Home for the Holidays" airs Tuesday at 8 p.m. on CBS.

Where are women considering adoption looking for adoptinve parents?

I can't figure out where women are looking, when it comes to finding adoptive parents for the baby they are carrying. I thought adoptions were an even split between networking, newspaper ads and online matches. It seems that networking still is the most common way for a birthmother to find adoptive parents, at least that's what my adoption attorneys say.

Since Parent profiles no longer accepts NY families (and CA families), where do women search when considering finding adoptive parents? I can tell you first hand that these online adoption sites that couples are paying good money too every month are not working. I look at my clients stats online and they ARE NOT getting hits from these paid sites. It's pretty much a waste of money (and hope)! Newspaper ads are expensive, but do produce some results.

I still believe you have to network though brochures, adoption cards, letters, email, social networking and in person networking. Don't be afraid to network again in 3-6 months.

Another family created!

Well, this week brought good news. A friend of mine and her husband have adopted a baby boy born earlier this week. They had a rocky road that included a failed adopted earlier in 2009. This baby was due a few weeks ago and I think everyone was getting antsy! Paperwork will be signed soon and they are very excited.

They are such a wonderful couple and will make excellent parents. We met because this summer I their networking adoption card in my local cultural center. I emailed them to offer my support and wish them luck. She lives in another part of NY, but a relative who lives near me actually put the card up. We struck up an online friendship and were emailing almost daily with the latest on their adoption journey. October proved to be lucky for them, when they were picked by the birthparents of their son.

A few weeks ago, I went to an adoption conference and they were the first to greet me when I walked in the door! I got to talk to the new Mom today who sounded more excited than anything else! I can't wait to see pictures of their new arrival.

Just another example of how perseverance never fails and it is all worthwhile in the end! They baby that was meant to be theirs is now their son!

Sunday's APC Adoption conference was amazing!

I can't tell you how much I enjoyed the annual APC Adoption conference in NYC this past Sunday. As soon as I walked in the door, I was greeted by a friend I made online a few months ago, but had not met in person. It was so nice to get a warm greeting from her and her husband and to finally meet her in person. They are hopeful adoptive parents!

I went to a few adoption workshops and ended up speaking on a panel in one session. I met some online friends I never met before, my attorneys were there, a few of my clients were there and I made a few great contacts with couples hoping to adopt as well as attorneys interested in my services. I took lots of notes and tried to absorb as much information as possible. There was so much out there, it would have been easy to be overwhelmed. It's very valuable information and really is a must attend for anyone in the NYC area who is considering adoption, is in the process or has already adopted-whether domestically or internationally. Mark your calendars APC members, it's always the Sunday before Thanksgiving!

I have to say I was especially proud of myself for finding my way down to Cornell Weill Medical college in NYC and back without getting lost! LOL!

I have been so busy this week doing things for my current clients! It scares me to think this business could explode and be more than I can handle! Right now I am OK, but it can get crazy soon. I don't mind it at all, but the advertising can get challenging as everyone has different budgets and many want the same type of child and want to advertise in the same states. I will not put two of my clients in the same paper at the same time. I'm enjoying the creative parts the most, having just made a website for my clients-which they really like. I can do that kind of work any time of the day too! I guess I should feel blessed that after just a few weeks, I have clients and more signing on!

Kids say the funniest things...

I love volunteering at my older daughter's school. I do it a few times a month, but once a month, I get to work in the school store. For 1/2 hour, kids get to come down to the school store with their money and buy items like erasers, pencils, notebooks, etc. They are so cute-they are five to seven years old and come down with their money.

I helped one girl who couldn't decide, pick out $1.50 worth of items. She paid with two dollars. I gave her 50 cents change and started helping the next little customer. She starts to walk out, turns around and says to me "You could keep this as a tip!" I totally did not expect it. I started to smile, wondering how and where she thought of that one. I told her-"Thank you, but you should keep it and put it in your piggy bank". She really wanted to tip me. She was adorable to boot! I guess her parents are good tippers. When I told my family and friends, they were hysterical. It's one of those cute stories I will remember forever!

I hope all those who become parents through adoption, get to experience events like this as well! It makes being a parent so worth it!!

We are one of many "Blended" families

I consider us a blended family. Not in the "Brady Bunch" sense in that our family came together as a result of children from a previous marriage, but because our children are a mix of biological and adopted. It's actually more common then you think. I have many adoption friends who also have blended families as a result of infertility or secondary infertility.

At times it's hard and I feel like all eyes are on us and how we raise our daughters. I really have to treat them equally and do everything fair and square. It's hard because they are different age groups. I try not to favor one over the other, we try to spend equal amounts of money on Christmas and birthday present, etc. It's a challenge for any parent to be "even steven" all the time with their kids. As life goes on, kids will have different needs, whether they be emotional or otherwise and at certain times of their lives it may appear as if you are "giving more" or spending more time with one child over the other. I just feel because one of my daughters is adopted and the other biological, the magnifying glass is really on us, more so than a family with two adopted children or two biological children.

We do the best we can and do treat them and love the equally. I don't really think of them on two separate planes-to me they are just both my daughters. I love my older daughter because I can look at her and see a little bit of myself. I wonder what traits of mine and my husband she will have. On the other hand, I look at my youngest daughter with love and admiration. She is beautiful and already has a spitfire personality. She will be different and break the mold of our cautious family and for that I am glad. I am lucky to have the "Best of both worlds" as Hannah Montana would say, and will continue to strive to treat them equally and make sure they grow up with memories of a happy childhood!

We need to find families for children in foster care...

There is a real need in the United States to find permanent loving homes for those thousands of children in foster care. The foster care system really can use some revision. Some of the policies are outdated and make it prohibitive to adopt children.

One big factor is risk. Even in cases where unification with a parent is a longshot, the children can be legally unavailable for years. People are afraid to have a child live with them for a year or two or more, only to lose them back to a biological parent that in some cases, the child really would rather not go back to. All relatives are considered as potential parents for the child in foster care, leaving adoptive parents even more at risk of losing the children they are attached to.

Another big problem is that many kids are part of a sibling group and that mean mean adopting two or more kids simultaneously, which is a lot to handle. Bad press and false information about foster kids having "problems" or "issues" or "getting into trouble" also holds potential adoptive parents back from pursuing foster adoption. The older the kids are, the more homes they have been in and out of and the harder it is for them to adjust to a new life in a family. An adoptive family will need lots of time and patience to help their new son or daughter adapt to a new family, new home, new school, new everything.

I know one foster mother who had children of her own and only started to be a foster mother as an occupation. She would foster as many as eight pre teens and teens at a time and collect a nice monthly check-as if she full time job. The problem is-she never cared about the kids. Didn't care what they did, where they went or if they had dinner that night. I have a problem with that, as did her own daughter. It wasn't easy for her to share her parents with dozens of kids, get attached to them and suddenly find they are leaving. She had a very negative view of the foster care system for allowing her own parents to work the system like that. You don't become a foster parent to earn a payheck-you do it to help a child, either permanently or temporarily and treat them as IF THEY WERE YOUR OWN. I don't even agree that money should be give monthly to foster parents. I think, if anything a very small stipend should be given and scholarships should be available to the child upon graduation from high school. Let these children have a chance at a real future, without worrying about where tuition money will come from.

Foster care adoption shouldn't only be for married couples. Open it up to singles and same sex couples. If they can complete a homestudy successfully, and provide financially and emotionally for a child, I don't think restrictions such as marital status, age, or sexual orientation should prohibit them.

My heart breaks to see so many children out there wanting permanent homes. People so unwillng to take the chances and risks to help them. The system needs to be revised so that it better serves the needs of these children and finds permanent loving homes for them more quickly.

November is national adoption month and I hope changes are being considered to the foster care system so that more children may find their foverever homes!

An alternative to traditional adoption...

Is embryo adoption or Embryo donation. If a woman's body can endure a pregnancy and carry it to term, maybe an embryo adoption may be something to consider.

Hundreds of thousands of embryos are sitting in storage, with decisions needing to be made about their fate. Couples that decide their family is complete, but have viable embryos stored opt to help other couples (or single women) in their quest to be parents. The couple whose embryos are stored picks the couple that will "adopt" the embryo and one or more will be implanted in the adoptive Mom. Assuming the procedure works, she may be pregnant with one or more babies that will be fully biologically related to the couples other child or children.

The adoptive Mom doesn't necessary have to tell people casual acquaintances what's going on, she can just let everyone know she is pregnant. She gets to experience a pregnancy and know she is taking excellent care of herself during the pregnancy. She gets to give birth and bring the baby home. It's a unique and amazing process to experience adoption and pregnancy almost simultaneously.

Couples storing embryos are usually middle to upper class people with good jobs and financial stability, therefore the babies that result come from desirable backgrounds and education level. I think it's an amazing way to change a couple's life and may be a viable alternative to traditional adoption. Check this website for more information or you can look up "embryo donation" or "embryo adoption" on the internet.

http://www.nightlight.org/snowflakeadoption.htm

Happy Election Day....

I hope everyone got out there and voted today. I know voter turnout was good all over the country and that shows you how much interest there is in this election. I think this presidential election will make history, change history and lead our country in a new and better direction.

I remember feeling like this in the fall of 1992. I voted for Bill Clinton and in the eight years he was in office, I found a very good job, get great raises, afforded to buy a condo, saved money, went on vacations, and was financially sound financially sound. I never dreamed all these things I hoped for would come together so soon-really by 1996, our lives and finances had turned around. I got married at 23 (in 1992). By the time I was 30, I had accomplished a lot and was leading a very financially stable life. The last eight years have been horrible. I have been layed off twice, we watched our 401K and stocks sink, while our food, utilities, gas and oil bills have skyrocketed. Raises are few and far between and my husband's health care plan for our family sets us back $550 a month. I have been out of work 18 months and even with my skills, can't find a job, unless I want to take a 20K pay cut, which I am not willing to do. I am not alone, every day I hear of someone else layed off and worried about their future. Foreclosures left and right in my county. It's sad that the last eight years have been so insecure for many people.

It's time for change-a change for the better-like Celine Dion said "A New Day has come". The economy will change, the stock market will bounce back, home values will rise again, the job outlook will get better, foreclosure rates will slow down, banks will stabilize, but it's going to take YEARS to get everything back on track. Be patient and look towards the future.

November-change your clocks & Adoption Awareness month!

It's November already, Halloween is over, but the candy is still lingering in our house. The retail stores have skipped Thanksgiving and went straight to Christmas!

I hope you all remembered to change your clocks back (unless you live in Alaska or Arizona!). I didn't get an hour more sleep-the kids just got up an hour earlier! LOL! I am so glad we now change our clocks the Sunday after Halloween-I have been saying we should do this for 15 years, so kids have an hour more of daylight when trick or treating! Finally in 2007, we started springing forward in March and Falling back in early November!

November is adoption awareness month! This is a great month to learn more about adoption. There are thousands of children of all ages around the United States that need homes. Especially older children, sibling groups and children with disability. Maybe adopting a child through the foster care system is something to think about! All it takes is love and caring!

Visit The Child Welfare Information Gateway by clicking here!

Happy Halloween to everyone!

I hope everyone is having a great Halloween. It's a beautiful 60 degree fall day here in NY. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays! I have fond memories of dressing up, having Halloween parties and trick or treating in my NYC neighborhood! We used to bob for apples at our Halloween parties-now that I think of it, it was really unsanitary to do that! Oh well, we were having fun!!

For those of you who are parents, enjoy the day with your little ones! For those of you who are not yet parents, I hope next year you are celebrating with a little pumpkin of your own!

Here are pictures of my pumpkins taken the other day! My older daughter is a ballerina and my younger daughter-a fuzzy chick/duck!

She looks like herself

Last week a friend and I were having lunch at a local diner and trying to catch up. My 17 month old was with us and being quite vocal. The waitress was a middle aged woman who thought she was just adorable and went on and on how cute she looked. Then she started to ask me "Is she your daughter?" and I said she was. Then the conversation started to turn to-she doesn't look like you-who does she look like? She kept insisting that she didn't look at all like me. I didn't want to lie and start making up that she looks like other people in the family.

My friend, who is a grandma, and a middle aged woman was getting more frustrated than I was. Finally SHE SAID "She looks like herself!". I agreed saying "she's a one of a kind!". My friend chimes in "Your nieces are total opposite in looks-one dark haired and dark eyed and the other blond hair, blue eyes" She was right. She seemed almost more offended by it than I was. I am open about my daughter's adoption to friends, neighbors and family, but I don't feel that people like restaurant staff, cashiers and people I will interact with for a few moments of my entire life, need to know she is adopted. Maybe the waitress suspected it, but I think it was wrong of her to really question me over and over again about who she looks like!

My sister looks Italian and my older niece looks Irish and German like her Dad and has light hair, freckles and very blue eyes. People have outright asked my sister if her daughter was "really hers" or if she was adopted. Does every father and son have to look alike? Does every mother and daughter? Genes do blend. Kids can resemble grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.

So, here's a tip for adoptive parents and future adoptive parents. You don't have to disclose your child's adoption to EVERYONE. You pick and choose who you want to know about it. Think of ways to answer awkward questions like this-so you are prepared. At some point, they will come up. People say the dumbest things sometimes. People say the dumbest things a lot of times!

Adoption scammers-why do they do it?

Why would someone pretend to be pregnant and lead a couple to believe she wanted them to adopt her baby? Good question! Dr. Phil did a show on this last year. My phone was flooded with calls from concerned relatives and friends as we were in the middle of advertising when the show aired.

We did meet up with a scammer-she led us along for two months and I am quite sure she had done it before. By the third phone call, I did not believe her. I had done some internet research on this woman from a small town in Arkansas and I knew she was lying, but never let her know my suspicions. She never did provide my lawyer with proof of pregnancy. Then I pushed the envelope. I said my husband and I wanted to fly down one weekend and meet her. All of a sudden, her ex boyfriend was back in the picture and they were raising the baby-just like that. I never heard from her again. Amazing huh? She probably moved onto a new couple. Although no money changed hands-it was costly. All the hours she and I talked to my attorney at $250 an hour, all the paperwork fedexed back and forth that she never filled out, and that slight, false hope we had, that maybe, just maybe, she really was pregnant.

These scammers are not out for the money, they love the attention. They may be lonely and lacking self confidence. They may even be mentally ill. They like knowing they are important to hopeful adoptive parents. Some will carry it really far and send fake sonograms and medical reports. They really are out to hurt others and need counseling desperately.

Emotional scammers pray on adoptive parents, more so, couples that are adopting independently, but some are known to even fool adoption agencies. Unfortunately, once this happens to you, it breaks your trust and you tend to doubt every call you get from an potential birthmother-your guard is definitely up.

Depending on the severity and if money was taken, scammers can be prosecuted and spend time in jail. It doesn't take away the pain a couple feels after having their hopes dashed that soon they would be parents.

If you doubt the birthmother you spoke to is really pregnant, let your adoption attorney do some investigating for you. Sometimes they can call other lawyers and find out if she has been telling the same or similar stories to other couples. Also, check the adoption scam sites, although scammers frequently used different names, email addresses and locations. Beware, be careful, but don't lose faith in the process-it does work!

Here are a couple of great adoption scam sites, you should check frequently:

http://www.adoptionscams.net/

http://www.abcadoptions.com/scams.htm

Creating an adoption profile

Creating an adoption profile can be tricky. It takes time, and it's best to work on it a little at a time, as opposed to trying to sit down and write it all at once. The good news is, it will probably closely resemble your adoption website, so the work you are doing will save you time when you create your adoption website.

Microsoft word is a good way to create your profile. It's not easy to get backgrounds to look good though. Writing text and inserting pictures is easy enough though. If you are savvy with adobe photoshop or a card creating software, like Greeting Card Deluxe Factory 2, you can get better results. It's not easy to work with more advanced software, but the results are much more pleasing, at least to the eye! You don't want to make your profile so hi tech looking that it's difficult to read or intimidating. You want it to look nice, since it may be your first impression and you never get a second chance to make a first impression. I DO NOT recommend handwriting a profile and attaching pictures, please find someone who can type it up for you, once you have written out what you want it to say.

Write in simple, straightforward language, you can't assume potential birthparents will understand you if start using complex words and phrases. Use a font that is easy to read and large enough to be read without difficulty. Pick out and include pictures of you with your partner, extended family, and friends. Include pictures of you doing things you like to do. Make it have a personal feel. After reading the profile, a potential birthparent should feel like that got a good glimpse into your life.

Finally, make sure you print out the profile on a decent quality color printer. I recommend keeping the original printout and taking it to office max, staples or some other place that can do color copies at a reasonable price. Make a few copies of your entire profile and keep them on hand to give to potential birthparents. You can always make more from the originals if needed.

If you find that creating a profile is too complex, and need help, or your you can contact me through my business website for assistance at a reasonable price. Remember, your adoption profile is like a resume and yours must stand out to increase your chances of being picked by potential birthparents.

Called to adoption? NY Jets Jerricho Cotchery was!

I was called to adoption. I can't explain it, but it happened at a young age. I always felt I had some higher purpose in life and I do believe helping people adopt is it. I can't even describe it, but I feel I have a gift and I have to share it with others. I will not change the world, I'm not going to cure cancer and I won't end global warming, but I hope to change the lives of some families who hope and pray for a child to join their family through the miracle of adoption. It's a small task in the universe, but to those I help, it means the world. Jerricho Cotchery shares my call to adoption-for him it happened overnight, for me it was just engrained in me and grew as I got older.

I just read an interesting article about NY Jets #89 Jerricho Cotchery. His is not only a hero on the field, but off the field-to his one year old daughter adopted in September 2007. You can read more about his interesting story and the Cotchery's bumpy road to adoption. They hope to adopt again!

Jerricho Cotchery

Adoption and the economy...

It's not new news that the economy is in terrible shape and a recession has already started. The stock market is falling, jobs are hard to get, unemployment is raising and the cost of living is far exceeding any kind of raises people are earning. Does the tough economy result in more babies being placed for adoption within the US? Are couples or women who are pregnant facing such a difficult time financially that they have no option then to place their baby for adoption?

I think, (and this is my personal opinion) that the US may see a SLIGHT increase in the number of babies placed for adoption as a result of the economy. During the great depression, it wasn't uncommon for people to drop off children at orphanages because they could not longer afford to feed and care for them. I don't envision things getting that bad, but I think the economy may make adoption an option to be considered for more women than we have seen in recent years.

On the flip side, many couples hoping to adopt may not have the funds available. Stocks and 401Ks that they were depending on to pay for adoption are now worth about half of what they were last year. Home equity lines of credit and personal loans are not so easy to get. The lack of availability of funds and uncertainty about their own financial future, may force some couples to hold off on adoption or not to pursue adoption at all-simply because they can't afford it. Even the tax incentives offered by the government are not nearly enough to cover most domestic adoptions.

In the end, everything will balance out-it always does. Slightly less couples may be hoping to adopt and slightly more babies may be placed for adoption. Hopefully this means that couples are matched sooner and that wait times for both agency and independent adoption are reduced. We can hope!

Independent adoption is on the rise...shifts in adoption trends

With much uncertainty over international adoption, domestic adoption is on the rise. 20,000 babies and children who would have entered the US and joined US families are now stuck in their native countries due to changes in the process and the slowing down of many popular international adoption programs, like China and Russia. It's truly a shame that children are spending time in orphanages when they could have been in their forever homes, being loved and part of a family.

With that said, the demand for domestic adoption has risen sharply in the last year. I noticed a shift in early 2008. Many adoption agencies have far more families registered than they have in previous years, some are no longer accepting new families and wait times have grown. Many who want to be proactive about adoption are turning to independent adoption, hoping to adopt sooner and avoid long wait times many agencies are advising clients.

I often go online and check some classifieds to see how many adoption ads they are running. Many papers who had no ads for weeks or months at a time, now have ads frequently and sometimes more than one ad running at a time. This just proves to me that more couples are turning to independent adoption as means to adopt a baby in a shorter timeframe. I am amazed at how many adoption ads are running in little known newspapers. Couples are really pulling out all the stops.

Another reason for heavy newspaper adoption advertising in New York is that Parent Profiles, a top site for hopeful adoptive parents going the independent route, is no longer accepting New York couples for legal reasons. In April of 2007, when we signed up for parent profiles, there were about 80 couples from New York on the site-the other day there were 13. It was mind boggling last year to see so many couples. I felt the competition was too heavy and too fierce. Of course shortly after I committed to spending $600 with parent profiles, our daughter's birthmother contacted us-through a newspaper ad!

Parentprofiles.com was the premier site for the last 10 years or so for hopeful adoptive parents. There are many more sites where hopeful adoptive parents can post a picture and link to your adoption website, but they are smaller and less known.

The shifts in adoption trends are event. My next post will talk about how the economy is affecting adoption.

Adoption and infterility...

Adoption efforts can be severely hampered if you are not emotionally over infertility. I have known some people who adopted, because they wanted to. They could have a baby, those CHOSE to adopt. They are usually very committed to the process. They are eager and ready to adopt.

I find that people (both men and women) who have not put infertility issues aside, are not mentally ready to adopt. They go through the motions, they fill out the paperwork, get their homestudy done, etc. Then they don't do what they need to to keep the process going. They drag their feet creating a profile, creating an adoption website, getting networking cards, etc. The drive is just not there because the are not 100% fully committed to adoption. Maybe they will get pregnant this month and they won't have to go through all this to have a baby. Maybe that's not a possibility, but they haven't completely come to terms with infertility. I know, that was me in 2001-2002. I was "living in two worlds". Each month hoping to get pregnant and each month passing with me dragging my feet on adoption tasks that my lawyer needed me to do. I know how it feels to be "on the fence". It's not conducive to a successful adoption.

In late 2006, when I met with our adoption attorneys they just knew. They knew that we were going to be successful in adopting and it was going to happen soon. they knew I had a fire in me that made me want to do everything possibly to adopt quickly-and they were right. My desire and committment to adoption made me order networking cards, do all our paperwork, get our homestudy done soon, create our adoption website, etc. as quickly as possible. We had an adoption situation that looked promising before our homestudy was approved. That's how fast I was moving. I was no longer "on the fence". We knew it was adoption, and only adoption that was going to make our family grow in 2007. I had given up on the idea of ever becoming pregnant again-and was OK with that.

If you are considering adoption, or in the process of adopting-whether it be domestic or international, independent or agency-make sure you are ready and committed to the process. It makes the process easier to handle and you are much more likely to do what it takes to help your baby find you in the soonest amount of time. If you are still dealing infertility issues and haven't fully come to terms with them-you may need to seek counseling or wait until you are emotionally ready to adopt.

Explaining life to a five year old...

My five year old is becoming more aware of things and I feel the need to explain. Very basic explanations at this point.

She was confused-at the end of dance class her friend was waiting to get picked up we waited with her. He mom did come a few minutes later. My daughter turned to her and said "who's that?". What my daughter never realized in the 13 months we know them, is that her friend has two moms. It's usually the other one that takes her back and forth to class, so she had not met her other Mom, but I had on a few occassions. I told her a boy in her class had two Dads (we only know them a month). We'd only been to one birthday party and I don't think she had any clue that one of her good little buddies had two Dads. I told her families come in different forms-mostly Moms and Dads. But there are families where they are just a Mom and kids, just a Dad and kids, grandparents raising kids, families with two moms and families with two Dads and that's all OK. They are all families and they children are loved! She seemed to understand that, but I wouldn't be surprised if questions pop up later this week. Her mind is always thinking.

My older daughter and I were on an adoption website later in the day. She was seeing caucasian families who had adopted Afro American or biracial babies and was surprised that a black child would have white parents. I think she was more fascinated by the idea. It's not something she has experienced (yet) in our small suburban community. We had to have another talk of how there are so many couples and families hoping to adopt, how thrilled they are to have a child and how the color of their skin is not important and that they are a family that loves each other. Being a family, being happy and loving each other are the most important things for a child. I guess it tied into the who family discussion that came up earlier today.

My daughter is naive, unassuming and innocent-which you should be at five. I know she is also bright, so I am sure more questions are to come and knowing her-detailed ones. I better start thinking of how to address them, because I know the questions will get harder! I got through today's round of questioning.

My adoption advertising business is taking off...

Much to my surprise, I am already getting quite a few calls and inquiries from hopeful adoptive parents, about my adoption advertising services. A few from the internet, but mostly referrals from friends in the adoption community as well as my attorneys. I haven't even reached out to ANY other attorneys or social workers yet! I'm enjoying helping people and can't wait to hear some adoption success stories!

I actually get on a high talking to folks about adoption. It's not because they may turn into clients-it's because I know even my conversations are helping them. i want to see folks succeed and adopt! I know adoption can be expensive, so I try to recommend cost efficient ways to get a toll free number, website hosting, newspaper ads and online ads. I also charge very reasonable rates, unlike the few people nationwide that do offer this service. I think in time, this could really snowball to be a nice, growing business that I can enjoy doing and make my own schedule.

I have high hopes for ADOPTION ADVERTISING. My only regret is that I didn't start this sooner! Visit my site, a few of my friends that it looked great (thank you homestead.com!):

http://adoptionadvertising.net

Then she found me...(spoilers)

I finally got to see "Then She Found me" on DVD. I liked it, for the most part. There were times I wanted to yell at the TV though. Here's a synopsis from IMDB:

"A New York schoolteacher hits a midlife crisis when, in quick succession, her husband leaves, her adoptive mother dies and her biological mother, an eccentric talk show host, materializes and turns her life upside down as she begins a courtship with the father of one of her students."

OK that's a lot to digest. Although the reviews were mixed, I just had to see it as much of the movie focused around adoption.

I hated when Helen Hunt asks her rich Biological mother to "Buy me a baby" That's not how you describe the means to becoming a parent-either through in vitro or adoption. I hurt when April (Helen Hunt) discovered that her baby had no heartbeat at 10 weeks (it happened to me twice).
I was angry when Bette Midler (Bernice-biological mother) lied to April about how she came to be adopted by the Epners and that she wasn't three days old, she was one year old. It bothered me that April said her mother looked at her brother Freddy differently because he was their biological son. I have an adopted daughter and a biological daughter and don't look at them any differently.

The movie is definitely worth a look if you are involved in adoption. Women will like it much more than men-it's a chick flick for the most part. Parts were unbelievable. I didn't like her whole involvement with Frank (Colin Firth). The movie touched me on many different levels, so I connected with it-sometimes positively, sometimes negatively. Sometimes I couldn't tell whether adoption was being painted in a positive or negative light.

I know one thing, a birthmother never stops thinking of the child they gave up. I understand that and as a mother, and it brings tears to my eyes. It's a painful choice made for the sake of the child. I always say, my daughter found us...

Yahoo election poll coverage is NOT a good thing

A few days ago, Yahoo started posting election polls and coverage on their main page. This IS NOT a good thing for anyone. They have even put up a projected number of electoral votes, projecting Obama to have well more than the 270 needed to win.

This is unprecedented and preposterous. Based on polling, they are practically declaring Obama the winner. I am a supporter of Obama, but I think this public disclosure of projected states and electoral votes can only hurt the candidates-both of them.

We already know from election day 2000, that polling isn't the most accurate way to measure who people are voting for. The internet and TV news media are painting this picture of what states are for John McCain, what states are for Barack Obama and what states are "battlegrounds". In their quest to be the best and analyze this election as thoroughly as possible-they are confidently giving states to candidates with three weeks to go until election day. This is bad and really wrong if you ask me.

Obama supporters say, "My candidate has a pretty good lead and is going to win my state, I'm not going to vote". McCain supporters say, "Why bother to vote, it looks like McCain is going to lose anyway". People are influenced by these projections and maps. In fairness to both candidates and the American public, this kind of detailed analysis of not welcomed or fair. Let people decide for themselves, don't make this election a "done deal" before it happens!

Apple and Pumpkin picking!!

We've had the most gorgeous weather the past few days and today was just spectacular. The skies were bright blue, the leaves are changing colors and the temperature was about 70 degrees. Needless to say, the local apple and pumpkin farm was packed with families in search of delicious apples and the most perfect pumpkin.

We headed out this morning as a family. We hit the pumpkin patch first and Jacqueline picked out our pumpkin, rather quickly too. Then we headed to the apple orchards. The best apples were at the top. Jenna loved running around and fell a few times, but didn't care. She ate quite a bit of a small apple where we were in the orchard. Of course, I took pictures. The one picture of me and the kids didn't come out so good. We took video too, so we'll see how that came out. Here's a few pictures of our adventure today...

This is what happens when you are someone's "person"

When I watched the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy, my husband I are started looking at each other and just laughing. This is dejavu of my life minus the icicle of course. I'm honored to be my best friend's "person", but at what point do you decide you just can't take hearing it anymore. Going back and forth minute by minute, and hour by hour. Make up your mind woman!

I'm Cristina Yang and my best friend is Meredith Grey. We've had these conversations for hours and days on end. She can't make decisions regarding her husband when he was her boyfriend and she still doesn't know what to do now that she's married to him. I can't decide for you. Last week I told her what I thought, even though I know it's not what she wanted to hear, but as her "person" I felt I really had to.

My guess is this will go on for some time to come. Maybe it just comes with the territory of having a best friend that can't make major decisions about men! I guess it's nice to know I am not alone-there are other's like myself and Cristina Yang in the world!

Annual APC Adoption Conference-be there November 23, 2008

If you live in the Tri-state NY area and are interested in obtaining information about domestic or international adoption, this conference is not to be missed! Lots of information to be shared about all aspects of adoption, including financing, choosing an agency, independent adoption, having a homestudy done, etc.

It's a great way to meet other people in the adoption community like adoption attorneys, social workers, agencies, other adoptive parents and hopeful adoptive parents. I can't tell you how valuable conversations with these folks are when you are trying to gather information.

Please visit the Adoptive Parent Committee's website and find out more information on the November 23rd event-it's one of the highlights of the year!

http://adoptiveparents.org

I did it! I started my own adoption advertising service!

After much thought and research, I decided to start my own adoption advertising business. I want to use my knowledge to help others that don't know where to begin when it comes to independent adoption advertising.

I have been helping people for a year and a half. Giving advise, telling them where to advertise, best way to get a toll free number, how to create a profile, etc. I really enjoy talking about and learning about adoption. Every day I learn something new!

My adoption attorneys (who I love), Nina Rumbold and Denise Seidelman have been telling my for over a year, that I just have to do this. I would be so good at it. They have been wanting to send clients my way (and have already) My family and friends are in agreement that this is a gift I have that I need to share with others.

For a reasonable hourly rate, I will place ads for hopeful adoptive parents. I will also assist with profile creation, website creation, coaching you on how to speak to a birthmother, assist with the design of adoption networking cards, and answer your toll free number, if you can't. I do not give legal advice, just adoption advertising advice. I can help you start to make contact with potential birthmothers.

For more information, please visit my website at:

http://adoptionadvertising.net

What made me smile yesterday...

Being at my older daughter's school yesterday made me smile. It was my first time volunteering at the school bookstore which is only open 1/2 hour on Mondays and Wednesdays. Kids can come with their money and buy pencils, notebooks, erasers, highlighters. etc. for a small price and "shop". It's run by the PTA. As soon as I get there and ask for the key the school secretary tells me there is going to be a planned fire drill in 5 minutes (at least she gave me heads up).

The bell rings, I lock up the "store" (which is more like a supply closet) and go out the nearest exit, where I see my daughter's class leaving. She forgot I was going to be in her school and gets all excited to see me. I had to laugh-I haven't had a school fire drill in over 20 years. They seem to have them often at our school, especially when the weather is good. I found it so amusing, I just had to smile. Almost like a blast from the past, I got to relive an elementary school moment.

The fire drill killed 1/2 the time the store was to be opened, but after everyone got back in the building, I did have two "customers". One little blond boy was so cute. He had a $20 bill all crumpled up in his pocket and he wanted to buy a 50 cent pencil. I counted out $19.50 in change and told him not to lose the change and to make sure he gave it to his parents. He told me the $20 was his allowance! He was so cute and proud of his purchase, I just had to smile. Two smiles in half an hour!

I've waited for days of volunteering at school all my life and I'm happy to say, I am enjoying them! I'm lucky enough to get to do it for two kids! I'll be an old pro by the time my baby gets to kindergarten!

It took 13 years but....

OJ Simpson was found guilty and will serve jail time!!!! 13 years to the day when he smiled after they found him not guilty for the murder of his wife and her friend Ron Goldman. Thirteen years since he got away with murder, and we all know that he did. I remember that day as if it were yesterday. I remember working at home, being in my apartment, with my very heavy, large black and white laptop. Peering over the table waiting for the verdict to be announced. I thought for sure they would find him guilty. How naive I must have been at 26 years old.

When they announced the verdict my jaw dropped and I sat there in disbelief and anger. I can remember exactly where I was standing. It's almost the way people remember where they were when JFK was shot. I was angry that he would get away with this because he bought his way out of it. Angry because his children now had no mother and he was to blame. Angry because the justice system has failed as far as I was concerned.

The majority of Americans believe he was guilty of murdering his wife and Ron Goldman that that may have hurt him is his recent armed robbery trial in Las Vegas. Nobody has liked OJ since. I hope they throw the book at him and give him the maximum sentence. I hope he lives the rest of his life in prison. He'll probably just get a few years and then be out, but at least he will have to serve time-many people don't care if it is for armed robbery and not for murder. He finally will sit behind bars! Long, long overdue.

What do I want to be when I grow up???

I have been out of work 17 months. I have been looking for a job feverishly for the last four months applying to 10 jobs a week or so. Daycare will be very costly, jobs are paying less than a few years ago and they want you to work your butt off for no overtime. I have been layed off from major corporations twice in six years due to downsizing.

I like the benefits, social aspect and regular paychecks of a job at a large company. I don't like office politics, being denied vacation days and missing out on my kids lives. Every night I go to bed trying to decide-Do I really want another 9-5 job or do I want to try to do my own thing and start my own business.

For over a year now, my adoption lawyers have been telling me how great I would be at starting my own adoption advertising business. I would enjoy working from home, not paying daycare and making my own schedule. They would refer clients to me who need help with profiles, websites and advertising. I could place ads on their behalf. I did extensive research and demographics research on hundreds of newspapers last year, why let it go to waste right? Everybody in my family and all my friends say it's a no brainer and I should do this. Why am I so hesitant and afraid. I don't have much to lose. I have all the skills and knowledge to put this into action. I keep making excuses instead of making the decision to do this.

My heart is so into adoption. I often advise people at no charge. I find it hard to charge for my time and services, but I will have to get over that. I would be so happy to help people and know I have changed their lives. On the flip side, if the results aren't positive, I will feel bad for my clients. I guess I have to learn to separate my heart from my head a bit.

I can't keep mulling this over. I need to make a decision. I am wasting hours every week looking for and applying to jobs in a terrible job market. Domestic adoption is on the rise and there are lots of families out there who I could be helping. This is a great time to start up such a business and my attorneys believe in me so much, they are willing to sit down with me and take time out of their busy schedule to get me started. I guess it's time to start believing in myself and follow my heart into what I hope becomes a fulfilling career.

American Girl has ticked me off!

The other day my 11 year old niece was over and we were looking at the American Girl website. I want to buy my youngest daughter a bitty baby soon and we joked last year how Jenna looked exactly like the blond haired bitty baby they sold LAST YEAR. I emphasize last year, because it seems in the last few months, they changed the blond bitty baby and the eyes are no longer blue. They are blue-grey now, but honestly, they look light green. I called American Girl and asked if they have any of the retired blond bitty babies in stock for sale. Of course they don't.

Now if I want to buy the bitty baby that looks like my daughter, I will have to search ebay and probably pay $100 with shipping for a $42 doll. I am so ticked. Maybe people will complain and they will bring back the blue eyed baby.

Here is the bitty baby I want that they sold for years with blue eyes!























Here is the new, current blond bitty baby with what I think are green eyes:

A day or milestones...

Well today my girls both celebrated milestones. My older daughter had her first dance class for the year, and is now starting her third year of dance. She loved her class and is now taking ballet, tap and jazz. She still has the same dance teacher and was happy that most of the girls were from her class last year. I had to take the annual picture of her in her dance outfit as I do every year on the first day of dance class!

























My younger daughter celebrated a milestone too-she turned 16 months old today! She may not look it, but my fireball is getting older and more mature every month! Of course, I had to take her monthly picture of her too. Now she rarely sits still and it hard to catch her posing! My favorite ended up being one in the high chair!



















That's my girls-making me proud every day!!!

Our cruise on the Love Boat...

On Saturday, September 13th, was our 16th wedding anniversary. Months ago, we decided to book a one night cruise to nowhere on the Norwegian Cruise Line Spirit, out of NYC. My parents watched our girls for a weekend and we were off to celebrate 16 years of wedded bliss!

I had never been on a cruise before and was in awe of the port itself (there were two other cruise ships "parked next to us". Our ship had 13 floors, 11 restaurants and lots of stuff to do. Our room was small as we got the basic room with no porthole. I guess you could say we were in steerage! It was fine for one night. Better than I thought actually. I am claustrophobic and wanted to see how I could hand the small room-I was fine. We were barely in the room!

The food was great, the entertainment was great and it was nice to spend 24 hours not making bottles, cutting up food, changing diapers and telling kids what to do. We had a really great time on our cruise! We were very mature and made fun of the safety video playing in our room and had to try on the lifejackets just for fun! I really enjoyed my husband's company and we were so relaxed not thinking of the kids for one day.

This was a test and since we both liked the cruise, we will consider a longer one to a further away destination! Maybe a four day cruise next??? This is where it comes in handy to have a sister that is a travel agent! Here's a few pictures we took!!!

The shops and promenade on the Spirit


















View of the west side of NYC at pier 88 (near Intrepid Museum)


















Not bad for a picture taken by the camera on a timer! Love the fake window!

It's September 11th-again...

Just about every year since September 11, 2001, I have watched some, if not all, of the reading of the names of those that died at the World Trade Center attacks. It's been seven years, but those families will always come out to the memorial ceremony. This year, some rather young children read names and then did it in memory of their father who died on 9/11. From how old they look, they probably barely remember him. Every year, what those family members say, often brings me to tears. Lives lost to soon. Children missing fathers, wives missing husbands, sisters missing brothers, and friends missing friends.

I am lucky, we did not lose anyone close to us on 9/11. I feel grateful for that. I also feel sadness every year for the thousands of people I never met, but yet feel their loss. Hearing their name, seeing a small picture, their age, and where they were from, makes it real. They were people with lives. If it weren't were fate, I could have been a grieving widow. My entire life would have been radically and tragically altered. God spared our family this pain. Other families were not so fortunate.

This year, I had to explain 9/11 to my oldest daughter, who was asked to where red, white and blue to school today. I gave a brief explanation of what happened. I didn't think a five year old needed to be frightened with images, she just needed to know it's a day to remember and to celebrate being an American. I'm sure in years to come, I will have to explain in further detail what happened to both my daughters. I don't look forward to that, but it's a part of life and now a part of history. A sad part of history.

If I live to be 100, I will always remember what I was doing when I heard of the 9/11 attacks. I will never forget.

Happy Anniversary Grandma and Grandpa

Today is my grandparents actual wedding anniversary-62 years! WOW!!!!! It seems like just yesterday, they held a big 40th anniversary party-like a wedding! That was 22 years ago. My grandparents were afraid they would not make a 50th anniversary and had a big 40th so they could enjoy their party while they were healthy enough to dance.

Luckily, in spite of some healthy crisis's my grandparents are still in relatively good health and go out and do things almost every day. My grandfather is now 91 and my grandmother 81. We got the whole clan together to celebrate yesterday-the children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. We were 23 people in total I think. We had a wonderful dinner and it was nice to see my cousins and their kids. We ranged in age from the youngest (my daughter, who is one), to the oldest (Grandpa at 91). The youngest generation is made up of eight girls, all under the age of 11! My grandfather is still waiting for a great grandson!!!

I am lucky enough to come from a stable family where couples stay married for the duration. Last week, my parents celebrated 40 years of marriage and next week my husband and I will celebrate 16 years of marriage. My aunts and uncles are all married 35 plus years. Marriage isn't always easy-almost every couple married for many years has been through ups and downs. They only tell their closest family and friends-infertility, financial woes, health problems, loss of a child, strains of working, difficulties raising children, learning to compromise, and still loving each other through the journey.

It seems like the good times, the fun times and the love make all the bad times seem like distant memories. I can still remember our first few years married, some of the great trips we took, some of the silly things we did and the fun we had being young and in love. Although it's easy to take anniversaries for granted, we shouldn't.

We should celebrate each and every one. In this day and age, a lasting marriage is something to be celebrated. So here's to you-my grandparents-for setting such a fine example of what marriage and love are!

My big girl's first day of school...

Well my older Daughter boarded the bus today for her first day of kindergarten. She's been waiting for this for years-literally! I know she's fine-my Mom works at the school and called me to say she's doing great! I don't know who is more excited-Jac or my Mom!

We were married over 10 years when by some miracle Jacqueline did come along. There were many many days I cried thinking I would never get the joy of putting my child on the bus on the first day of school. I have looked forward to this day for years. It's great to experience the "firsts" as a parent. I love that I get to do it one more time with Jenna and experience all the "firsts" one last time.

Being a parent-no matter how you become a parent-is soooo wonderful!

Here are a few pictures of my daughter waiting for and boarding the bus! Thanks for looking!

Happy Birthday Dad...

We just got home from celebrating my father's 61st birthday. 13 of us altogether gathered for dinner and cake and a little craziness. Things get crazy when you have people together that range in age from 91 to one!

This year was a special year. Usually a 61st birthday isn't, but for us it was. In early June, he had a very serious heart attack. He's had two stents put in his heart in two separate surgeries. This summer has not been an easy one for our family, especially my parents. Although he has a few issues that will need to be addressed with his heart in years to come, we are happy he's alive, OK and back to work. We all chipped in and got him an Nikon D80 digital camera and lenses, camera bag etc. It's backordered, so I had to make a computer printout of the gift. He's really excited. We normally would not have splurged, but we know how much he wanted it and we realized time is precious.

I've spent a lot of time this summer worrying about my Dad, it was nice to celebrate for a change. Tomorrow we get to celebrate my parents 40th anniversary!


Here's a picture of my father and his four granddaughters. Hopefully, these little ones are the reason he takes care of himself and lives a long life!

Gone baby Gone

Caylee Anthony is gone, baby, gone. I had been meaning to see the movie for a while now and finally got around to it. When you have two young daughters, it's scary to think they could be abducted in the blink of an eye. I liked the movie and I couldn't help but think of poor missing Caylee Anthony. I have been following her case since the start.

Forensic evidence came back yesterday proving a decomposing body was in the back of her mother's car-almost certainly indicating that Caylee is dead. It didn't come as a surprise to me or many others. I held out a glimmer of hope that someone still had her alive and was hiding her.

In the movie Gone Baby Gone, a four year old goes missing. The poor girl led a miserable life and would have been better off being adopted by a loving family. She is found alive at the end and returned to her mother to continue her life, filled with unhappiness, loneliness and lack of affection. Had Casey Anthony decided to place her baby for adoption before she was born, that little girl would have just celebrated a third birthday with a family that adored her and could have been enjoying the last carefree days of summer. A life that could have been saved. Caylee-you deserved so much better!

I hope they recover her body soon, where ever her mother buried or discarded it. Her grandparents and uncle seemed to care and I'm sure would like to have a proper funeral and burial for her. As for Casey Anthony-I have no use for her. She is a mentally ill, sociopath who loved partying and men more then her own daughter.

There are couples and families who would do ANYTHING to adopt a baby and love them unconditionally. Then there are parents who kill, abuse and discard their children with no appreciation for the gift God has given them. The world is full of injustices.

Just like a tattoo...

I'll always have you..............Jordin Sparks said it best.

I have to admit, I have been thinking a lot about getting a tattoo lately. I have always wanted one. Years ago, I would have picked my alter ego-Snoopy as Joe Cool and put it on my ankle. I still may do it, but right now I want to memorialize my two babies lost to miscarriages in 2006. I have been looking at designs, but am undecided. Maybe cherubs, maybe hearts with angel wings, I'm not sure at all. Looking online can make your mind spin-so many designs, websites, things to think of. I think I have narrowed it down a bit, but need to give it more thought since it will be permanent.

I'm hoping it will help me heal a bit. I think of them every single day. For my husband the pain is not as real. He thinks I am overreacting when I even bring up the miscarriages. Tomorrow would have been my first angel's 2nd birthday. She was due to be born by C-Section on 8/25/06. I should have been having a 2nd birthday party today and not thinking about how to memorialize angels I never met.

I did see a beautiful image of two angels that reminded me of my two girls. My beautiful brunette and my angelic blondie. Here's the image that reminds of my my angels here on earth!

I got my text message from Barack Obama....

at 3:30 AM!!!!!!!!!!! I was sleeping and heard by cell phone go off that I had a text. I know nobody would text me at that time. It was either the VP decision I signed up for or an Amber alert. It was the VP decision. I was not surprised by his choice to pick Joe Biden and was actually disappointed in 1) receiving a text that woke me up and 2) that he did not pick Hillary Clinton. Needless to say, I just shut my cell phone off for the rest of the night and went back to bed. A very anti climatic decision if you ask me.

Supposedly there was a leak that forced the Obama camp to send out there text after 3AM Eastern time. Most expected the text to come this morning, when people are awake.

Much ado about nothing....hopefully, I will get a better night's sleep tonight!

I love facebook...

I just signed up for facebook the other day, after a friend invited me. I was so surprised to find out lots of people I know were on it, unlike myspace. I guess it's more user friendly to us old farts in our upper 30s! I have to say, it's easier to use.

I connected with some old college friends, old high school friends, old co-workers, current friends and even some old grammar school friends. It's great to know I can reach out to them and see how they are doing now. I love seeing the pictures of my friends and their families. I was reluctant to sign up for a long time, but I am glad I did. I do encourage it, especially if you are planning a reunion of some kind and hoping to contact people you've been out of touch with for a while.

It's cool to see how everyone has their circle of friends and how they have a few friends in common with you-it's like 6 degrees of separation! Great for social networking!

The Olympics should be for amateurs....

Up until 1988, the Olympics were for amateurs. It was their time to shine. The young non professional athletes waited their whole life to possibly become a household name. For the past 20 years, the Olympics has become a mix of professional athletes and amateurs and I don't think it's fair.

That's what made the Olympics exciting-young, undiscovered talent hoping to win their country the Gold medal. Mark Spitz, Bruce Jenner, Eric Heiden and the 1980 Mens Hockey team will forever stand out in my mind-my childhood Olympic heros. Unknowns rising to be American heros. Making our country proud and encouraging the youth of our country to go for the Gold.

In this summer Olympics, we have pro tennis players, some countries have pro baseball players and of course pro basketball players. The US did not send our best pro baseball players-they are too greedy to take two weeks off and miss two weeks pay to make our country proud. They are already "discovered" and well paid. Pro hockey takes a break during winter Olympics so athletes can represent their team in the Olympics.

I personally like watching womens softball the best. I can relate, I played softball. For these women, this is as good as it gets and the highlight of their career. Once a player graduates from college, there isn't anywhere to go. No leagues, no going pro. Women of all ages from all parts of the country playing together in hopes of medaling!

I hope people around the world appreciate the dedication these athletes have for their sport. I hope a new breed of Olympic heros rises and that they are the amateurs. Pros have the endorsements already, millions of fans and multi-million dollar paychecks. They don't need another pat on the back. Let and up and coming athlete have a moment of glory.

Happy Birthday Caylee Anthony

Happy Birthday Caylee! Today you turn 3! You should be celebrating with friends and family. A party with cake and ice cream, lots of balloons, maybe even a clown. Instead of today being a day of celebration, it's just marks one more day that you are missing. Nobody has seen or heard from you since mid June. A web of lies and deceit makes the investigation more complex. A nation is concerned for you, but we are all helpless. The only one who holds to the key to where you are is your mother and she's not talking. Millions of people are thinking of you and praying for you today-just know that you are loved.

With each passing day, the prospect of finding you alive grows dimmer. As a parent of two young girls, I am fascinated and disgusted, all at the same time, by your disappearance. My heart aches for you-a young, innocent soul, who should be enjoying a care free childhood. If one of my girls were missing for a hour, I'd by hysterical. You're missing for 7 weeks, yet your mother only talks of herself and found time to party, shortly after you went missing. Right now you are a lost soul. I hope you are found so we have closure to the mystery that surrounds you.

Whether you are somewhere on this earth, or up in heaven-Happy Birthday to you!