The people in your neighborhood..

I have lived in my house almost nine years. Today during my walk (for exercise) I was reflecting on the people in my neighborhood. It was nice to see my 22 year old neighbor (a guy) playing catch with his Dad in the street. It was sad to see one neighbor walking a dog that was once spry and is now struggling to walk and quite old.

A street sign that has been missing practically since we moved here was finally replaced. How long before someone steals that "Princeton Drive" sign yet again?? As the neighbor hood turns! The kids that played in their front yards when we moved her in are driving and in high school or college. Scary how the years have flown by. I actually knew the family that lived here before us. I went to high school with their son. They lived here 27 years and raised three kids. I like to think of my house as a "happy house". The kids grew up and moved out. They had an inground pool and closed in up-we still get magazines. My husband thinks he knew where in the yard it was. I wonder if it was broke or nobody was using it, so they filled it up? I wished I had more info on the pool.

I have a neighbor who is elderly and an original home owner. She tells me stories about the other families that lived in the neighborhood and in my house. I think it's kind of cool!

I will always remember this house as our first house. A house I fell in love with because of the property, it needed quite a bit of renovation. A house we had ups and downs in and the house we brought both our children home to. Sometimes I fast forward to the future and I can still see my husband and I living here. The house is quieter and I have my office back and a guest room for when the kids come to visit. So much of this house is ours-the new windows, new kitchen, new bathroom. It didn't feel like our house at firstm, but it did after we put our own touches on it!

I love my neighborhood and house. NY is getting expensive to live in. I hope we can stay here and not be forced to move to somewhere cheaper. I'd hate to be forced to move from a place I love so much.

The kindness of strangers

Yes, strangers can be kind people-even in NY. I usually run a craigslist ad in my county advertising my Lia Sophia business. A woman who used to sell Lia Sophia emailed me and asked if I wanted some of her old supplies at no charge. She was going to throw them away and thought I could use them.

She lives about 1/2 hour away-but comes to the next town over to tutor a kid. We met in the town where she tutors and she gave me the stuff, lots of forms, a tote bag, some postcards and a retired piece of jewelry. So nice of her. I had brought with me a dunkin donuts gift card to give to her and am so glad I did. She was so nice and glad to help me out!

It just goes to show-there is still goodness and kindness in the world-now if I could just get some more Lia Sophia parties booked-I'll be psyched!

So confused....Big girls don't cry-do they???

I am so confused right now, I feel torn. I have been dieting for the past 20 years. In college, I just needed to lose 10 or 20 pounds and I did gain and lose. I wasn't unhappy with my weight for the most point at that time in my life. I was an underweight child, always being told to eat.

Over the past 10 years or so, my weight has become an issue. In 1996, I joined weight watchers and came within two pounds of goal and stopped going. I had lost 47 pounds and was wearing size 7. Unfortunately the weight came back as quickly as it came off. In June 1998 I joined weight watchers (for the 2nd time). I lost 55 pounds in 6 months. I went six pounds under goal and became a weight watchers leader. I wore size 5. I felt great-better at 30 that I felt at 20! I thought there is no way I will gain it back-WRONG! Within a year, I gained it all back and then some.

The last few years have been very disappointing. My motivation to even have an honest week of dieting is not there. It's difficult to exercise with two kids. I do have success if I go to weight watchers meetings regularly and have a motivating leader. Just this past fall I lost 28 pounds-in nine weeks-and then stopped going to WW!

My sister had gastric bypass surgery in March of this year. It got me thinking about lap band surgery. I finally went to a free seminar. I am very interested and not afraid of the surgery itself. It appears my insurance will cover it, but it takes 3-6 months to get approved. I would have to gain a decent amount of weight to have a BMI over 40 to get approved easily for the surgery. I won't do that. I think it's counter productive. I want to get approved the way I am. My BMI is over 35 and I do some a couple of co-morbities, but they are slight, one being sleep apnea. I am pre diabetic, my triglycerides are always over 500 and my blood pressure is about 145 over 90 all the time. I have asthma and back problems. My weight isn't helping at all! I am worrying about my future health, diabetes and heart disease run rampant in my family.

I hate to waste 3-6 months waiting to be approved. What if I am denied? That's months I could have been trying to lose weight again. I feel like my life is on hold. I will have to go through another birthday and Thanksgiving and Christmas looking and feeling like this. I haven't been watching what I am eating or taking walks the last few weeks because I don't want to lose weight before my consultation with the bariatric surgeon. I'm not considering the surgery because I can't lose weight, it's because I can't keep it off and gain it back SO fast. The yo-yo dieting is not good for my heart.

Part of me wants to try weight watchers or a traditional diet one more time-right now. The other part says that since I am not working now, it's an opportunity to pursue lap band surgery and change my life. I want to be thin forever, not for six months or so. I know if I don't have the surgery, 5 or 10 years from now, nothing will change-I will weight the same, possibly more. I have to do something to change my fate and save my life. Diets only have short term results for me. I want my life back while my kids are young. I felt so good the few times in my adult life I was thin-I want to feel like that again. I know the surgery has no guarantees, but statistically, it's much more successful than traditional dieting. Lifestyle changes must be made.

I am so confused, but I am moving forward with the lap band surgery route. I really and truly feel it's my key to being at a normal weight for the rest of my life. I hope I'm doing the right thing.

Gentlemen start your engines....

I have been needing tires for my SUV for a long time. Finally Saturday, I decided I could not wait any longer. The front tires were bald on the sides. I love the tires I had, they were BF Goodrich and were $83 or so a tire-not bad for an SUV. When I drop the car off, the guy says they are now $110 each. I wasn't going for that. I asked "What's cheaper?"

He said he had these tires made by BF Goodrich, good quality, but they are rough and a little nosier. For $93 a tire, it was the best I could do. I can withstand a little noise-right? Well $563 dollars later (I needed an oil change and an alignment), I was good to go. OUCH!

When I drove the car out of the lot, I could immediately tell it was louder. My SUV is driving like a pick up truck and the only way I could describe the increased noise in the tires is the SWOOSH you get when all the cars pass you at a Nascar race. Seriously. I never thought tires could make that big of deal in how your car SOUNDS. I'm getting used to them-let's just put it at that. Maybe I should have shopped around more...I guess the Mark Martin license plate holder on the back of my car is appropriate now!

There are worse things I could do....

So yesterday my older daughter graduated from pre-school. We took her to Toys R Us to pick out a new bike. She was thrilled. While I was there, I happened to spot these Grease Barbie Dolls. Never saw them before. There was just one Rizzo left. I couldn't take the chance of not having this doll. I went back to the store and bought it for myself!!! $35 on a doll for myself. Even the cashier commented on what a great doll she is!

It's ironic because I never liked dolls in the first place-ever. I just had to have it!!! I love her in her pink ladies jacket-I could just picture here saying "I'm going to RULLLLEEE the school" There are so few Barbie dolls with black hair. As a kid, I hated that all the dolls were blonde and blue eyed, I never could relate. No doll looked like me. Dolls in the 1970's didn't look like Italian girls! I love the movie Grease. I've seen the play Grease quite a few times. I was in Grease in High School (guess what part I played???). I think it will look nice next my daughter's collectible "I love Lucy" doll! My husband was a good sport about it and laughed, knowing how much I did want this doll.

So-here she is....Rizzo! Isn't she great?? There are worst things I could do, then buy a doll or two.

Prom night on Friday the 13th???

It sounds like a recipe for a teen horror movie! Last night was a beautiful June night here and one of our local high schools was having their prom. As I navigated the local streets with my kids in tow, I saw groups of teens dressed in tuxedos and beautiful dresses posing for pictures on suburban lawns. I can't even imagine what these parents spent on limos, prom tickets, dresses, makeup, hair, tuxes, etc. It was so nice to see though. To be 18 again! I got a bit teary eyed.

It was 21 years ago (yipes!) that I went to my senior prom with my husband-who was then my boyfriend of four months! I told my oldest daughter how grandma and I went to a bridal store months before to pick out the electric blue dress I would wear and I had shoes and a purse dyed to match! How my hair and makeup were done just so and how my friends and I all rented a limo and were so excited. I told my daughter that her Dad was a great prom date. Although he wasn't into dancing much, he did take me to NYC for a horse and carriage ride in Central Park and then to a comedy club. We came home the next morning, exhausted, but happy!

I can't wait until my girls are old enough to go to the prom! They can go to more than one each! I don't care what it costs. As the mother of two girls, I have the thrill of picking out the dress and the jewelry and getting caught up in all the prom hoopla! It's one of those moments that mothers of daughters live for! I can just picture my girls looking stunning all dressed up-perfect ladies.
The way the years fly by, that day will come before I know it.

It's like a heat wave......

This is day four of the New York area's pre-summer heat wave. Yesterday and today, many local schools had early dismissal as our schools are not air conditioned and the heat was just too much for staff and students. I have barely left the house since the heatwave started. Our air conditioners are on almost continuously-I can't wait to see the Con Ed bill! I don't have a choice, as my kids are little and I have asthma.

At one point today, my indoor thermometer than measure the outside temperature said 101.4 (and that was at 10:30 this AM). I did take a picture of my old outdoor thermometer, just about touching 100. I hope this early heat wave is not a preview of the kind of summer we will have. Tonight the heatwave is supposed to break, with temps only in the 80s the rest of the week. Last night at 11pM when I went to bed it was 87 degrees! That's just plain crazy!

Here's my thermometer (I have no idea how old it is and yes we need to paint our back awning big time!)

Other people's happiness..

makes me happy!!! I am so lucky to be part of the coolest adoption board on the internet. I have been a member for almost a year and a half and have met some of the local members. These women are great-helpful, knowledgable, supportive, and caring. I don't know what I would have done without this group!!!

Today was a great day on the board! I woke up, logged on and found that a local member has a son! Her baby due in early July, arrived a few days ago. He came into the world very quickly and is doing great in the NICU! Rights have been terminated so he's theirs forever. Then another close friend and fellow New Yorker lets it be known that her daughter was born yesterday and released from the hospital today and is doing great. I even got to speak to the 2nd time Mom briefly today!! So exciting!! Then, I just read a post from a member who is planning on adopting from her local foster program. They received info on two sisters today during a meeting and long story, THEY HAVE TWO DAUGHTERS. The girls will start visits in a few weeks and transition to their new home! Wow-that's four new ducklings (as we call them) in the pond in just one day!!! That may be a record!

We also had a group of ladies from our board get together for a scrapbooking event. Many drove and flew hundreds of miles to get together and share their love of scrapbooking! It was nice to see pictures of the group!

I also feel good-happy to be helping others. My day started with a call from a friend I went to high school with and a chat about adoption that lasted an hour. I was giving her more info and hints as they are planning on private adoption. I also helped a local couple who are planning on a private, independent adoption by emailing them lots of helpful information, including a copy of our profile.

My calling must be for adoption. I truly get excited hearing good news regarding adoption. I also am very deeply saddenly when my friends have a setback.

I really need to get my act in order and start my adoption assistance business. I can make some money, help people create a family and really make myself happy all at the same time!!

For everyone reading this who thinks that to adopt a baby or child in the US is impossible, it's not. If you take time, do what your attorney tells you and don't give up, you will eventually be a parent. Trust me. Three couples today became parents to four children! Three couples that I personally know are on top of the world tonight!

My baby turns one today!!!

Happy birthday to my baby girl! I can't believe she's one! That was a fast year! It felt like just yesterday that we were racing up North to meet her. It was surreal and it still is. It has been an exciting, enjoyable year with out new addition. She has brought such joy to our lives, I can't even describe it. She has grown and changed so much!! Happy birthday my princess!

Here is the first picture I took of my daughter, just after meeting her, at about 3 hours old:

Here's a picture of her taken Saturday at a local park (first time on the swings)

Today was like a dream...

I took my almost one year old to the park today-spur of the moment. The weather was great, a nice Spring day with a light breeze. Nobody was at the park, we had it all to ourselves. I took some beautiful pictures of the stream by the park and then some pictures of my daughter in action. It was her first time on the swings and she loved it!!! She also loved when I held her and she went down the slide. Nothing scares this girl and I wouldn't be surprised if she grows up to be a stuntwoman. She is a daredevil to say the least!!!

Here are some pictures of my wonderful trip to the park with my baby! I never dreamed I would have days like this 7 or 10 years ago with children were so elusive to me! A simple trip to the park was such a powerful experience for me. I enjoyed every single second with her. I breathe in the air and took the whole experience in, the sounds, the sun, her expressions-everything. It was like the ultimate gift!! Every Mom should have days like this!!!

"Not his real daughter"

My sister often says my youngest daughter looks like Shiloh Jolie Pitt, youngest daughter of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt (at least until those twins come along). I was surfing the net and found pictures of Shiloh when she was turning one to compare to Jenna. There is quite a resemblance and she is almost exactly a year older than my daughter.

Anyway, I mention it to my mother in law and she says "You mean Brad Pitt's real daughter, not the adopted one". That really irked me. Hello! All Brad and Angelina's kids are real-you can see them, touch them and play with them. I guess she meant biological, but the way it came out gave me the impression that the children that were adopted aren't real. I know that's an underlying factor in her thinking. My husband has a cousin who was adopted and she told her sons "that's not REALLY your cousin". Well when they played together, spent holidays together and were raised as cousins-they were cousins-blood related or not. For years my husband and his brother never knew. What difference did it make?? It's the love, not the blood that bonds.

Do they offer adoption education classes for family members? I have a few I could sign up!!! Anyway, here's Shiloh (with her Mom and Z) just around the time she turned one:






















Here's a recent picture of Jenna:

I'm no fan of ebay right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday I went to log onto my ebay account and found I am "no longer a registered user" HELLO???? It seems I listed an item that can be delivered electronically under the wrong format-as an auction vs. a classifed ad?? This is a new rule for electronically delivered goods. I think pulling the auction of that one item and giving me a warning would be the right approach. I had things for sale, with bids and everything was pulled down. I can't even log on to check the credit card number I used to pay the rediculous extortion like ebay fees they charge. I am ticked off beyong belief!!

We have people on ebay that bid on hundreds of items and never pay, people trying to sell babies and body parts and people that are committing fraud and they suspend my account for using the wrong format to sell an item??? Come on! I have been selling on ebay almost 11 years and had 2600 positive feedbacks. I'm one of the good guys.

Let's see how long it takes them to review the situation and get back to me. They may or may not decide to reactivate my account. I'm not stupid, I have two other ebay accounts, so I can still bid and sell, but they have nowhere need the positive feedback my main account had.

I am sooo pissed. You have no idea. I was going to ramp up my ebay sales and clean out my basement too! I'll keep you posted.

My new favorite song..Amazing

I first heard this song on onetruemedia.com and noticed people were picking it as music to their montages. My niece had made a montage to this song as well! The song is Amazing by Janelle (a Christian singer). Every time I hear it, I think of my youngest daughter. Even my older daughter says it reminds her of Jenna. Why didn't this great song get any airplay??? It pretty much brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it. It's so touching and uplifting.

It's hard to find, but I did buy the mp3 from Walmart.com and I think you can find it on limewire. You can also find it on myspace if you look up Janelle and Christian music. Who would expect a girl from NYC to be singing Christian music??? It's a great song, I don't think I will ever get tired of hearing! Have a listen!

Here's her link on myspace:

Amazing by Janelle

One year ago today.......

I was layed off. I packed my desk and left-upset. Not that I loved my job, but I liked the people there, it was close to home and I feared how it would affect our adoption plans.

A friend of mine who was layed off that day said to me as I walked out the door "One door closes, another one opens. You'll see-something will happen with the adoption". I shook my head. Nothing had been happening in weeks and I now worried about being able to afford ads.

I had tickets to see Grease at a local dinner theatre that night. I did not feel like going, but I already paid for the ticket. I showered, but on my game face and went out with the Moms from Jac's school. It was our ladies night!

In the middle of the play, my cell phone starts lighting up. I'm getting a call from a strange area code - 603-could that be New Hampshire?? We did have an ad running there this week. I could not run out of the theatre to get it, so it went to voicemail. I listened to the message at intermission-it was a very nice sounding woman who wanted to talk to me about our ad in the paper.

The rest is history. How my life changed in one year! Just when I was at my lowwest, I got "the call". Your life can change with one call! April 27th will forever be a special day!

I feel so blessed....

I feel like the luckiest woman alive. I have two healthy happy children, a husband that loves me and supports me (even when I get these crazy notions) and friends that care about me. I may not be rich in a material sense, but I consider myself very very wealthy for all that I do have.

I feel especially lucky when I think of how just about one year ago, we received a call that would change our lives. We were blessed with a birthmother and situation that was just perfect. A terrific woman wanting to make an adoption plan, driving distance away, a healthy, beautiful baby, only two weeks from first conversation to birth, everything went smoothly legally, we got to stay in a nice New England city with stores and restaurants, the weather was great, our families drove up to see us in the middle of our ICPC wait, it was just perfect. I never dreamed we'd be so lucky. There were days I doubted we would even be chosen.

It scares me to think of the "what ifs". What if she didn't see our ad? What if she didn't have the courage to call us? What if we did not take the chance and commit because we had no medical information on the birthmom? What if the birthmom changed her mind?

Almost a year later and I am still pinching myself that it all happened and happened so smoothly. When I look at my baby, I just want to cry with happiness. She has changed our entire family's outlook. We are complete now, we are happy and not still searching and waiting for a little one to join our family. We feel relief, gratitude, and love.

Our angel was sent to us, just when I was at the end of my rope and tired of dealing with failures, medical issues and fear. She even looks like an angel. I know she was sent to us by God and that we needed her as much as she needed us.

I always say how unlucky I am-never win anything, things don't go my way, etc. It's been over 11 months and I have not complained once about being unlucky. All the material winnings I was thinking of don't matter. I no longer complain-I'm not unlucky....I am BLESSED!

My princess turned 11 months old today!

Time is just flying by-my baby turned 11 months today! Where has the time gone? My life has really changed in the past year. It's scary how fast time is going by and how quickly the kids are growing!!!

We're planning a one year old birthday party and can't wait to celebrate it! I still pinch myself that it's real and that she is ours. She's a fireball! Full of energy, giggles and smiles! Always on the go, no moss will ever grow under her feet. I can already see she will be the daredevil of the family!!

Here are a few pictures I took today!!! Move over Rachael Ray-here is the Food Networks newest sensation!

It felt so good...

to visit my friend at the hospital last weekend and see her new baby-and NOT feel bad. I was truly happy for her and for the first time, it was OK for me to walk into the maternity floor and not feel sorry for myself. This was the first time I've had to visit a friend in the maternity ward since our baby has arrived. Trust me-having our baby has made all the difference in the world. I am so happy and so complete now-I can't even describe the feeling. I can go visit new babies, go to baby showers, go to one year old birthday parties, go to baptisms and NOT feel bad!!! For the first time in years, I can enjoy!

This particular friend has an older daughter and her and I were due the same week in 2006. We joked about being in the hospital at the same time. Unfortunately for me, that was my first miscarriage, her daughter will be two this August. Every time I see her toddler, I can't help to think what could have been for me.

Fate and destiny led us to our baby and she was meant to be ours. Everything that happened to me the past few years happened for a reason. She was meant to be our daughter. She is our angel sent from heaven and she (as well as her older sister) make me happy every single day!

Happiness and Sadness.....

That's what I see when my grandparents visit us. They live 2 miles away and we see them a few times a week. My grandma is 81, but grandpa is 91. He still drives, cooks, cleans up, plays bingo and cards, reads the paper and of course watches his Yankee games. He's in great shape for his age and his mind is as sharp as a tack. His hearing is another story! In November, he had a minor stroke that miracously left him with no side effects. I worry about him a lot. He shuffles his feet more and more and stumbles and I swear a fall will be what brings him down.

I am so happy he got to see my baby. When 2006 brought me two miscarriages and he was 89, I was so afraid he would not be alive to see my 2nd child. It bothered me on a daily basis. Happily he did get to see her and enjoys playing with her. Of his eight great grandchildren, I think she is his favorite. He's in awe of Jenna. On one hand, he is so happy to see her and gets such a kick out of her (she totally plays up to him) and on the other hand, I see a sadness in his eyes. He knows his years are numbered and he won't get to see the kids grown up, graduate college, and get married. Sometimes I am afraid when I say goodbye to them, it could be the last time. We're very close and I will be devastated when they pass.

I guess that's part of growing old-the happiness of experiencing many years of life, but the sadness in knowing that the sun is setting on his life and he won't get to see the newest generation fulfil their dreams. I just let the kids see their great grandparents as often as possible and pray they continue to live relatively healthy lives.

Losing my religion....

I already lost my religion in June 2007. My Roman Catholic church refused to baptize my baby because she was adopted and the adoption was not finalized. They called the Archdiosese of NY in front of me-as it if made me feel better. They were afraid of getting sued if the birthmother wanted her back. I had papers from my lawyer that stated irrevocable consent had been signed and there was no way we would ever lose custody of our daughter. Her birthmother was Catholic and was happy we were baptizing her. I practically begged-to no avail. The Monsignor told me not to worry, nothing will happen to the baby. I didn't think anything would. My father said they were fishing for a bigger donation. I left the rectory with a deep sense of sadness. Would Jesus have refused to baptize an innocent baby? Why is the baby being punnished-she did nothing wrong. The Catholic church should be more worried about being sued over children being touched and molested by priests! That's the reality!

I was shocked and devastated. I had been attending that church faithfully for 15 years. I contacted the church where I went as a teenager and was married at-they wanted a letter from my parish-so I was back to square one. I contacted another local church that I head baptizes adopted children. They said they would gladly do it. I made the arrangements, did make a donation and was happy to have my daughter baptized at 4 months old instead of a year old, which is how old she would have been had I waited until finalization papers came through. I was so happy. They did not know me from a hole in the wall, I never was a parishioner there, but they were very nice to me. The priest even wore vestments with children on them. It was very important to me that she be baptized at a few months old.

Christmas and Easter have come and gone and I still cannot step foot in my parish. Seeing the Monsignor who refused to baptize her upsets me. My family says I am over reacting. I don't think so. I was was the one who was denied to my face. My dilemma now is what to do? Do I return to my old church and try to get past it? Do I start to attend the church that did baptize my daughter even though it's out of the way? Do I start to research becoming a Protestant?

It's things like this that make Catholics question the church and convert to other religions. People cannot believe it when I tell them they would not baptize her. I have many friends who have had the same problem, while in other parts of NY, adoptive parents can baptize their children whenever they want-even if the adoption is not final.

The Catholic Church needs to be consistent in how they handle baptizing adopted children. For now I have lost my religion and don't know how to find it again. The Pope is coming to my part of NY next week-do I care-NO!

Lia Sophia-I'm on my way!!!

I'm on my way! I had a great Lia Sophia starter party last Friday night. Over $1,000 in sales and two bookings!!! I earned lots of free jewelry I will use for samples!!!

My first party where I am the advisor is on April 18th and then my next one is April 25th! I'm excited and nervous all at the same time! I met my manager and trained with her on Friday. I received my starter kit and love the sample jewelry they sent me! I went out to Staples and bought some supplies I will need for my business.

I feel like I am really in a good place with this now! I would love to get more bookings lined up and then I would be feeling great. I went around to local supermarkets, post office and laundromats and left flyers I made up on their bulletin board. I have been spreading the news of my new business by word of mouth and so have my friends and family!

I will do everything in my power to make this business successful! I don't want to go back to a 9-5 job. I want to be available for my kids everyday!

Here's my Lia Sophia Website for anyone that wishes to browse! I'm happy to help anyone in Westchester, Putnam, or Dutchess county, NY as well as nearby CT or NJ!

Joanne's Lia Sophia website! www.jewelrybyliasophia.com