Annual APC Adoption Conference-be there November 23, 2008

If you live in the Tri-state NY area and are interested in obtaining information about domestic or international adoption, this conference is not to be missed! Lots of information to be shared about all aspects of adoption, including financing, choosing an agency, independent adoption, having a homestudy done, etc.

It's a great way to meet other people in the adoption community like adoption attorneys, social workers, agencies, other adoptive parents and hopeful adoptive parents. I can't tell you how valuable conversations with these folks are when you are trying to gather information.

Please visit the Adoptive Parent Committee's website and find out more information on the November 23rd event-it's one of the highlights of the year!

http://adoptiveparents.org

I did it! I started my own adoption advertising service!

After much thought and research, I decided to start my own adoption advertising business. I want to use my knowledge to help others that don't know where to begin when it comes to independent adoption advertising.

I have been helping people for a year and a half. Giving advise, telling them where to advertise, best way to get a toll free number, how to create a profile, etc. I really enjoy talking about and learning about adoption. Every day I learn something new!

My adoption attorneys (who I love), Nina Rumbold and Denise Seidelman have been telling my for over a year, that I just have to do this. I would be so good at it. They have been wanting to send clients my way (and have already) My family and friends are in agreement that this is a gift I have that I need to share with others.

For a reasonable hourly rate, I will place ads for hopeful adoptive parents. I will also assist with profile creation, website creation, coaching you on how to speak to a birthmother, assist with the design of adoption networking cards, and answer your toll free number, if you can't. I do not give legal advice, just adoption advertising advice. I can help you start to make contact with potential birthmothers.

For more information, please visit my website at:

http://adoptionadvertising.net

What made me smile yesterday...

Being at my older daughter's school yesterday made me smile. It was my first time volunteering at the school bookstore which is only open 1/2 hour on Mondays and Wednesdays. Kids can come with their money and buy pencils, notebooks, erasers, highlighters. etc. for a small price and "shop". It's run by the PTA. As soon as I get there and ask for the key the school secretary tells me there is going to be a planned fire drill in 5 minutes (at least she gave me heads up).

The bell rings, I lock up the "store" (which is more like a supply closet) and go out the nearest exit, where I see my daughter's class leaving. She forgot I was going to be in her school and gets all excited to see me. I had to laugh-I haven't had a school fire drill in over 20 years. They seem to have them often at our school, especially when the weather is good. I found it so amusing, I just had to smile. Almost like a blast from the past, I got to relive an elementary school moment.

The fire drill killed 1/2 the time the store was to be opened, but after everyone got back in the building, I did have two "customers". One little blond boy was so cute. He had a $20 bill all crumpled up in his pocket and he wanted to buy a 50 cent pencil. I counted out $19.50 in change and told him not to lose the change and to make sure he gave it to his parents. He told me the $20 was his allowance! He was so cute and proud of his purchase, I just had to smile. Two smiles in half an hour!

I've waited for days of volunteering at school all my life and I'm happy to say, I am enjoying them! I'm lucky enough to get to do it for two kids! I'll be an old pro by the time my baby gets to kindergarten!

It took 13 years but....

OJ Simpson was found guilty and will serve jail time!!!! 13 years to the day when he smiled after they found him not guilty for the murder of his wife and her friend Ron Goldman. Thirteen years since he got away with murder, and we all know that he did. I remember that day as if it were yesterday. I remember working at home, being in my apartment, with my very heavy, large black and white laptop. Peering over the table waiting for the verdict to be announced. I thought for sure they would find him guilty. How naive I must have been at 26 years old.

When they announced the verdict my jaw dropped and I sat there in disbelief and anger. I can remember exactly where I was standing. It's almost the way people remember where they were when JFK was shot. I was angry that he would get away with this because he bought his way out of it. Angry because his children now had no mother and he was to blame. Angry because the justice system has failed as far as I was concerned.

The majority of Americans believe he was guilty of murdering his wife and Ron Goldman that that may have hurt him is his recent armed robbery trial in Las Vegas. Nobody has liked OJ since. I hope they throw the book at him and give him the maximum sentence. I hope he lives the rest of his life in prison. He'll probably just get a few years and then be out, but at least he will have to serve time-many people don't care if it is for armed robbery and not for murder. He finally will sit behind bars! Long, long overdue.

What do I want to be when I grow up???

I have been out of work 17 months. I have been looking for a job feverishly for the last four months applying to 10 jobs a week or so. Daycare will be very costly, jobs are paying less than a few years ago and they want you to work your butt off for no overtime. I have been layed off from major corporations twice in six years due to downsizing.

I like the benefits, social aspect and regular paychecks of a job at a large company. I don't like office politics, being denied vacation days and missing out on my kids lives. Every night I go to bed trying to decide-Do I really want another 9-5 job or do I want to try to do my own thing and start my own business.

For over a year now, my adoption lawyers have been telling me how great I would be at starting my own adoption advertising business. I would enjoy working from home, not paying daycare and making my own schedule. They would refer clients to me who need help with profiles, websites and advertising. I could place ads on their behalf. I did extensive research and demographics research on hundreds of newspapers last year, why let it go to waste right? Everybody in my family and all my friends say it's a no brainer and I should do this. Why am I so hesitant and afraid. I don't have much to lose. I have all the skills and knowledge to put this into action. I keep making excuses instead of making the decision to do this.

My heart is so into adoption. I often advise people at no charge. I find it hard to charge for my time and services, but I will have to get over that. I would be so happy to help people and know I have changed their lives. On the flip side, if the results aren't positive, I will feel bad for my clients. I guess I have to learn to separate my heart from my head a bit.

I can't keep mulling this over. I need to make a decision. I am wasting hours every week looking for and applying to jobs in a terrible job market. Domestic adoption is on the rise and there are lots of families out there who I could be helping. This is a great time to start up such a business and my attorneys believe in me so much, they are willing to sit down with me and take time out of their busy schedule to get me started. I guess it's time to start believing in myself and follow my heart into what I hope becomes a fulfilling career.

American Girl has ticked me off!

The other day my 11 year old niece was over and we were looking at the American Girl website. I want to buy my youngest daughter a bitty baby soon and we joked last year how Jenna looked exactly like the blond haired bitty baby they sold LAST YEAR. I emphasize last year, because it seems in the last few months, they changed the blond bitty baby and the eyes are no longer blue. They are blue-grey now, but honestly, they look light green. I called American Girl and asked if they have any of the retired blond bitty babies in stock for sale. Of course they don't.

Now if I want to buy the bitty baby that looks like my daughter, I will have to search ebay and probably pay $100 with shipping for a $42 doll. I am so ticked. Maybe people will complain and they will bring back the blue eyed baby.

Here is the bitty baby I want that they sold for years with blue eyes!























Here is the new, current blond bitty baby with what I think are green eyes:

A day or milestones...

Well today my girls both celebrated milestones. My older daughter had her first dance class for the year, and is now starting her third year of dance. She loved her class and is now taking ballet, tap and jazz. She still has the same dance teacher and was happy that most of the girls were from her class last year. I had to take the annual picture of her in her dance outfit as I do every year on the first day of dance class!

























My younger daughter celebrated a milestone too-she turned 16 months old today! She may not look it, but my fireball is getting older and more mature every month! Of course, I had to take her monthly picture of her too. Now she rarely sits still and it hard to catch her posing! My favorite ended up being one in the high chair!



















That's my girls-making me proud every day!!!

Our cruise on the Love Boat...

On Saturday, September 13th, was our 16th wedding anniversary. Months ago, we decided to book a one night cruise to nowhere on the Norwegian Cruise Line Spirit, out of NYC. My parents watched our girls for a weekend and we were off to celebrate 16 years of wedded bliss!

I had never been on a cruise before and was in awe of the port itself (there were two other cruise ships "parked next to us". Our ship had 13 floors, 11 restaurants and lots of stuff to do. Our room was small as we got the basic room with no porthole. I guess you could say we were in steerage! It was fine for one night. Better than I thought actually. I am claustrophobic and wanted to see how I could hand the small room-I was fine. We were barely in the room!

The food was great, the entertainment was great and it was nice to spend 24 hours not making bottles, cutting up food, changing diapers and telling kids what to do. We had a really great time on our cruise! We were very mature and made fun of the safety video playing in our room and had to try on the lifejackets just for fun! I really enjoyed my husband's company and we were so relaxed not thinking of the kids for one day.

This was a test and since we both liked the cruise, we will consider a longer one to a further away destination! Maybe a four day cruise next??? This is where it comes in handy to have a sister that is a travel agent! Here's a few pictures we took!!!

The shops and promenade on the Spirit


















View of the west side of NYC at pier 88 (near Intrepid Museum)


















Not bad for a picture taken by the camera on a timer! Love the fake window!

It's September 11th-again...

Just about every year since September 11, 2001, I have watched some, if not all, of the reading of the names of those that died at the World Trade Center attacks. It's been seven years, but those families will always come out to the memorial ceremony. This year, some rather young children read names and then did it in memory of their father who died on 9/11. From how old they look, they probably barely remember him. Every year, what those family members say, often brings me to tears. Lives lost to soon. Children missing fathers, wives missing husbands, sisters missing brothers, and friends missing friends.

I am lucky, we did not lose anyone close to us on 9/11. I feel grateful for that. I also feel sadness every year for the thousands of people I never met, but yet feel their loss. Hearing their name, seeing a small picture, their age, and where they were from, makes it real. They were people with lives. If it weren't were fate, I could have been a grieving widow. My entire life would have been radically and tragically altered. God spared our family this pain. Other families were not so fortunate.

This year, I had to explain 9/11 to my oldest daughter, who was asked to where red, white and blue to school today. I gave a brief explanation of what happened. I didn't think a five year old needed to be frightened with images, she just needed to know it's a day to remember and to celebrate being an American. I'm sure in years to come, I will have to explain in further detail what happened to both my daughters. I don't look forward to that, but it's a part of life and now a part of history. A sad part of history.

If I live to be 100, I will always remember what I was doing when I heard of the 9/11 attacks. I will never forget.

Happy Anniversary Grandma and Grandpa

Today is my grandparents actual wedding anniversary-62 years! WOW!!!!! It seems like just yesterday, they held a big 40th anniversary party-like a wedding! That was 22 years ago. My grandparents were afraid they would not make a 50th anniversary and had a big 40th so they could enjoy their party while they were healthy enough to dance.

Luckily, in spite of some healthy crisis's my grandparents are still in relatively good health and go out and do things almost every day. My grandfather is now 91 and my grandmother 81. We got the whole clan together to celebrate yesterday-the children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. We were 23 people in total I think. We had a wonderful dinner and it was nice to see my cousins and their kids. We ranged in age from the youngest (my daughter, who is one), to the oldest (Grandpa at 91). The youngest generation is made up of eight girls, all under the age of 11! My grandfather is still waiting for a great grandson!!!

I am lucky enough to come from a stable family where couples stay married for the duration. Last week, my parents celebrated 40 years of marriage and next week my husband and I will celebrate 16 years of marriage. My aunts and uncles are all married 35 plus years. Marriage isn't always easy-almost every couple married for many years has been through ups and downs. They only tell their closest family and friends-infertility, financial woes, health problems, loss of a child, strains of working, difficulties raising children, learning to compromise, and still loving each other through the journey.

It seems like the good times, the fun times and the love make all the bad times seem like distant memories. I can still remember our first few years married, some of the great trips we took, some of the silly things we did and the fun we had being young and in love. Although it's easy to take anniversaries for granted, we shouldn't.

We should celebrate each and every one. In this day and age, a lasting marriage is something to be celebrated. So here's to you-my grandparents-for setting such a fine example of what marriage and love are!

My big girl's first day of school...

Well my older Daughter boarded the bus today for her first day of kindergarten. She's been waiting for this for years-literally! I know she's fine-my Mom works at the school and called me to say she's doing great! I don't know who is more excited-Jac or my Mom!

We were married over 10 years when by some miracle Jacqueline did come along. There were many many days I cried thinking I would never get the joy of putting my child on the bus on the first day of school. I have looked forward to this day for years. It's great to experience the "firsts" as a parent. I love that I get to do it one more time with Jenna and experience all the "firsts" one last time.

Being a parent-no matter how you become a parent-is soooo wonderful!

Here are a few pictures of my daughter waiting for and boarding the bus! Thanks for looking!

Happy Birthday Dad...

We just got home from celebrating my father's 61st birthday. 13 of us altogether gathered for dinner and cake and a little craziness. Things get crazy when you have people together that range in age from 91 to one!

This year was a special year. Usually a 61st birthday isn't, but for us it was. In early June, he had a very serious heart attack. He's had two stents put in his heart in two separate surgeries. This summer has not been an easy one for our family, especially my parents. Although he has a few issues that will need to be addressed with his heart in years to come, we are happy he's alive, OK and back to work. We all chipped in and got him an Nikon D80 digital camera and lenses, camera bag etc. It's backordered, so I had to make a computer printout of the gift. He's really excited. We normally would not have splurged, but we know how much he wanted it and we realized time is precious.

I've spent a lot of time this summer worrying about my Dad, it was nice to celebrate for a change. Tomorrow we get to celebrate my parents 40th anniversary!


Here's a picture of my father and his four granddaughters. Hopefully, these little ones are the reason he takes care of himself and lives a long life!

Gone baby Gone

Caylee Anthony is gone, baby, gone. I had been meaning to see the movie for a while now and finally got around to it. When you have two young daughters, it's scary to think they could be abducted in the blink of an eye. I liked the movie and I couldn't help but think of poor missing Caylee Anthony. I have been following her case since the start.

Forensic evidence came back yesterday proving a decomposing body was in the back of her mother's car-almost certainly indicating that Caylee is dead. It didn't come as a surprise to me or many others. I held out a glimmer of hope that someone still had her alive and was hiding her.

In the movie Gone Baby Gone, a four year old goes missing. The poor girl led a miserable life and would have been better off being adopted by a loving family. She is found alive at the end and returned to her mother to continue her life, filled with unhappiness, loneliness and lack of affection. Had Casey Anthony decided to place her baby for adoption before she was born, that little girl would have just celebrated a third birthday with a family that adored her and could have been enjoying the last carefree days of summer. A life that could have been saved. Caylee-you deserved so much better!

I hope they recover her body soon, where ever her mother buried or discarded it. Her grandparents and uncle seemed to care and I'm sure would like to have a proper funeral and burial for her. As for Casey Anthony-I have no use for her. She is a mentally ill, sociopath who loved partying and men more then her own daughter.

There are couples and families who would do ANYTHING to adopt a baby and love them unconditionally. Then there are parents who kill, abuse and discard their children with no appreciation for the gift God has given them. The world is full of injustices.

Just like a tattoo...

I'll always have you..............Jordin Sparks said it best.

I have to admit, I have been thinking a lot about getting a tattoo lately. I have always wanted one. Years ago, I would have picked my alter ego-Snoopy as Joe Cool and put it on my ankle. I still may do it, but right now I want to memorialize my two babies lost to miscarriages in 2006. I have been looking at designs, but am undecided. Maybe cherubs, maybe hearts with angel wings, I'm not sure at all. Looking online can make your mind spin-so many designs, websites, things to think of. I think I have narrowed it down a bit, but need to give it more thought since it will be permanent.

I'm hoping it will help me heal a bit. I think of them every single day. For my husband the pain is not as real. He thinks I am overreacting when I even bring up the miscarriages. Tomorrow would have been my first angel's 2nd birthday. She was due to be born by C-Section on 8/25/06. I should have been having a 2nd birthday party today and not thinking about how to memorialize angels I never met.

I did see a beautiful image of two angels that reminded me of my two girls. My beautiful brunette and my angelic blondie. Here's the image that reminds of my my angels here on earth!

I got my text message from Barack Obama....

at 3:30 AM!!!!!!!!!!! I was sleeping and heard by cell phone go off that I had a text. I know nobody would text me at that time. It was either the VP decision I signed up for or an Amber alert. It was the VP decision. I was not surprised by his choice to pick Joe Biden and was actually disappointed in 1) receiving a text that woke me up and 2) that he did not pick Hillary Clinton. Needless to say, I just shut my cell phone off for the rest of the night and went back to bed. A very anti climatic decision if you ask me.

Supposedly there was a leak that forced the Obama camp to send out there text after 3AM Eastern time. Most expected the text to come this morning, when people are awake.

Much ado about nothing....hopefully, I will get a better night's sleep tonight!

I love facebook...

I just signed up for facebook the other day, after a friend invited me. I was so surprised to find out lots of people I know were on it, unlike myspace. I guess it's more user friendly to us old farts in our upper 30s! I have to say, it's easier to use.

I connected with some old college friends, old high school friends, old co-workers, current friends and even some old grammar school friends. It's great to know I can reach out to them and see how they are doing now. I love seeing the pictures of my friends and their families. I was reluctant to sign up for a long time, but I am glad I did. I do encourage it, especially if you are planning a reunion of some kind and hoping to contact people you've been out of touch with for a while.

It's cool to see how everyone has their circle of friends and how they have a few friends in common with you-it's like 6 degrees of separation! Great for social networking!

The Olympics should be for amateurs....

Up until 1988, the Olympics were for amateurs. It was their time to shine. The young non professional athletes waited their whole life to possibly become a household name. For the past 20 years, the Olympics has become a mix of professional athletes and amateurs and I don't think it's fair.

That's what made the Olympics exciting-young, undiscovered talent hoping to win their country the Gold medal. Mark Spitz, Bruce Jenner, Eric Heiden and the 1980 Mens Hockey team will forever stand out in my mind-my childhood Olympic heros. Unknowns rising to be American heros. Making our country proud and encouraging the youth of our country to go for the Gold.

In this summer Olympics, we have pro tennis players, some countries have pro baseball players and of course pro basketball players. The US did not send our best pro baseball players-they are too greedy to take two weeks off and miss two weeks pay to make our country proud. They are already "discovered" and well paid. Pro hockey takes a break during winter Olympics so athletes can represent their team in the Olympics.

I personally like watching womens softball the best. I can relate, I played softball. For these women, this is as good as it gets and the highlight of their career. Once a player graduates from college, there isn't anywhere to go. No leagues, no going pro. Women of all ages from all parts of the country playing together in hopes of medaling!

I hope people around the world appreciate the dedication these athletes have for their sport. I hope a new breed of Olympic heros rises and that they are the amateurs. Pros have the endorsements already, millions of fans and multi-million dollar paychecks. They don't need another pat on the back. Let and up and coming athlete have a moment of glory.

Happy Birthday Caylee Anthony

Happy Birthday Caylee! Today you turn 3! You should be celebrating with friends and family. A party with cake and ice cream, lots of balloons, maybe even a clown. Instead of today being a day of celebration, it's just marks one more day that you are missing. Nobody has seen or heard from you since mid June. A web of lies and deceit makes the investigation more complex. A nation is concerned for you, but we are all helpless. The only one who holds to the key to where you are is your mother and she's not talking. Millions of people are thinking of you and praying for you today-just know that you are loved.

With each passing day, the prospect of finding you alive grows dimmer. As a parent of two young girls, I am fascinated and disgusted, all at the same time, by your disappearance. My heart aches for you-a young, innocent soul, who should be enjoying a care free childhood. If one of my girls were missing for a hour, I'd by hysterical. You're missing for 7 weeks, yet your mother only talks of herself and found time to party, shortly after you went missing. Right now you are a lost soul. I hope you are found so we have closure to the mystery that surrounds you.

Whether you are somewhere on this earth, or up in heaven-Happy Birthday to you!

What happened to Fat March???

There was a show on last summer that I loved-it was called Fat March. I was hoping it would come back this summer. It was a show about overweight people that were picked to participate in the game, with a prize based on how many team members made it to the finish. The contestants had to walk a certain distance in a certain number of hours every day. Everyone lost lots of weight. They were working with personal trainers and their meals were very healthy. Unfortunately every night they had to sleep in tents. That must just kill you after walking all day.

I loved the show and found it inspirational. I was hoping it would come back, but it didn't. Oh well, I'll just have to wait until The Biggest Loser returns for my fix of reality TV dieting!!

The search for Caylee Anthony

I have been following the Caylee Anthony story very closely since it first broke. I hope her mother remains in jail. She is obstructing justice to say the least. She shows no concern about her daughter and is more concerned about herself. She did not report her daughter missing for over a month??? I would by hysterical if one of my daughters were missing for an hour. I would be distraught and probably unable to function. I would be begging everyone to look for her, pleading for her safe return. Casey Anthony has not done this. I think her parents are enabling her or covering up for her. They know more than they lead us to believe. They have not been direct in talking to the authorities.

I hope investigators know more than they are letting on. They are no closer to finding Caylee than when she was first reporting missing. The truth is, more than likely, poor Caylee is probably dead at the hands of her mother or her mother's boyfriend. Casey knows where she is-probably buried somewhere in a shallow grave. Tell us what you know-come clean-tell the truth. Let's put this case to rest.

Was Caylee sold for money? Was there ever a nanny? Did she die in an accident and you are covering it up? Was she killed intentionally? Is she being held for ransom and you are afraid to speak up? Did you want to get rid of her, so you could party like other 22 year olds?

There's more to the story-let's hear it. There are thousands of couples who would have adopted your little girl if you no longer wanted to be her mother. She deserved better than what she got. I hope I am wrong, but my gut tells me this little girl has been dead for weeks. I pray I am wrong!