I survived! Friday night was a casual mixer at a bar. I brought my friend and fellow graduate Randi with me. She wasn't going to come, but had a blast. By 12:30 I was ready to go home. She stayed out till 3AM. I'll too old for that.
The girls looked good. Easy to tell whose who, many of them looked the same or very much the same. The guys-that's another story. Many of them, it was hard to tell who they were. Most of them were balder, if not completely bald, looked different and were heavier. There were some exceptions and I did see some "hottie" guys, but it was a little shocking.
The talk was "where do you live?", "Are you married?", "where do you work?", and "How many kids do you have?" I was so happy to say I have two beauiful girls. I was glad to see some people, there were others I never talked to in High School and really had nothing to say 20 years later.
Satuday night was the formal event. Dinner, DJ, the whole shabang. My husband decided last minute not to go. I was fine with that. He never went to my High School and knew nobody. He's also very shy. I brought Randi again and we had a good time. Some people that were not there Friday night came. It was nice to see how many people came from far away. It was sad to learn two members of our class had passed away, one just a few years ago, and rather suddenly. He was at the 10 year reunion and was very good looking and popular in high school.
It was great catching up with people. There was a slide show featuring pictures from high school! There was another slide show featuring pictures of graduates with their families/kids now. Too bad I did not know, I could have sent in a picture of my girls! I talked to the guy I graduated with who used to live in my house (we bought if from his parents in 1999). That was funny-he wanted to know if I was taking care of his house! The two guys I LOVED throughout high school did not come to the reunion, so I was a little bummed.
I had a good time talking to the ladies that still live in the area and we are going to get together with our kids soon. Many of these people, I won't see again for another 5 or 10 year, whenever the next reunion is. I hope to go to the next reunion thinner and more confident. Not having been in shape was a real downer for me and I was kind of self conscious. I wasn't the only woman there who shops in Lane Bryant, let's just put it that way.
I'll be turning heads at the next reunion!!!!
Monday, July 30, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Kudos to my brother!
My brother is such a great guy! He just came back from vacation and flew in from Myrtle Beach, SC. He ate dinner and insisted on stopping by to see family and drop off their souveniers. That was so nice of him considering what a busy day he had and he still had to drive another 35 minutes north to get home.
He bought us a lovely picture frame with a lighthouse. He gave Jacqueline two necklaces, one of a turtle an one of a butterfly-which she loved! He managed to find Jenna a sippy cup with her name on it. It's so cool! He was headed to my sister's house to give his other two neices their trinkets. He's so thoughtful. I am so glad he's Jenna's Godfather. He was so glad Jac liked her gifts. He made him try each necklace on her-it was so cute. He helps my two neices regularly with art projects and does an awesome job.
He's such a great brother and Uncle. He's 32. We hope he meets someone soon and gets married someday. He would make a great husband and father. Here's a selfless plug for my brother. He's 32, single, Catholic, in retail management, works hard, doesn't drink or do drugs. He's working on losing a few pounds. His biggest problem is he is shy. Approaching women and asking for a date will never be his thing. I am encouraging him to join e harmoney or match.com, but he's not one to check his email very often.
Here's a picture of him. If you know any nice, single women in their mid to late 20's or early 30's, in the Hudson Valley area of NY, feel free to contact him through his myspace page...which he just set up.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
OK where do I complain about shopping carts???
Yes, I am totall annoyed with the manufacturers of grocery shopping carts. I often shop at the A&P. The first time I took Jenna in her carrier, I was going to place her in the front and put my groceries in the bottom of the cart. WRONG!!! Because of the ads for real estate agents, insurance agents and mortgage brokers, my Graco carrier that 3 1/2 years ago fit perfectly in the front of the cart, no longer does. It must be the stupid ads on the cart. That's the difference and why they no longer fit. The first time I tried shopping with Jenna, I was in denial and kept trying to make it fit. I finally gave up and just put her in the bottom of the cart (poor thing). Luckily my husband was with me. He took a separate cart for the groceries. The same thing happened to us in Acme Supermarket in NJ.
I think it's terrible! They say they have wagons with carriers attached. They do. They are dirty and disgusting and I am not ever placing my baby in that carrier. Forget it.
I seriously want to complain! When I go to Walmart, Home Depot and BJs her carrier fits-but they don't have ads on the cart. I guess money and greed are more important then people, safety and concern for customers.
Am I the only one that has had this problem with a carrier and shopping carts???
I think it's terrible! They say they have wagons with carriers attached. They do. They are dirty and disgusting and I am not ever placing my baby in that carrier. Forget it.
I seriously want to complain! When I go to Walmart, Home Depot and BJs her carrier fits-but they don't have ads on the cart. I guess money and greed are more important then people, safety and concern for customers.
Am I the only one that has had this problem with a carrier and shopping carts???
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Back from vacation!
Yes, we are back from our 5 day vacation. The weather in Wildwood Crest was very nice. Sunny and hot. Every day was a beach day. We spent much less time at the beach this year. Jenna is too young for sunblock and very fair. We covered her up and put her under the umbrella, but still I was worried the rays would get to her. Sometimes my husband and Jacqueline went to the beach or pool and I stayed in the room with the baby. Oh well, we knew it was going to be challenging this year. I made our plans before I knew Jenna was coming into our lives. I did not think it was fair to Jacqueline not to go on vacation at all. We usually go with family, but this year we were on our own, which did not help.
I did not have to cook and did have a nice view of the ocean! We spent quality time all cozy in one room! It was a nice change of scenery. We used to spend hours and hours on the beach before kids! Eat at fancy restaurants and go to Atlantic City at night-those were the days! We'll do that again-in about 20 years!
Even with limited time in the sun, I was still happy to be there. The last time we were in Wildwood was the last week of August, 2006. It rained almost every day-we could not go to the beach-the weather sucked. To make matters worse, I had taken clomid and we were actively TTC that week, even with family in other bedrooms. We just did it because we had to. I also was to have a C section on August 25, 2006, but lost that baby at nearly 10 weeks. That thought really played in my mind last year. It was a depressing vacation across the board. Ironically, we believe Jenna was conceived that same week and unknown to us, our daughter was created. This was a MUCH better vacation.
Next year, I can slather Jenna with sunblock and spend more time on the beach. But on the flip side, she will probably be toddling around and we will be chasing after her. I have come to the conclusion that mothers never have a vacation. I was still doing all my motherly duties-just somewhere else. I wouldn't have it any other way. I still pinch myself sometimes. For years I dreamed of being on the beach with my two kids and this year, my dream became a reality.
We feel incredibly fortunate to have our two miracle girls!
A vacation with just me and my hubby would be relaxing, but I don't think I would know what to do with myself LOL!
Vacation was fun, but THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!
I did not have to cook and did have a nice view of the ocean! We spent quality time all cozy in one room! It was a nice change of scenery. We used to spend hours and hours on the beach before kids! Eat at fancy restaurants and go to Atlantic City at night-those were the days! We'll do that again-in about 20 years!
Even with limited time in the sun, I was still happy to be there. The last time we were in Wildwood was the last week of August, 2006. It rained almost every day-we could not go to the beach-the weather sucked. To make matters worse, I had taken clomid and we were actively TTC that week, even with family in other bedrooms. We just did it because we had to. I also was to have a C section on August 25, 2006, but lost that baby at nearly 10 weeks. That thought really played in my mind last year. It was a depressing vacation across the board. Ironically, we believe Jenna was conceived that same week and unknown to us, our daughter was created. This was a MUCH better vacation.
Next year, I can slather Jenna with sunblock and spend more time on the beach. But on the flip side, she will probably be toddling around and we will be chasing after her. I have come to the conclusion that mothers never have a vacation. I was still doing all my motherly duties-just somewhere else. I wouldn't have it any other way. I still pinch myself sometimes. For years I dreamed of being on the beach with my two kids and this year, my dream became a reality.
We feel incredibly fortunate to have our two miracle girls!
A vacation with just me and my hubby would be relaxing, but I don't think I would know what to do with myself LOL!
Vacation was fun, but THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
My dream was a visitation
I had a vivid dream last night and I know it was more than just a dream-it was a visit. It was incredibly lucid and clear. I have had them before-not in a while. I talked with and saw this deceased person and felt a sense of calm and happiness when I woke up? Has anyone ever had this happen to them? I KNOW I have a 6th sense and can sense things other people cannot. I have a connection to the afterworld and it warns me when I should beware and calms me when everything is going to be OK.
This dream involved my best friend from High school's mother, who died in 1990 of lung cancer. When I met her in 1983, she was probably 50, but years of smoking had aged her skin and I thought she looked older then her age. To me she looked old, but when you are 14 everyone looks old. She was always very fond of me and I think somewhat amused. I spent countless hours at their house when I was in High School. In the dream, she looked about 35. I remember her skin was so soft and perfect and unwrinkled in the dream. She was smiling and laughing and talking to me on the front steps of my parents house. I don't know what we were talking about, but she was so happy and beautiful, that's all I remember. When I woke up, I felt a sense of calm and happiness. I really felt as if I had talked to her and visited with her. I emailed her daughter, who I was best friends with in High school and told her the whole dream. I am curious to see what her response is.
I felt as if I had received a blessing of sorts from her. Maybe it's because I recently adopted and her other daughter had adopted almost 20 years ago? Was a sign I needed to reach out to my old friend. I don't know, but I know it was more than a dream. It was a visit. Maybe she knows I would be receptive of her visit. The word visitation may be incorrect and I don't want to offend anyone, but that is the best way to describe it.
Did my friend have a similar dream? Why did I have this dream? I had not thought of her in quite some time. Nobody even mentioned her name to me. I guess there is a higher purpose!
This dream involved my best friend from High school's mother, who died in 1990 of lung cancer. When I met her in 1983, she was probably 50, but years of smoking had aged her skin and I thought she looked older then her age. To me she looked old, but when you are 14 everyone looks old. She was always very fond of me and I think somewhat amused. I spent countless hours at their house when I was in High School. In the dream, she looked about 35. I remember her skin was so soft and perfect and unwrinkled in the dream. She was smiling and laughing and talking to me on the front steps of my parents house. I don't know what we were talking about, but she was so happy and beautiful, that's all I remember. When I woke up, I felt a sense of calm and happiness. I really felt as if I had talked to her and visited with her. I emailed her daughter, who I was best friends with in High school and told her the whole dream. I am curious to see what her response is.
I felt as if I had received a blessing of sorts from her. Maybe it's because I recently adopted and her other daughter had adopted almost 20 years ago? Was a sign I needed to reach out to my old friend. I don't know, but I know it was more than a dream. It was a visit. Maybe she knows I would be receptive of her visit. The word visitation may be incorrect and I don't want to offend anyone, but that is the best way to describe it.
Did my friend have a similar dream? Why did I have this dream? I had not thought of her in quite some time. Nobody even mentioned her name to me. I guess there is a higher purpose!
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Who should host THE PRICE IS RIGHT??
Well I know who should NOT host it-Rosie O'Donnell. Thank God that's not happening. I swear I would never watch it again and I do love that show. I think John O'Hurley (better known as Mr. Peterman from Seinfeld) would make a great host, but that's just my feelings!
I did watch the last episode of The Price is Right. That last contestant raked in the big bucks! I felt like an era was ending. My grandparents who are now deceased LOVED to watch the Price is Right. I think their worlds stopped at 11AM every morning to watch it. I felt like a personal era of my own was ending with Bob Barker retiring. I guess I will always have fond memories of my Grandma Mary in the recliner yelling at prices! A new era will soon begin!
I did watch the last episode of The Price is Right. That last contestant raked in the big bucks! I felt like an era was ending. My grandparents who are now deceased LOVED to watch the Price is Right. I think their worlds stopped at 11AM every morning to watch it. I felt like a personal era of my own was ending with Bob Barker retiring. I guess I will always have fond memories of my Grandma Mary in the recliner yelling at prices! A new era will soon begin!
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Update on my girls!
My blogging is way behind! Last weekend Jacqueline had her long awaited dance receital. She looked terrific and danced well-we were so proud of her. When she danced to "I hope you dance", it was one of the best four minutes of my life. Absolutely priceless. She did wear makeup for the first time. It was recommended as the stage lights tend to make the girls look pale. Here's my ballerina girl! Where have the 4 1/2 year gone!On June 21, Jenna went to the pediatrician for her one month checkup. She is now 7 pounds 2 oz ( u p from birthweight of 5 pounds 8 oz) and 20 inches (up for 19 inches). She's in the 25th percentile for height and weight and 50th for head circumference. She is healthy and
doing great! We are so blessed and thrilled to have her. I have no doubt she was destined to be our daughter! Here she is as 25 days old. We're using this picture for the baby announcement!Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Sorry-here's part two of our adoption story
Sorry that a day turned into a week and a half but here is the rest of the story...
We walked into the hospital and asked for our birthmother. A nurse led us to the room and there she was holding Jenna. I was a little taken back because she originally said she would not hold her. She said she was crying and she gave her some formula. I am glad she did spend a few hours with her. I was taken back with how tiny, but beautiful Jenna was. For a baby delivered with a quik naturally delivery, she looked great. No cone head or marks on her. She was perfect. After two minutes, her birthmom said to me "Here's your daughter Mom, come and hold her!" The words I had waited to hear! We hung out with her birthmom that afternoon and all stayed in the same room with the baby.
Her best friend came by and we met him, which was nice, since she spoke so much about him. He took her home. She left the hospital less then 7 hours after giving birth. Her 6 year old daughter, who knew nothing of the pregnancy, was being dropped off by her Dad. She was such a trooper. I think it was easier on her if she left the hospital quickly. I walked with the nurse as she wheeled her downstairs. I hugged her when she got in the car and cried as I got into the elevator with the nurse. I told her I would think of her every day of my life and we were so thankful for this gift of our daughter. I cried for her, a mother leaving the hospital empty handed. I really broke down in the elevator. Here was a single mom, struggling financially, she worked, took good care of her six year old, was not a druggie or alcohol. Just a hardworking single mom who could not afford another kid. Under difference circumstances, I would have been friends with her.
She did come back to the hospital the next day with a friend who was dying to see the baby. Her friend held the baby for a while and then we asked if she did. She held Jenna like 10 seconds and started to break down. She handed her back to me and said she had to leave, it was too much for her. That is the last time she saw the baby and I think she knew it would be the last time she saw her in person for a long, long time. It was so sad.
On Tuesday, May 22nd, they released Jenna to us and we took her home from the hospital and to the hotel. My inlaws and four year old daughter came up that afternoon and Jacqueline met her little sister for the first time, it was quite a moment. She loved her from the minute she saw her. She was so ready to be a big sister.
On Thursday May 24th, we were notified that Jenna's birthmom went to court and relinquished her rights. It was the great news we had been waiting for. I heard it was incredibly hard for her at court and she did breakdown. We had more family come up Memorial Day weekend. It was nice to see family and they were so excited for us. On Tuesday, May 29th, we got a call from our attorney that ICPC clearance came through and we could leave. We called our birthmom and told her and she came to our hotel to say goodbye. I met her daugther and she met our older daughter in person. We had bought her and her daughter a few gifts.
We left right after that and headed home. We got home 10 pm that night, but were so happy to be home. We felt so lucky for how smoothly everything went and how fortunate we are in general. We are now a family of four! I an still in shock!
Monday, June 04, 2007
So much has happened-we have a daughter-part one
I have not logged anything in weeks-so much has happened. Long story short, we have a daughter!!! Our beautiful daughter Jenna was born May 20th, 2007. She weighed 5 pounds 8 oz and was 19 inches tall. She is beautiful and healthy and we are still in amazement at how perfectly everything worked out.
In spite of how promising everything looked, I still refused to get excited. Things progressed. On 5/17 she called to say she was in labor and they thought she would deliver that night. We headed up to NH and checked into a hotel. By Saturday the 19th, nothing was happening. We were bored and anxious and missing our DD. I was sleeping with clothes on every night LOL. We met for lunch and said bye to her on Saturday. We joked that we'd pull into our driveway and she would call.
Well, 14 hours later, she did call. She was in labor 8 CM dialated and admitted to the hospital. It takes 4 hours to get there, so we knew we were not going to make the birth. We got grandma and grandpa to pick up our four year old and packed and headed out. She called us at 11:30 AM to say our daughter was born at 11:12AM. She told us her size and that she was beautiful and healthy. We were still three hours away-we couldn't get there fast enough.
Part two comes tomorrow!
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Adoption update....good news
We have been pursuing domestic private adoption and were homestudy approved 1/2/07. On 4/27 I got laid off from work. That night I get a call from a potential birthmother in NH. I'm at a play and don't answer. She leaves a voicemail and I return her call the next day. She never calls me back. On 5/6, I decide to follow up and call her again. We talk for over an hour and she likes us and I already like her. We mail her a profile, and within a week, she meets with the lawyer and gets things in motion. She thinks she is due in 4-6 weeks.
Our birthmother finally went to the doctor yesterday for the first time. She had no prenatal care, because she had no insurance, but everthing is perfect. She was there for like 4 hours and they packed 9 months worth of visits in one visit. We know the sex of the baby............ it's a GIRL!!!!
It gets better-according to the ultrasound....the baby was due 6 DAYS ago!!!!!! She is 3 cm dialated! She thinks she will hang in there a few more days-maybe by this weekend??? The baby was approximately 7 pounds 3 oz as of yesterday. We have no idea what we are going to name her. Whenever we head to NH, we are taking my laptop so I will be online, although very infrequently. I will try to keep everyone.
Our birthmom is wonderful. She is so glad she can do this for our family. She's thanking us for adopting the baby!
Please pray that everything goes smoothly and that we are home with our daughter very soon! Like they say, one door opens, another closes. I believe in fate and destiny and I think this baby girl was meant to be ours.
Our birthmother finally went to the doctor yesterday for the first time. She had no prenatal care, because she had no insurance, but everthing is perfect. She was there for like 4 hours and they packed 9 months worth of visits in one visit. We know the sex of the baby............ it's a GIRL!!!!
It gets better-according to the ultrasound....the baby was due 6 DAYS ago!!!!!! She is 3 cm dialated! She thinks she will hang in there a few more days-maybe by this weekend??? The baby was approximately 7 pounds 3 oz as of yesterday. We have no idea what we are going to name her. Whenever we head to NH, we are taking my laptop so I will be online, although very infrequently. I will try to keep everyone.
Our birthmom is wonderful. She is so glad she can do this for our family. She's thanking us for adopting the baby!
Please pray that everything goes smoothly and that we are home with our daughter very soon! Like they say, one door opens, another closes. I believe in fate and destiny and I think this baby girl was meant to be ours.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Is this a sign?
Well on Sunday night, I had a very nice conversation with a birthmom that is due in 5 weeks. She sounds serious about placing the baby for adoption. Our profile was overnighted yesterday and she should get it today. All we can do is cross our fingers that this turns out to be our baby and not just another disappointment.
Here's the ironic thing. I woke up this morning to what sounded like a newborn baby crying. I don't know where it came from. Our bedroom window was partially open, but nobody in the neighborhood has a baby. I thought maybe it was a kitten, but it really didn't sounds like one, it sounded like a newborn crying. I know it was not in my mind I really, really heard it. There are condos up the hill from us, so my best guess is that's where it came from. In my mind I took this as a sign of things to come. Maybe I will be waking up to the sound of a newborn crying very very soon!
Here's the ironic thing. I woke up this morning to what sounded like a newborn baby crying. I don't know where it came from. Our bedroom window was partially open, but nobody in the neighborhood has a baby. I thought maybe it was a kitten, but it really didn't sounds like one, it sounded like a newborn crying. I know it was not in my mind I really, really heard it. There are condos up the hill from us, so my best guess is that's where it came from. In my mind I took this as a sign of things to come. Maybe I will be waking up to the sound of a newborn crying very very soon!
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Celebrate!!!
It was a beautiful day yesterday in Suburban NY and my neice received First Holy Communion. She looked beautiful-like a bride! It was nice to have our family together to celebrate such a special event. We had a wonderful time at the party and the DJ played lots of games with the kids. Our daughter had a blast! The food was great. What a shame the party just flew by. I could have kept on partying!!!
Lots of people asked how the adoption process was going and are routing for us, even having spoken to some people on our behalf-I was kinda blown away by that. People are really so eager to help us-it's terrific!
At one point, my heart just sunk for my daugther. All the kids were on the dance floor and the DJ said "Quick everybody grab a partner!" All the kids on the dance floor were girls and they grabbed their sisters. My daughter looked around and realized she was the only one without a sibling to grab, shrugged her shoulders and left the dance floor. Her actions just spoke volumes.
I hope in years to come, she does have a little playmate/sibling to do things with. I pray for that every single day!
Sunday, April 29, 2007
A victim of corporate downsizing (again)
So on Friday, I became another victim of corporate downsizing. Yes I was layed off. I did get a nice severence package, but still it's not what I wanted. I was going to get $5,000 adoption assistance from this company and it was VERY close to my house.
This is the 2nd time in five years I have been layed off by a corporate downsizing. It stinks. You go to college, get educated, find a good job, only to spend your days worrying about when you will meet the grim reaper. I guess I am lucky, I think in the future, corporations will be offering little or no severence. Rumor has it that our company was going to discontinue severence in 2008.
I am fine with it. It was hard to say goodbye to dozens of people and pack my desk in a matter of hours, but I did it and I am really fine with it. I hope to focus on decluttering my house and spending more time with our daughter. I can also focus on adoption related activities as well. I was rather burned out and really can use a break.
I feel like I have been given a ticket to freedom. I think I will try my hand at my own home business (maybe ebay?) and hope to me my own boss soon, doing what I want to do.
This is the 2nd time in five years I have been layed off by a corporate downsizing. It stinks. You go to college, get educated, find a good job, only to spend your days worrying about when you will meet the grim reaper. I guess I am lucky, I think in the future, corporations will be offering little or no severence. Rumor has it that our company was going to discontinue severence in 2008.
I am fine with it. It was hard to say goodbye to dozens of people and pack my desk in a matter of hours, but I did it and I am really fine with it. I hope to focus on decluttering my house and spending more time with our daughter. I can also focus on adoption related activities as well. I was rather burned out and really can use a break.
I feel like I have been given a ticket to freedom. I think I will try my hand at my own home business (maybe ebay?) and hope to me my own boss soon, doing what I want to do.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Congrats Kyle and Crystal on your baby girl
This morning I opened by email to get a much anticipated email from my
adoption friend Crystal. The baby she is going to adopt was born on 4/24.
I got a quick email on 4/23 saying the birthmom was being induced and they were off to the airport! the gender was unknown four weeks ago when they were selected, but I correctly guessed girl! She has no name yet, but is a cutie-I saw 60 pictures of her courtesy of proud Mommy!
They were matched through Project Cuddle which is such a wonderful organization. They are the 2nd couple since Dec 2006 who I know and who has adopted with their help.
What impressed me the most about the pictures I saw were the smiles on their faces. They were glowing. They are young and have not been trying to adopt all that long, but I can tell by the smile on their faces, they were estatic! I can't wait to see more pictures of their little girl and find out what they decide to name her!
Crystal is my adoption buddy and we often referred situations to each other. She is still promoting our adoption website www.ouradoptionplan.com whenever she can!
Congrats again! I was so happy to hear the good news. This is one lucky baby girl to be raised by such loving parents!
adoption friend Crystal. The baby she is going to adopt was born on 4/24.
I got a quick email on 4/23 saying the birthmom was being induced and they were off to the airport! the gender was unknown four weeks ago when they were selected, but I correctly guessed girl! She has no name yet, but is a cutie-I saw 60 pictures of her courtesy of proud Mommy!
They were matched through Project Cuddle which is such a wonderful organization. They are the 2nd couple since Dec 2006 who I know and who has adopted with their help.
What impressed me the most about the pictures I saw were the smiles on their faces. They were glowing. They are young and have not been trying to adopt all that long, but I can tell by the smile on their faces, they were estatic! I can't wait to see more pictures of their little girl and find out what they decide to name her!
Crystal is my adoption buddy and we often referred situations to each other. She is still promoting our adoption website www.ouradoptionplan.com whenever she can!
Congrats again! I was so happy to hear the good news. This is one lucky baby girl to be raised by such loving parents!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Adoption comes with a price
I made some phone calls last week and was in contact with an adoption agency in Arkansas that can work with NY families. I was excited, because most can't and Arkansas has some great adoption laws. I sent them our names and address and they sent us an information packet, which I received yesterday. I will not mention the name of the agency, but they do many placements a year.
When I opened it up, I was outraged. There was a price list for adoptions and it was broken up into three catagories as follows:
Caucasian baby-$25,000
Biracial baby $15,000
Baby of color (I guess they mean African American) $10,000
WHAT???? Why is one baby more than another. Every baby is a precious life. I know their are a shortage of families that wish to adopt biracial or African American babies and making the price affordable would help, but this is rediculous. Why can't it be actual medical and birthmother costs plus a flat fee of say $5,000 or $10,000, which can be reduced for harder to place babies. These prices don't include traveling and all legal fees.What has become of our society? In reality, a birthmom may have medical insurance and have very little financial need. I guess they are making over $20,000 on her if she is caucasian. Less if the
baby is not full caucasian. Do they treat birthmothers carrying caucasian babies differently? I would hope not! Are they reluctant to take on birthmothers with medical bills because it cuts into their profits?
This sounds like buying a car, you can get a bare bones Nissan Sentra for $10K, an Altima for $15K and if you have the money, you can get a fancy Murano for $25K.
Putting price tags on these situations makes is seem inhumane. We are talking about people and the life of an infant here, not a financial transaction.
I guess it comes down to supply and demand. Caucasian infants are in demand And agencies and facilitators know they can get top dollar placing these babies.
Just another reason why I am in favor of independent private adoption. A birthmother can go online or read a newspaper and talk to and decide from an unlimited number of couples, who should adopt her baby. There are no hidden motives. All hopeful adoptive parents that are advertising are homestudy approved. Adoptive parents, if chosen, pay all legal, medical, counseling, as well as allowable living fees, if needed. Our attorney has done adoptions this way for as little as $6,000.
As you may have already guessed, we're not signing on with this agency.
When I opened it up, I was outraged. There was a price list for adoptions and it was broken up into three catagories as follows:
Caucasian baby-$25,000
Biracial baby $15,000
Baby of color (I guess they mean African American) $10,000
WHAT???? Why is one baby more than another. Every baby is a precious life. I know their are a shortage of families that wish to adopt biracial or African American babies and making the price affordable would help, but this is rediculous. Why can't it be actual medical and birthmother costs plus a flat fee of say $5,000 or $10,000, which can be reduced for harder to place babies. These prices don't include traveling and all legal fees.What has become of our society? In reality, a birthmom may have medical insurance and have very little financial need. I guess they are making over $20,000 on her if she is caucasian. Less if the
baby is not full caucasian. Do they treat birthmothers carrying caucasian babies differently? I would hope not! Are they reluctant to take on birthmothers with medical bills because it cuts into their profits?
This sounds like buying a car, you can get a bare bones Nissan Sentra for $10K, an Altima for $15K and if you have the money, you can get a fancy Murano for $25K.
Putting price tags on these situations makes is seem inhumane. We are talking about people and the life of an infant here, not a financial transaction.
I guess it comes down to supply and demand. Caucasian infants are in demand And agencies and facilitators know they can get top dollar placing these babies.
Just another reason why I am in favor of independent private adoption. A birthmother can go online or read a newspaper and talk to and decide from an unlimited number of couples, who should adopt her baby. There are no hidden motives. All hopeful adoptive parents that are advertising are homestudy approved. Adoptive parents, if chosen, pay all legal, medical, counseling, as well as allowable living fees, if needed. Our attorney has done adoptions this way for as little as $6,000.
As you may have already guessed, we're not signing on with this agency.
Friday, April 20, 2007
This gets me ticked off! Adoption rant!
Ok so I am surfing the net and look at adoption related information (yet again!)
I visit this facilitators site where she posts all the available situations. She posts the a brief info on the birthmother, the baby's due date, gender (if known) and baby's race.n Couples that use her can let her know if they are interested in a certain birthmother's situtation.
There is this one situtaion for a caucasian baby (gender unknown) and three couples are interested. Let me rephrase that, two couples are interested and a third is only intersted if it' s a girl! Sorry that ticks me off. I don't care if you had 10 boys at home, when you sign on to adopt you should accept a boy or girl. Either sex!
I look at it this way-if a woman is pregnant, she should love and accept the baby regardless of it's a boy or a girl. Right? There would be no chosing, you accept what God sends you. I get so ticked when I saw that-only interested if it's a girl! Adoption is about giving a baby a loving home and nurturing them for the rest of their lives, it's not about picking and choosing the perfect baby to your specifications.
I am happy to see that an overwhelming number of adoptive parents are not picky about the sex of the baby and many are open to different races, drug and alcohol exposure, mental illness history and special needs. I believe there is a family for every baby out there. No child should not have a family to shower him or her with love.
We live in NY and it seems we have cooties here. Nobody wants to work with us. I can't tell you how many situations I see on the internet that do not allow families from NY to apply. Why isn't there universal adoption law in the US? We can't use referrals, lawyer or facilitators to help us make the match. Our only options are networking, newspaper ads and internet advertising. So far all my hard work had gotten us nowhere.
I get an email of a baby boy born two months ago with serious heart problems and he is in need of an open heart surgery to repair the two holes in his heart. Of course it said "No NY families". I emailed the coordintor back and advised if nobody indicates that would like to adopt the child with medical needs, we would be interested if they can find a way to work with NY state law. We live one hour North of NYC, where there is the best caridac care. My Daughter was born with a congenital heart defect and we have been seeing a pediatric cardiologist since I was 20 weeks pregnant. We feel confident we could help this baby.
We are so eager to adopt that we would take a boy or girl and will consider all situations. We are not closed minded and picky. If I had to present my self as a birthmom when I was pregnant, the write up would not have resulted in many interested adoptive parents.
I have decided that I am helping all my online adoption buddies and am forwarding them situations that I see that would be good for them, most of which we are ineligible for. I know it will come back to me 10 fold.
I visit this facilitators site where she posts all the available situations. She posts the a brief info on the birthmother, the baby's due date, gender (if known) and baby's race.n Couples that use her can let her know if they are interested in a certain birthmother's situtation.
There is this one situtaion for a caucasian baby (gender unknown) and three couples are interested. Let me rephrase that, two couples are interested and a third is only intersted if it' s a girl! Sorry that ticks me off. I don't care if you had 10 boys at home, when you sign on to adopt you should accept a boy or girl. Either sex!
I look at it this way-if a woman is pregnant, she should love and accept the baby regardless of it's a boy or a girl. Right? There would be no chosing, you accept what God sends you. I get so ticked when I saw that-only interested if it's a girl! Adoption is about giving a baby a loving home and nurturing them for the rest of their lives, it's not about picking and choosing the perfect baby to your specifications.
I am happy to see that an overwhelming number of adoptive parents are not picky about the sex of the baby and many are open to different races, drug and alcohol exposure, mental illness history and special needs. I believe there is a family for every baby out there. No child should not have a family to shower him or her with love.
We live in NY and it seems we have cooties here. Nobody wants to work with us. I can't tell you how many situations I see on the internet that do not allow families from NY to apply. Why isn't there universal adoption law in the US? We can't use referrals, lawyer or facilitators to help us make the match. Our only options are networking, newspaper ads and internet advertising. So far all my hard work had gotten us nowhere.
I get an email of a baby boy born two months ago with serious heart problems and he is in need of an open heart surgery to repair the two holes in his heart. Of course it said "No NY families". I emailed the coordintor back and advised if nobody indicates that would like to adopt the child with medical needs, we would be interested if they can find a way to work with NY state law. We live one hour North of NYC, where there is the best caridac care. My Daughter was born with a congenital heart defect and we have been seeing a pediatric cardiologist since I was 20 weeks pregnant. We feel confident we could help this baby.
We are so eager to adopt that we would take a boy or girl and will consider all situations. We are not closed minded and picky. If I had to present my self as a birthmom when I was pregnant, the write up would not have resulted in many interested adoptive parents.
I have decided that I am helping all my online adoption buddies and am forwarding them situations that I see that would be good for them, most of which we are ineligible for. I know it will come back to me 10 fold.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Parent Profiles here we come!
We were activated with parentprofiles.com today.
I am getting tired and frustrated with placing ads in
newspapers. I am hoping that this increases our exposure
and we make some real birthmother contacts. I am hoping
to be one of the 18-20 success stories they claim happen
every month. Me and the other 372 hopefuly adoptive couples
listed! I was against if for the longest time, but the exposure
is worth $99 a month. We're spending so much money
adoption, what's another $99 bucks!
I am concerned that when people see our picture and
see the three of us (my daugther plus us), they will
not be interested. I know that's a silly way to think, but
I know that people are more sympathetic to childless
couples, almost to the point of descrimating against
couples with children, especially biological children.
I can't tell you how many times I heard "At least you
have your daughter, some couples have NO children!"
I think we are excellent parents, and unlike first time
parents, we have experience. We would not be nervous
when the baby has a fever and we know what to do.
We've been through all these stages before. I also know
what it's like to be pregnant and can sympathize with
birthmothers. I think we have so many positive qualities
and hope that we don't get overlooked by potential birthmoms.
Here's to matching with a birthmom! We want to be
an adoption success story!
Here's our parentprofiles site:
http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db20729.html
I am getting tired and frustrated with placing ads in
newspapers. I am hoping that this increases our exposure
and we make some real birthmother contacts. I am hoping
to be one of the 18-20 success stories they claim happen
every month. Me and the other 372 hopefuly adoptive couples
listed! I was against if for the longest time, but the exposure
is worth $99 a month. We're spending so much money
adoption, what's another $99 bucks!
I am concerned that when people see our picture and
see the three of us (my daugther plus us), they will
not be interested. I know that's a silly way to think, but
I know that people are more sympathetic to childless
couples, almost to the point of descrimating against
couples with children, especially biological children.
I can't tell you how many times I heard "At least you
have your daughter, some couples have NO children!"
I think we are excellent parents, and unlike first time
parents, we have experience. We would not be nervous
when the baby has a fever and we know what to do.
We've been through all these stages before. I also know
what it's like to be pregnant and can sympathize with
birthmothers. I think we have so many positive qualities
and hope that we don't get overlooked by potential birthmoms.
Here's to matching with a birthmom! We want to be
an adoption success story!
Here's our parentprofiles site:
http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db20729.html
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Somewhere out there...
Somewhere out there is our baby. I just have to find him or her. I don't know how long it's going to take. We are doing all the right things-networking, proming our adoption website, advertising in newspapers and even signing up with rescue organizations. The last three months have felt like an eternity with much of my free time being spent on adoption actitivities.
We are comtemplating signing up with Parentprofiles.com. The success stories are few and far between, but for $99 a month you do get a lot of exposure. Maybe we possess something that the other 366 couples that are up there don't. We are spending like $1500 a month in newspaper ads and have had no good contacts to show for it.
I know our luck can change on a moments notice, but right now I feel like I am spinning my wheels and getting nowhere with the adoption process.
Tomorrow is another day and who knows what the day brings-right?
We are comtemplating signing up with Parentprofiles.com. The success stories are few and far between, but for $99 a month you do get a lot of exposure. Maybe we possess something that the other 366 couples that are up there don't. We are spending like $1500 a month in newspaper ads and have had no good contacts to show for it.
I know our luck can change on a moments notice, but right now I feel like I am spinning my wheels and getting nowhere with the adoption process.
Tomorrow is another day and who knows what the day brings-right?
Monday, April 09, 2007
Just one of the many reasons I love my husband!
The year was 1987. We started dating in February of 1987, but had actually met
in October of 1986 casually. I had thick high jet black hair like an 80's video vixen.
He was thin as a rail and wore hi top sneakers. What a pair we were. Life was
easy and simple. No worries, no bills, no issues-we just had fun together-all the
time. By Christmas of 1990, he suprised me with the perfect engagement ring.
I would have picked the same one if I had chosen it. It fit perfectly too! By September 1992, we were married and celebrated with a fancy Italian wedding. Life was good. Of course we had bills, work and less of a carefree life, but we were still having fun!
Here it is 20 years later and we're still having fun. The highlight of the week may be just sitting down together to watch Desperate Housewives. Life is complicated-juggling work, money, owning a house, raising a child and trying to adopt a baby. Some days it's downright stressful. Things at my job are up in the air. I am afraid I could be layed off. He says to me "Don't worry, I support whatever you do.". That is so nice to hear. If I want to make ebay my full time job and work from home, he'll support that. If I decided to pursue a career as a loan closer and take the notary public test, he supports that as well. If I choose to find another 9-5 job, that's fine with him. Considering we really do need two incomes, I am surprised he is so calm about it. He has more faith in me then I do some days. For that I feel like the luckiest woman alive.
in October of 1986 casually. I had thick high jet black hair like an 80's video vixen.
He was thin as a rail and wore hi top sneakers. What a pair we were. Life was
easy and simple. No worries, no bills, no issues-we just had fun together-all the
time. By Christmas of 1990, he suprised me with the perfect engagement ring.
I would have picked the same one if I had chosen it. It fit perfectly too! By September 1992, we were married and celebrated with a fancy Italian wedding. Life was good. Of course we had bills, work and less of a carefree life, but we were still having fun!
Here it is 20 years later and we're still having fun. The highlight of the week may be just sitting down together to watch Desperate Housewives. Life is complicated-juggling work, money, owning a house, raising a child and trying to adopt a baby. Some days it's downright stressful. Things at my job are up in the air. I am afraid I could be layed off. He says to me "Don't worry, I support whatever you do.". That is so nice to hear. If I want to make ebay my full time job and work from home, he'll support that. If I decided to pursue a career as a loan closer and take the notary public test, he supports that as well. If I choose to find another 9-5 job, that's fine with him. Considering we really do need two incomes, I am surprised he is so calm about it. He has more faith in me then I do some days. For that I feel like the luckiest woman alive.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Good news & bad news!
OK-the good news is I did receive an encouraging adoption call from a young woman in Missouri. She is due in 8 weeks, but will probably deliver in 6 weeks. She had her other kids at 38 weeks. I am having our profile overnighted to her tomorrow. She's having a boy and sounds serious about placing. I hope she likes us!!! I felt like I clicked with her and our thoughts were on the same page as far liking the semi open adoption as the best option for everyone's sake. I hope she is serious and chooses us.
OK now for the bad news. Well kinda. Way back on December 23, I received a call from Ashley, a potential birthmom that I made contact with through mysapce. We had talked quite a bit throughout the winter and I was even helping talk her through some difficult times. She picked us to parent her baby due in mid to late August. She even called our lawyer and a local attorney. Things in her life changed. She reunited with an old boyfriend and told me she was then undecided about whether to keep the baby or place it up for adoption. I told her I understood and to take her time and think about it. She had not called me in about 6 or 8 weeks and she called me today. She and her boyfriend (whom she will be marrying at the end of the month) have decided to keep and raise her baby (which she found out is a boy). I was not surprised by her deciding to keep the baby. I was surprised and touched that an 18 year old would be responsible and mature enough to call me and let me know as soon as they made the decision. She is a very sensitive person and I know it was difficult to even tell me she was thinking of keeping the baby (she had actually written to me, because she felt bad to tell me).
I told her I was happy for her and her boyfriend and hope everything works out great for them. She can call me anytime. I completely understand her decision and thanked her for calling me and letting me know. I know it was hard for her. I told her hopefully we will both be posting pictures of newborns in a few months.
I am really touched and happy that she took a few minutes to call me. She even recommended a maternity home in FL that I should contact for adoption information. All in all, she was still concerned with us. Her family should be very proud of her. Although I am disappointed in a way, I am very happy she was honest with me and is in a much better place in life then back in December. She is happy, has a new job, is getting married and his family will be giving them the support they need to raise the baby.
Oddly enough, I am so happy for her!
OK now for the bad news. Well kinda. Way back on December 23, I received a call from Ashley, a potential birthmom that I made contact with through mysapce. We had talked quite a bit throughout the winter and I was even helping talk her through some difficult times. She picked us to parent her baby due in mid to late August. She even called our lawyer and a local attorney. Things in her life changed. She reunited with an old boyfriend and told me she was then undecided about whether to keep the baby or place it up for adoption. I told her I understood and to take her time and think about it. She had not called me in about 6 or 8 weeks and she called me today. She and her boyfriend (whom she will be marrying at the end of the month) have decided to keep and raise her baby (which she found out is a boy). I was not surprised by her deciding to keep the baby. I was surprised and touched that an 18 year old would be responsible and mature enough to call me and let me know as soon as they made the decision. She is a very sensitive person and I know it was difficult to even tell me she was thinking of keeping the baby (she had actually written to me, because she felt bad to tell me).
I told her I was happy for her and her boyfriend and hope everything works out great for them. She can call me anytime. I completely understand her decision and thanked her for calling me and letting me know. I know it was hard for her. I told her hopefully we will both be posting pictures of newborns in a few months.
I am really touched and happy that she took a few minutes to call me. She even recommended a maternity home in FL that I should contact for adoption information. All in all, she was still concerned with us. Her family should be very proud of her. Although I am disappointed in a way, I am very happy she was honest with me and is in a much better place in life then back in December. She is happy, has a new job, is getting married and his family will be giving them the support they need to raise the baby.
Oddly enough, I am so happy for her!
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