I can't tell you how much I enjoyed the annual APC Adoption conference in NYC this past Sunday. As soon as I walked in the door, I was greeted by a friend I made online a few months ago, but had not met in person. It was so nice to get a warm greeting from her and her husband and to finally meet her in person. They are hopeful adoptive parents!
I went to a few adoption workshops and ended up speaking on a panel in one session. I met some online friends I never met before, my attorneys were there, a few of my clients were there and I made a few great contacts with couples hoping to adopt as well as attorneys interested in my services. I took lots of notes and tried to absorb as much information as possible. There was so much out there, it would have been easy to be overwhelmed. It's very valuable information and really is a must attend for anyone in the NYC area who is considering adoption, is in the process or has already adopted-whether domestically or internationally. Mark your calendars APC members, it's always the Sunday before Thanksgiving!
I have to say I was especially proud of myself for finding my way down to Cornell Weill Medical college in NYC and back without getting lost! LOL!
I have been so busy this week doing things for my current clients! It scares me to think this business could explode and be more than I can handle! Right now I am OK, but it can get crazy soon. I don't mind it at all, but the advertising can get challenging as everyone has different budgets and many want the same type of child and want to advertise in the same states. I will not put two of my clients in the same paper at the same time. I'm enjoying the creative parts the most, having just made a website for my clients-which they really like. I can do that kind of work any time of the day too! I guess I should feel blessed that after just a few weeks, I have clients and more signing on!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Kids say the funniest things...
I love volunteering at my older daughter's school. I do it a few times a month, but once a month, I get to work in the school store. For 1/2 hour, kids get to come down to the school store with their money and buy items like erasers, pencils, notebooks, etc. They are so cute-they are five to seven years old and come down with their money.
I helped one girl who couldn't decide, pick out $1.50 worth of items. She paid with two dollars. I gave her 50 cents change and started helping the next little customer. She starts to walk out, turns around and says to me "You could keep this as a tip!" I totally did not expect it. I started to smile, wondering how and where she thought of that one. I told her-"Thank you, but you should keep it and put it in your piggy bank". She really wanted to tip me. She was adorable to boot! I guess her parents are good tippers. When I told my family and friends, they were hysterical. It's one of those cute stories I will remember forever!
I hope all those who become parents through adoption, get to experience events like this as well! It makes being a parent so worth it!!
I helped one girl who couldn't decide, pick out $1.50 worth of items. She paid with two dollars. I gave her 50 cents change and started helping the next little customer. She starts to walk out, turns around and says to me "You could keep this as a tip!" I totally did not expect it. I started to smile, wondering how and where she thought of that one. I told her-"Thank you, but you should keep it and put it in your piggy bank". She really wanted to tip me. She was adorable to boot! I guess her parents are good tippers. When I told my family and friends, they were hysterical. It's one of those cute stories I will remember forever!
I hope all those who become parents through adoption, get to experience events like this as well! It makes being a parent so worth it!!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
We are one of many "Blended" families
I consider us a blended family. Not in the "Brady Bunch" sense in that our family came together as a result of children from a previous marriage, but because our children are a mix of biological and adopted. It's actually more common then you think. I have many adoption friends who also have blended families as a result of infertility or secondary infertility.
At times it's hard and I feel like all eyes are on us and how we raise our daughters. I really have to treat them equally and do everything fair and square. It's hard because they are different age groups. I try not to favor one over the other, we try to spend equal amounts of money on Christmas and birthday present, etc. It's a challenge for any parent to be "even steven" all the time with their kids. As life goes on, kids will have different needs, whether they be emotional or otherwise and at certain times of their lives it may appear as if you are "giving more" or spending more time with one child over the other. I just feel because one of my daughters is adopted and the other biological, the magnifying glass is really on us, more so than a family with two adopted children or two biological children.
We do the best we can and do treat them and love the equally. I don't really think of them on two separate planes-to me they are just both my daughters. I love my older daughter because I can look at her and see a little bit of myself. I wonder what traits of mine and my husband she will have. On the other hand, I look at my youngest daughter with love and admiration. She is beautiful and already has a spitfire personality. She will be different and break the mold of our cautious family and for that I am glad. I am lucky to have the "Best of both worlds" as Hannah Montana would say, and will continue to strive to treat them equally and make sure they grow up with memories of a happy childhood!
At times it's hard and I feel like all eyes are on us and how we raise our daughters. I really have to treat them equally and do everything fair and square. It's hard because they are different age groups. I try not to favor one over the other, we try to spend equal amounts of money on Christmas and birthday present, etc. It's a challenge for any parent to be "even steven" all the time with their kids. As life goes on, kids will have different needs, whether they be emotional or otherwise and at certain times of their lives it may appear as if you are "giving more" or spending more time with one child over the other. I just feel because one of my daughters is adopted and the other biological, the magnifying glass is really on us, more so than a family with two adopted children or two biological children.
We do the best we can and do treat them and love the equally. I don't really think of them on two separate planes-to me they are just both my daughters. I love my older daughter because I can look at her and see a little bit of myself. I wonder what traits of mine and my husband she will have. On the other hand, I look at my youngest daughter with love and admiration. She is beautiful and already has a spitfire personality. She will be different and break the mold of our cautious family and for that I am glad. I am lucky to have the "Best of both worlds" as Hannah Montana would say, and will continue to strive to treat them equally and make sure they grow up with memories of a happy childhood!
Monday, November 10, 2008
We need to find families for children in foster care...
There is a real need in the United States to find permanent loving homes for those thousands of children in foster care. The foster care system really can use some revision. Some of the policies are outdated and make it prohibitive to adopt children.
One big factor is risk. Even in cases where unification with a parent is a longshot, the children can be legally unavailable for years. People are afraid to have a child live with them for a year or two or more, only to lose them back to a biological parent that in some cases, the child really would rather not go back to. All relatives are considered as potential parents for the child in foster care, leaving adoptive parents even more at risk of losing the children they are attached to.
Another big problem is that many kids are part of a sibling group and that mean mean adopting two or more kids simultaneously, which is a lot to handle. Bad press and false information about foster kids having "problems" or "issues" or "getting into trouble" also holds potential adoptive parents back from pursuing foster adoption. The older the kids are, the more homes they have been in and out of and the harder it is for them to adjust to a new life in a family. An adoptive family will need lots of time and patience to help their new son or daughter adapt to a new family, new home, new school, new everything.
I know one foster mother who had children of her own and only started to be a foster mother as an occupation. She would foster as many as eight pre teens and teens at a time and collect a nice monthly check-as if she full time job. The problem is-she never cared about the kids. Didn't care what they did, where they went or if they had dinner that night. I have a problem with that, as did her own daughter. It wasn't easy for her to share her parents with dozens of kids, get attached to them and suddenly find they are leaving. She had a very negative view of the foster care system for allowing her own parents to work the system like that. You don't become a foster parent to earn a payheck-you do it to help a child, either permanently or temporarily and treat them as IF THEY WERE YOUR OWN. I don't even agree that money should be give monthly to foster parents. I think, if anything a very small stipend should be given and scholarships should be available to the child upon graduation from high school. Let these children have a chance at a real future, without worrying about where tuition money will come from.
Foster care adoption shouldn't only be for married couples. Open it up to singles and same sex couples. If they can complete a homestudy successfully, and provide financially and emotionally for a child, I don't think restrictions such as marital status, age, or sexual orientation should prohibit them.
My heart breaks to see so many children out there wanting permanent homes. People so unwillng to take the chances and risks to help them. The system needs to be revised so that it better serves the needs of these children and finds permanent loving homes for them more quickly.
November is national adoption month and I hope changes are being considered to the foster care system so that more children may find their foverever homes!
One big factor is risk. Even in cases where unification with a parent is a longshot, the children can be legally unavailable for years. People are afraid to have a child live with them for a year or two or more, only to lose them back to a biological parent that in some cases, the child really would rather not go back to. All relatives are considered as potential parents for the child in foster care, leaving adoptive parents even more at risk of losing the children they are attached to.
Another big problem is that many kids are part of a sibling group and that mean mean adopting two or more kids simultaneously, which is a lot to handle. Bad press and false information about foster kids having "problems" or "issues" or "getting into trouble" also holds potential adoptive parents back from pursuing foster adoption. The older the kids are, the more homes they have been in and out of and the harder it is for them to adjust to a new life in a family. An adoptive family will need lots of time and patience to help their new son or daughter adapt to a new family, new home, new school, new everything.
I know one foster mother who had children of her own and only started to be a foster mother as an occupation. She would foster as many as eight pre teens and teens at a time and collect a nice monthly check-as if she full time job. The problem is-she never cared about the kids. Didn't care what they did, where they went or if they had dinner that night. I have a problem with that, as did her own daughter. It wasn't easy for her to share her parents with dozens of kids, get attached to them and suddenly find they are leaving. She had a very negative view of the foster care system for allowing her own parents to work the system like that. You don't become a foster parent to earn a payheck-you do it to help a child, either permanently or temporarily and treat them as IF THEY WERE YOUR OWN. I don't even agree that money should be give monthly to foster parents. I think, if anything a very small stipend should be given and scholarships should be available to the child upon graduation from high school. Let these children have a chance at a real future, without worrying about where tuition money will come from.
Foster care adoption shouldn't only be for married couples. Open it up to singles and same sex couples. If they can complete a homestudy successfully, and provide financially and emotionally for a child, I don't think restrictions such as marital status, age, or sexual orientation should prohibit them.
My heart breaks to see so many children out there wanting permanent homes. People so unwillng to take the chances and risks to help them. The system needs to be revised so that it better serves the needs of these children and finds permanent loving homes for them more quickly.
November is national adoption month and I hope changes are being considered to the foster care system so that more children may find their foverever homes!
Saturday, November 08, 2008
An alternative to traditional adoption...
Is embryo adoption or Embryo donation. If a woman's body can endure a pregnancy and carry it to term, maybe an embryo adoption may be something to consider.
Hundreds of thousands of embryos are sitting in storage, with decisions needing to be made about their fate. Couples that decide their family is complete, but have viable embryos stored opt to help other couples (or single women) in their quest to be parents. The couple whose embryos are stored picks the couple that will "adopt" the embryo and one or more will be implanted in the adoptive Mom. Assuming the procedure works, she may be pregnant with one or more babies that will be fully biologically related to the couples other child or children.
The adoptive Mom doesn't necessary have to tell people casual acquaintances what's going on, she can just let everyone know she is pregnant. She gets to experience a pregnancy and know she is taking excellent care of herself during the pregnancy. She gets to give birth and bring the baby home. It's a unique and amazing process to experience adoption and pregnancy almost simultaneously.
Couples storing embryos are usually middle to upper class people with good jobs and financial stability, therefore the babies that result come from desirable backgrounds and education level. I think it's an amazing way to change a couple's life and may be a viable alternative to traditional adoption. Check this website for more information or you can look up "embryo donation" or "embryo adoption" on the internet.
http://www.nightlight.org/snowflakeadoption.htm
Hundreds of thousands of embryos are sitting in storage, with decisions needing to be made about their fate. Couples that decide their family is complete, but have viable embryos stored opt to help other couples (or single women) in their quest to be parents. The couple whose embryos are stored picks the couple that will "adopt" the embryo and one or more will be implanted in the adoptive Mom. Assuming the procedure works, she may be pregnant with one or more babies that will be fully biologically related to the couples other child or children.
The adoptive Mom doesn't necessary have to tell people casual acquaintances what's going on, she can just let everyone know she is pregnant. She gets to experience a pregnancy and know she is taking excellent care of herself during the pregnancy. She gets to give birth and bring the baby home. It's a unique and amazing process to experience adoption and pregnancy almost simultaneously.
Couples storing embryos are usually middle to upper class people with good jobs and financial stability, therefore the babies that result come from desirable backgrounds and education level. I think it's an amazing way to change a couple's life and may be a viable alternative to traditional adoption. Check this website for more information or you can look up "embryo donation" or "embryo adoption" on the internet.
http://www.nightlight.org/snowflakeadoption.htm
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Happy Election Day....
I hope everyone got out there and voted today. I know voter turnout was good all over the country and that shows you how much interest there is in this election. I think this presidential election will make history, change history and lead our country in a new and better direction.
I remember feeling like this in the fall of 1992. I voted for Bill Clinton and in the eight years he was in office, I found a very good job, get great raises, afforded to buy a condo, saved money, went on vacations, and was financially sound financially sound. I never dreamed all these things I hoped for would come together so soon-really by 1996, our lives and finances had turned around. I got married at 23 (in 1992). By the time I was 30, I had accomplished a lot and was leading a very financially stable life. The last eight years have been horrible. I have been layed off twice, we watched our 401K and stocks sink, while our food, utilities, gas and oil bills have skyrocketed. Raises are few and far between and my husband's health care plan for our family sets us back $550 a month. I have been out of work 18 months and even with my skills, can't find a job, unless I want to take a 20K pay cut, which I am not willing to do. I am not alone, every day I hear of someone else layed off and worried about their future. Foreclosures left and right in my county. It's sad that the last eight years have been so insecure for many people.
It's time for change-a change for the better-like Celine Dion said "A New Day has come". The economy will change, the stock market will bounce back, home values will rise again, the job outlook will get better, foreclosure rates will slow down, banks will stabilize, but it's going to take YEARS to get everything back on track. Be patient and look towards the future.
I remember feeling like this in the fall of 1992. I voted for Bill Clinton and in the eight years he was in office, I found a very good job, get great raises, afforded to buy a condo, saved money, went on vacations, and was financially sound financially sound. I never dreamed all these things I hoped for would come together so soon-really by 1996, our lives and finances had turned around. I got married at 23 (in 1992). By the time I was 30, I had accomplished a lot and was leading a very financially stable life. The last eight years have been horrible. I have been layed off twice, we watched our 401K and stocks sink, while our food, utilities, gas and oil bills have skyrocketed. Raises are few and far between and my husband's health care plan for our family sets us back $550 a month. I have been out of work 18 months and even with my skills, can't find a job, unless I want to take a 20K pay cut, which I am not willing to do. I am not alone, every day I hear of someone else layed off and worried about their future. Foreclosures left and right in my county. It's sad that the last eight years have been so insecure for many people.
It's time for change-a change for the better-like Celine Dion said "A New Day has come". The economy will change, the stock market will bounce back, home values will rise again, the job outlook will get better, foreclosure rates will slow down, banks will stabilize, but it's going to take YEARS to get everything back on track. Be patient and look towards the future.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
November-change your clocks & Adoption Awareness month!
It's November already, Halloween is over, but the candy is still lingering in our house. The retail stores have skipped Thanksgiving and went straight to Christmas!
I hope you all remembered to change your clocks back (unless you live in Alaska or Arizona!). I didn't get an hour more sleep-the kids just got up an hour earlier! LOL! I am so glad we now change our clocks the Sunday after Halloween-I have been saying we should do this for 15 years, so kids have an hour more of daylight when trick or treating! Finally in 2007, we started springing forward in March and Falling back in early November!
November is adoption awareness month! This is a great month to learn more about adoption. There are thousands of children of all ages around the United States that need homes. Especially older children, sibling groups and children with disability. Maybe adopting a child through the foster care system is something to think about! All it takes is love and caring!
Visit The Child Welfare Information Gateway by clicking here!
I hope you all remembered to change your clocks back (unless you live in Alaska or Arizona!). I didn't get an hour more sleep-the kids just got up an hour earlier! LOL! I am so glad we now change our clocks the Sunday after Halloween-I have been saying we should do this for 15 years, so kids have an hour more of daylight when trick or treating! Finally in 2007, we started springing forward in March and Falling back in early November!
November is adoption awareness month! This is a great month to learn more about adoption. There are thousands of children of all ages around the United States that need homes. Especially older children, sibling groups and children with disability. Maybe adopting a child through the foster care system is something to think about! All it takes is love and caring!
Visit The Child Welfare Information Gateway by clicking here!
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