So on Friday, I became another victim of corporate downsizing. Yes I was layed off. I did get a nice severence package, but still it's not what I wanted. I was going to get $5,000 adoption assistance from this company and it was VERY close to my house.
This is the 2nd time in five years I have been layed off by a corporate downsizing. It stinks. You go to college, get educated, find a good job, only to spend your days worrying about when you will meet the grim reaper. I guess I am lucky, I think in the future, corporations will be offering little or no severence. Rumor has it that our company was going to discontinue severence in 2008.
I am fine with it. It was hard to say goodbye to dozens of people and pack my desk in a matter of hours, but I did it and I am really fine with it. I hope to focus on decluttering my house and spending more time with our daughter. I can also focus on adoption related activities as well. I was rather burned out and really can use a break.
I feel like I have been given a ticket to freedom. I think I will try my hand at my own home business (maybe ebay?) and hope to me my own boss soon, doing what I want to do.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Congrats Kyle and Crystal on your baby girl
This morning I opened by email to get a much anticipated email from my
adoption friend Crystal. The baby she is going to adopt was born on 4/24.
I got a quick email on 4/23 saying the birthmom was being induced and they were off to the airport! the gender was unknown four weeks ago when they were selected, but I correctly guessed girl! She has no name yet, but is a cutie-I saw 60 pictures of her courtesy of proud Mommy!
They were matched through Project Cuddle which is such a wonderful organization. They are the 2nd couple since Dec 2006 who I know and who has adopted with their help.
What impressed me the most about the pictures I saw were the smiles on their faces. They were glowing. They are young and have not been trying to adopt all that long, but I can tell by the smile on their faces, they were estatic! I can't wait to see more pictures of their little girl and find out what they decide to name her!
Crystal is my adoption buddy and we often referred situations to each other. She is still promoting our adoption website www.ouradoptionplan.com whenever she can!
Congrats again! I was so happy to hear the good news. This is one lucky baby girl to be raised by such loving parents!
adoption friend Crystal. The baby she is going to adopt was born on 4/24.
I got a quick email on 4/23 saying the birthmom was being induced and they were off to the airport! the gender was unknown four weeks ago when they were selected, but I correctly guessed girl! She has no name yet, but is a cutie-I saw 60 pictures of her courtesy of proud Mommy!
They were matched through Project Cuddle which is such a wonderful organization. They are the 2nd couple since Dec 2006 who I know and who has adopted with their help.
What impressed me the most about the pictures I saw were the smiles on their faces. They were glowing. They are young and have not been trying to adopt all that long, but I can tell by the smile on their faces, they were estatic! I can't wait to see more pictures of their little girl and find out what they decide to name her!
Crystal is my adoption buddy and we often referred situations to each other. She is still promoting our adoption website www.ouradoptionplan.com whenever she can!
Congrats again! I was so happy to hear the good news. This is one lucky baby girl to be raised by such loving parents!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Adoption comes with a price
I made some phone calls last week and was in contact with an adoption agency in Arkansas that can work with NY families. I was excited, because most can't and Arkansas has some great adoption laws. I sent them our names and address and they sent us an information packet, which I received yesterday. I will not mention the name of the agency, but they do many placements a year.
When I opened it up, I was outraged. There was a price list for adoptions and it was broken up into three catagories as follows:
Caucasian baby-$25,000
Biracial baby $15,000
Baby of color (I guess they mean African American) $10,000
WHAT???? Why is one baby more than another. Every baby is a precious life. I know their are a shortage of families that wish to adopt biracial or African American babies and making the price affordable would help, but this is rediculous. Why can't it be actual medical and birthmother costs plus a flat fee of say $5,000 or $10,000, which can be reduced for harder to place babies. These prices don't include traveling and all legal fees.What has become of our society? In reality, a birthmom may have medical insurance and have very little financial need. I guess they are making over $20,000 on her if she is caucasian. Less if the
baby is not full caucasian. Do they treat birthmothers carrying caucasian babies differently? I would hope not! Are they reluctant to take on birthmothers with medical bills because it cuts into their profits?
This sounds like buying a car, you can get a bare bones Nissan Sentra for $10K, an Altima for $15K and if you have the money, you can get a fancy Murano for $25K.
Putting price tags on these situations makes is seem inhumane. We are talking about people and the life of an infant here, not a financial transaction.
I guess it comes down to supply and demand. Caucasian infants are in demand And agencies and facilitators know they can get top dollar placing these babies.
Just another reason why I am in favor of independent private adoption. A birthmother can go online or read a newspaper and talk to and decide from an unlimited number of couples, who should adopt her baby. There are no hidden motives. All hopeful adoptive parents that are advertising are homestudy approved. Adoptive parents, if chosen, pay all legal, medical, counseling, as well as allowable living fees, if needed. Our attorney has done adoptions this way for as little as $6,000.
As you may have already guessed, we're not signing on with this agency.
When I opened it up, I was outraged. There was a price list for adoptions and it was broken up into three catagories as follows:
Caucasian baby-$25,000
Biracial baby $15,000
Baby of color (I guess they mean African American) $10,000
WHAT???? Why is one baby more than another. Every baby is a precious life. I know their are a shortage of families that wish to adopt biracial or African American babies and making the price affordable would help, but this is rediculous. Why can't it be actual medical and birthmother costs plus a flat fee of say $5,000 or $10,000, which can be reduced for harder to place babies. These prices don't include traveling and all legal fees.What has become of our society? In reality, a birthmom may have medical insurance and have very little financial need. I guess they are making over $20,000 on her if she is caucasian. Less if the
baby is not full caucasian. Do they treat birthmothers carrying caucasian babies differently? I would hope not! Are they reluctant to take on birthmothers with medical bills because it cuts into their profits?
This sounds like buying a car, you can get a bare bones Nissan Sentra for $10K, an Altima for $15K and if you have the money, you can get a fancy Murano for $25K.
Putting price tags on these situations makes is seem inhumane. We are talking about people and the life of an infant here, not a financial transaction.
I guess it comes down to supply and demand. Caucasian infants are in demand And agencies and facilitators know they can get top dollar placing these babies.
Just another reason why I am in favor of independent private adoption. A birthmother can go online or read a newspaper and talk to and decide from an unlimited number of couples, who should adopt her baby. There are no hidden motives. All hopeful adoptive parents that are advertising are homestudy approved. Adoptive parents, if chosen, pay all legal, medical, counseling, as well as allowable living fees, if needed. Our attorney has done adoptions this way for as little as $6,000.
As you may have already guessed, we're not signing on with this agency.
Friday, April 20, 2007
This gets me ticked off! Adoption rant!
Ok so I am surfing the net and look at adoption related information (yet again!)
I visit this facilitators site where she posts all the available situations. She posts the a brief info on the birthmother, the baby's due date, gender (if known) and baby's race.n Couples that use her can let her know if they are interested in a certain birthmother's situtation.
There is this one situtaion for a caucasian baby (gender unknown) and three couples are interested. Let me rephrase that, two couples are interested and a third is only intersted if it' s a girl! Sorry that ticks me off. I don't care if you had 10 boys at home, when you sign on to adopt you should accept a boy or girl. Either sex!
I look at it this way-if a woman is pregnant, she should love and accept the baby regardless of it's a boy or a girl. Right? There would be no chosing, you accept what God sends you. I get so ticked when I saw that-only interested if it's a girl! Adoption is about giving a baby a loving home and nurturing them for the rest of their lives, it's not about picking and choosing the perfect baby to your specifications.
I am happy to see that an overwhelming number of adoptive parents are not picky about the sex of the baby and many are open to different races, drug and alcohol exposure, mental illness history and special needs. I believe there is a family for every baby out there. No child should not have a family to shower him or her with love.
We live in NY and it seems we have cooties here. Nobody wants to work with us. I can't tell you how many situations I see on the internet that do not allow families from NY to apply. Why isn't there universal adoption law in the US? We can't use referrals, lawyer or facilitators to help us make the match. Our only options are networking, newspaper ads and internet advertising. So far all my hard work had gotten us nowhere.
I get an email of a baby boy born two months ago with serious heart problems and he is in need of an open heart surgery to repair the two holes in his heart. Of course it said "No NY families". I emailed the coordintor back and advised if nobody indicates that would like to adopt the child with medical needs, we would be interested if they can find a way to work with NY state law. We live one hour North of NYC, where there is the best caridac care. My Daughter was born with a congenital heart defect and we have been seeing a pediatric cardiologist since I was 20 weeks pregnant. We feel confident we could help this baby.
We are so eager to adopt that we would take a boy or girl and will consider all situations. We are not closed minded and picky. If I had to present my self as a birthmom when I was pregnant, the write up would not have resulted in many interested adoptive parents.
I have decided that I am helping all my online adoption buddies and am forwarding them situations that I see that would be good for them, most of which we are ineligible for. I know it will come back to me 10 fold.
I visit this facilitators site where she posts all the available situations. She posts the a brief info on the birthmother, the baby's due date, gender (if known) and baby's race.n Couples that use her can let her know if they are interested in a certain birthmother's situtation.
There is this one situtaion for a caucasian baby (gender unknown) and three couples are interested. Let me rephrase that, two couples are interested and a third is only intersted if it' s a girl! Sorry that ticks me off. I don't care if you had 10 boys at home, when you sign on to adopt you should accept a boy or girl. Either sex!
I look at it this way-if a woman is pregnant, she should love and accept the baby regardless of it's a boy or a girl. Right? There would be no chosing, you accept what God sends you. I get so ticked when I saw that-only interested if it's a girl! Adoption is about giving a baby a loving home and nurturing them for the rest of their lives, it's not about picking and choosing the perfect baby to your specifications.
I am happy to see that an overwhelming number of adoptive parents are not picky about the sex of the baby and many are open to different races, drug and alcohol exposure, mental illness history and special needs. I believe there is a family for every baby out there. No child should not have a family to shower him or her with love.
We live in NY and it seems we have cooties here. Nobody wants to work with us. I can't tell you how many situations I see on the internet that do not allow families from NY to apply. Why isn't there universal adoption law in the US? We can't use referrals, lawyer or facilitators to help us make the match. Our only options are networking, newspaper ads and internet advertising. So far all my hard work had gotten us nowhere.
I get an email of a baby boy born two months ago with serious heart problems and he is in need of an open heart surgery to repair the two holes in his heart. Of course it said "No NY families". I emailed the coordintor back and advised if nobody indicates that would like to adopt the child with medical needs, we would be interested if they can find a way to work with NY state law. We live one hour North of NYC, where there is the best caridac care. My Daughter was born with a congenital heart defect and we have been seeing a pediatric cardiologist since I was 20 weeks pregnant. We feel confident we could help this baby.
We are so eager to adopt that we would take a boy or girl and will consider all situations. We are not closed minded and picky. If I had to present my self as a birthmom when I was pregnant, the write up would not have resulted in many interested adoptive parents.
I have decided that I am helping all my online adoption buddies and am forwarding them situations that I see that would be good for them, most of which we are ineligible for. I know it will come back to me 10 fold.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Parent Profiles here we come!
We were activated with parentprofiles.com today.
I am getting tired and frustrated with placing ads in
newspapers. I am hoping that this increases our exposure
and we make some real birthmother contacts. I am hoping
to be one of the 18-20 success stories they claim happen
every month. Me and the other 372 hopefuly adoptive couples
listed! I was against if for the longest time, but the exposure
is worth $99 a month. We're spending so much money
adoption, what's another $99 bucks!
I am concerned that when people see our picture and
see the three of us (my daugther plus us), they will
not be interested. I know that's a silly way to think, but
I know that people are more sympathetic to childless
couples, almost to the point of descrimating against
couples with children, especially biological children.
I can't tell you how many times I heard "At least you
have your daughter, some couples have NO children!"
I think we are excellent parents, and unlike first time
parents, we have experience. We would not be nervous
when the baby has a fever and we know what to do.
We've been through all these stages before. I also know
what it's like to be pregnant and can sympathize with
birthmothers. I think we have so many positive qualities
and hope that we don't get overlooked by potential birthmoms.
Here's to matching with a birthmom! We want to be
an adoption success story!
Here's our parentprofiles site:
http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db20729.html
I am getting tired and frustrated with placing ads in
newspapers. I am hoping that this increases our exposure
and we make some real birthmother contacts. I am hoping
to be one of the 18-20 success stories they claim happen
every month. Me and the other 372 hopefuly adoptive couples
listed! I was against if for the longest time, but the exposure
is worth $99 a month. We're spending so much money
adoption, what's another $99 bucks!
I am concerned that when people see our picture and
see the three of us (my daugther plus us), they will
not be interested. I know that's a silly way to think, but
I know that people are more sympathetic to childless
couples, almost to the point of descrimating against
couples with children, especially biological children.
I can't tell you how many times I heard "At least you
have your daughter, some couples have NO children!"
I think we are excellent parents, and unlike first time
parents, we have experience. We would not be nervous
when the baby has a fever and we know what to do.
We've been through all these stages before. I also know
what it's like to be pregnant and can sympathize with
birthmothers. I think we have so many positive qualities
and hope that we don't get overlooked by potential birthmoms.
Here's to matching with a birthmom! We want to be
an adoption success story!
Here's our parentprofiles site:
http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db20729.html
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Somewhere out there...
Somewhere out there is our baby. I just have to find him or her. I don't know how long it's going to take. We are doing all the right things-networking, proming our adoption website, advertising in newspapers and even signing up with rescue organizations. The last three months have felt like an eternity with much of my free time being spent on adoption actitivities.
We are comtemplating signing up with Parentprofiles.com. The success stories are few and far between, but for $99 a month you do get a lot of exposure. Maybe we possess something that the other 366 couples that are up there don't. We are spending like $1500 a month in newspaper ads and have had no good contacts to show for it.
I know our luck can change on a moments notice, but right now I feel like I am spinning my wheels and getting nowhere with the adoption process.
Tomorrow is another day and who knows what the day brings-right?
We are comtemplating signing up with Parentprofiles.com. The success stories are few and far between, but for $99 a month you do get a lot of exposure. Maybe we possess something that the other 366 couples that are up there don't. We are spending like $1500 a month in newspaper ads and have had no good contacts to show for it.
I know our luck can change on a moments notice, but right now I feel like I am spinning my wheels and getting nowhere with the adoption process.
Tomorrow is another day and who knows what the day brings-right?
Monday, April 09, 2007
Just one of the many reasons I love my husband!
The year was 1987. We started dating in February of 1987, but had actually met
in October of 1986 casually. I had thick high jet black hair like an 80's video vixen.
He was thin as a rail and wore hi top sneakers. What a pair we were. Life was
easy and simple. No worries, no bills, no issues-we just had fun together-all the
time. By Christmas of 1990, he suprised me with the perfect engagement ring.
I would have picked the same one if I had chosen it. It fit perfectly too! By September 1992, we were married and celebrated with a fancy Italian wedding. Life was good. Of course we had bills, work and less of a carefree life, but we were still having fun!
Here it is 20 years later and we're still having fun. The highlight of the week may be just sitting down together to watch Desperate Housewives. Life is complicated-juggling work, money, owning a house, raising a child and trying to adopt a baby. Some days it's downright stressful. Things at my job are up in the air. I am afraid I could be layed off. He says to me "Don't worry, I support whatever you do.". That is so nice to hear. If I want to make ebay my full time job and work from home, he'll support that. If I decided to pursue a career as a loan closer and take the notary public test, he supports that as well. If I choose to find another 9-5 job, that's fine with him. Considering we really do need two incomes, I am surprised he is so calm about it. He has more faith in me then I do some days. For that I feel like the luckiest woman alive.
in October of 1986 casually. I had thick high jet black hair like an 80's video vixen.
He was thin as a rail and wore hi top sneakers. What a pair we were. Life was
easy and simple. No worries, no bills, no issues-we just had fun together-all the
time. By Christmas of 1990, he suprised me with the perfect engagement ring.
I would have picked the same one if I had chosen it. It fit perfectly too! By September 1992, we were married and celebrated with a fancy Italian wedding. Life was good. Of course we had bills, work and less of a carefree life, but we were still having fun!
Here it is 20 years later and we're still having fun. The highlight of the week may be just sitting down together to watch Desperate Housewives. Life is complicated-juggling work, money, owning a house, raising a child and trying to adopt a baby. Some days it's downright stressful. Things at my job are up in the air. I am afraid I could be layed off. He says to me "Don't worry, I support whatever you do.". That is so nice to hear. If I want to make ebay my full time job and work from home, he'll support that. If I decided to pursue a career as a loan closer and take the notary public test, he supports that as well. If I choose to find another 9-5 job, that's fine with him. Considering we really do need two incomes, I am surprised he is so calm about it. He has more faith in me then I do some days. For that I feel like the luckiest woman alive.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Good news & bad news!
OK-the good news is I did receive an encouraging adoption call from a young woman in Missouri. She is due in 8 weeks, but will probably deliver in 6 weeks. She had her other kids at 38 weeks. I am having our profile overnighted to her tomorrow. She's having a boy and sounds serious about placing. I hope she likes us!!! I felt like I clicked with her and our thoughts were on the same page as far liking the semi open adoption as the best option for everyone's sake. I hope she is serious and chooses us.
OK now for the bad news. Well kinda. Way back on December 23, I received a call from Ashley, a potential birthmom that I made contact with through mysapce. We had talked quite a bit throughout the winter and I was even helping talk her through some difficult times. She picked us to parent her baby due in mid to late August. She even called our lawyer and a local attorney. Things in her life changed. She reunited with an old boyfriend and told me she was then undecided about whether to keep the baby or place it up for adoption. I told her I understood and to take her time and think about it. She had not called me in about 6 or 8 weeks and she called me today. She and her boyfriend (whom she will be marrying at the end of the month) have decided to keep and raise her baby (which she found out is a boy). I was not surprised by her deciding to keep the baby. I was surprised and touched that an 18 year old would be responsible and mature enough to call me and let me know as soon as they made the decision. She is a very sensitive person and I know it was difficult to even tell me she was thinking of keeping the baby (she had actually written to me, because she felt bad to tell me).
I told her I was happy for her and her boyfriend and hope everything works out great for them. She can call me anytime. I completely understand her decision and thanked her for calling me and letting me know. I know it was hard for her. I told her hopefully we will both be posting pictures of newborns in a few months.
I am really touched and happy that she took a few minutes to call me. She even recommended a maternity home in FL that I should contact for adoption information. All in all, she was still concerned with us. Her family should be very proud of her. Although I am disappointed in a way, I am very happy she was honest with me and is in a much better place in life then back in December. She is happy, has a new job, is getting married and his family will be giving them the support they need to raise the baby.
Oddly enough, I am so happy for her!
OK now for the bad news. Well kinda. Way back on December 23, I received a call from Ashley, a potential birthmom that I made contact with through mysapce. We had talked quite a bit throughout the winter and I was even helping talk her through some difficult times. She picked us to parent her baby due in mid to late August. She even called our lawyer and a local attorney. Things in her life changed. She reunited with an old boyfriend and told me she was then undecided about whether to keep the baby or place it up for adoption. I told her I understood and to take her time and think about it. She had not called me in about 6 or 8 weeks and she called me today. She and her boyfriend (whom she will be marrying at the end of the month) have decided to keep and raise her baby (which she found out is a boy). I was not surprised by her deciding to keep the baby. I was surprised and touched that an 18 year old would be responsible and mature enough to call me and let me know as soon as they made the decision. She is a very sensitive person and I know it was difficult to even tell me she was thinking of keeping the baby (she had actually written to me, because she felt bad to tell me).
I told her I was happy for her and her boyfriend and hope everything works out great for them. She can call me anytime. I completely understand her decision and thanked her for calling me and letting me know. I know it was hard for her. I told her hopefully we will both be posting pictures of newborns in a few months.
I am really touched and happy that she took a few minutes to call me. She even recommended a maternity home in FL that I should contact for adoption information. All in all, she was still concerned with us. Her family should be very proud of her. Although I am disappointed in a way, I am very happy she was honest with me and is in a much better place in life then back in December. She is happy, has a new job, is getting married and his family will be giving them the support they need to raise the baby.
Oddly enough, I am so happy for her!
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Getting disgusted with adoption & responses to our ads!
I am so disgusted right now with adoption. I have two women really leading me on. One for almost two months now. She still has not filled out paperwork she received over a week ago from our attorney. She's working on it she claims. She tells me Friday night that at her sonogram, they said the baby was a boy. Part of me gets excited and part of me just doesn't believe her. I really think I am being scammed. I think she wants attention. She is yet to provide proof of pregnancy.
I will insist that my lawyer ask her for Proof of pregnancy tomorrow. No POP, no more conversations. She calls me twice a week to chat. I don't want to get more emotionally involved. I am being charged by my lawyer for all the work they are doing to get her paperwork, fedexing documents, talking to her on the phone-so although I have not given her any money-this is costing money.
We litterally have adoption ads running in 10 papers this weekend and no calls (yet). I am getting so disgusted. I wanted to cry yesterday. I keep trying to believe that a real birthmother who wants to work with us can call me at any moment and our lives could change. I have to keep believing. I just want a nice, honest birthmom to contact us. I would rather have honesty.
If you are 40 tell us. If you drank tell us. If you took drugs tell us! We are open minded people and are not looking for the perfect super baby. We are just looking for a baby to love and make part of our family.
I am even losing faith in our religion. I was in church today saying to myself "Why are we going through this after all we went through with the miscarriages?" "Why are some people getting lucky so quickly finding a baby and not us?" I keep believing our day will come.
If anyone can help us, please call us toll free at 1-877-372-6041. Our adoption website is:
http://ouradoptionplan.com
I will insist that my lawyer ask her for Proof of pregnancy tomorrow. No POP, no more conversations. She calls me twice a week to chat. I don't want to get more emotionally involved. I am being charged by my lawyer for all the work they are doing to get her paperwork, fedexing documents, talking to her on the phone-so although I have not given her any money-this is costing money.
We litterally have adoption ads running in 10 papers this weekend and no calls (yet). I am getting so disgusted. I wanted to cry yesterday. I keep trying to believe that a real birthmother who wants to work with us can call me at any moment and our lives could change. I have to keep believing. I just want a nice, honest birthmom to contact us. I would rather have honesty.
If you are 40 tell us. If you drank tell us. If you took drugs tell us! We are open minded people and are not looking for the perfect super baby. We are just looking for a baby to love and make part of our family.
I am even losing faith in our religion. I was in church today saying to myself "Why are we going through this after all we went through with the miscarriages?" "Why are some people getting lucky so quickly finding a baby and not us?" I keep believing our day will come.
If anyone can help us, please call us toll free at 1-877-372-6041. Our adoption website is:
http://ouradoptionplan.com
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