Do they know?

We just returned from vacation. One week at the Jersey Shore, just as we do every year. My girls are getting a bit older and were well behaved. I couldn't help but feel other people's eyes on us though. I wonder what they were thinking? Do they realize our youngest daughter looks nothing like us? Do they suspect she was adopted? Am I over-analyzing it? Probably!

My in laws were with us. Truthfully, we get less stares when my mother in law is with us. Our youngest somewhat resembles her and I think people assume our daughter looks like grandma.

I think about it too much. I really should learn to care less what others think or their reactions. There are lots of families who have biological children who happen to not look like the parents. I guess in time, I will be less in tune to others reactions and comments. I guess because she's so darn cute, she gets lots of attention, smiles and stares! I take that as a compliment!

16 and Pregnant on MTV

I never really cared for the MTV show "16 and Pregnant" until the last episode. I didn't want to see 16 year old girls who just happened to get pregnant. Well in the last episode, teen couple Catelynn and Tyler make an adoption plan for their baby girl.
They were so emotional, yet so brave and determined to go through with the adoption plan for the sake of the baby. They should be applauded for their maturity and courage.

They met the adoptive parents, Brandon and Theresa and everyone seemed to click. They agreed on a semi open adoption. While watching the show, I found myself so sympathetic to the birth parents, and not as excited for the adoptive parents as I thought I would be. I found myself crying throughout the show. I encourage anyone thinking of placing a baby for adoption, or adopting a baby to see this episode. Just the other night, they aired a follow up show and reunited the adoptive parents and birth parents with five week old Carly. It was amazing.

As an adoptive mother, I "get it". All adoptive mothers get it. We appreciate the sacrifice birthparents make when placing a baby for adoption. We are eternally grateful for the gift of our children and know the decision was not an easy one. Many a birth parent has anguished over their options. I have the highest respect for birth parents, I always have and always will. The gift of love and joy that they bestow upon others by presenting them with a baby is a feeling unmatched.

I hope young people watch this show and learn valuable lessons from it...1)Getting pregnant as a teen means sacrifices-if you aren't ready-don't put yourself in jeopardy of getting pregnant. 2)Adoption is an option. It's difficult, but a way for you to resume your life as you know it and let the child have a better life than you can provide. An adoptive family will be eternally grateful for the gift of life you give them. 3) Teen pregnancy should not be glorified as it is in our society. It's life altering and makes you grow up very quickly. Maybe if it weren't so accepted, young couples would think harder before taking risks.

16 and pregnant on MTV

The stares............

Yes, that's what we get lately-the stares. Why is this blonde haired, blued eyed toddler calling that black haired olive skinned woman Mommy? Because I am her Mom.
People look at her, look at me, look at her, then look at me again. They look puzzled. Some say stupid comments like "Where did she get the blonde hair?" or "Who does she look like?" Does every mother and daughter have to resemble??? The stares are less frequent when I am with my mother in law, who does have blonde hair and blue eyes.

For all those who have adopted a child who looks different from them, you know what I am talking about. I really can't describe the feeling, I can only write about it. Sometimes it gets under my skin about how people are so appalled that we don't look alike. When I see a child with an adult who does look like them, I made no assumptions-I just smile. In the back of my mind, of course, I am thinking that they could be adopted and if they are-how wonderful.

Mothers and daughters are supposed to resemble-remember the Brady Bunch, Bewitched and the mother-daughter teams on reality shows like The Biggest Loser? I don't think society will ever truly accept children who don't resemble their parents. It may always be a mystery to the curiosity seekers.

Love makes a family, not genetics.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Happy Mother's Day! Not only is Mother's Day just for Moms, but it's a time to think about birthmothers and those hoping to me Moms.

Mother's Day is difficult for many women. Maybe their own mother has passed away or the relationship is strained. Maybe they can't be with their own children this holiday. Maybe you are a woman who gave up a baby for adoption and are missing that child more than ever this day. Whatever the case it, Mother's Day isn't always a happy celebrated day for a variety of reasons.

I remember many a Mother's Day I wish I could have slept through. Sure I had my Mom, mother in law, grandmas and sister who were celebrating, but the years when I wanted kids and didn't have any were painful. Going to restaurants and getting wished Happy Mother's Day by well meaning staff. Just smiling and nodding, I had a husband and was certainly old enough to have kids. My sister would let my niece buy me something since I am her Godmother. It's not the same. There was an emptiness that was was indescribable.

I am so thankful for my two miracles who have made my life complete. One miracle who grew in my womb, the other miracle who grew in my heart. God had a plan for me and I would have to wait a bit to be a Mom-it was well worth it!

Think of other women who may be in difficult situations today. Maybe call a friend whose having a rough day or stop by a visit a neighbor whose kids live far away. Remember Moms are a gift, as are children-never take them for granted.

Two Years ago today....please read if you are waiting to adopt...

Two years ago today, my life was forever changed. Like a verse from "I Hope you Dance" from LeeAnn Womack, "whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens", it happened just like that.

Around 10 AM, I found out I was layed off from my Systems Analyst job of three years. Layoffs were coming and I was not shocked, but none the less upset. I was worried about how it would change my status with the adoption/social worker. I packed my desk, said goodbye to my colleagues and went home. I had tickets to see Grease a a local dinner theater that night with a few friends. I was so looking forward to it, but was now bummed out after losing my job.

I showered, got dressed, put on my makeup and my happy face and went to the play. Somewhere in the first act, I received a call from an unknown area code. I forgot about the adoptions ads I placed. I didn't get out the door in time and the call went into voicemail. I listened to the message at intermission and it was a very serious sounding potential birthmother. After playing phone tag for over a week, we started to talk. She was very serious about placing and my beautiful daughter was born on May 20th.

April 28th was one of my darkest days, or so I thought. It turned out to me one of the most pivotal days of my life. One door closed and another one opened. Your life can change with one call. Don't give up hope! When you least expect it, the calls comes that changes your life.

Wicked Star Kristen Chenoweth talks about being adopted!

I found this great video segment on Yahoo today and had to share it!

I have been wanting to see Wicked on Broadway for a while-now I really want to see star Kristen Chenoweth perform. This 6 minute clip just warmed my heart. She is so positive about her adoption and being adopted. I also can relate, wanting my petite blond to feel like she fits in with her taller, brunette family! Too bad more public figures aren't sharing their positive adoption stories.

I also loved this interview because Robin Roberts is a cancer survivor (love to hear women overcoming cancer) and I worked with her in TV in the early 1990s. So glad to see her back in front of the camera!

Please watch this video..........

I am officially a publisher author...of sorts!

If you count e-magazines! I was asked to write an adoption article for theafa.org's newsletter, and I did. I think it's great, but unfortunately, the did not print my bio or contact information, so no contacts came out of it. Disappointed for that, but happy to be published! I hope to write more articles in the future and share my knowledge with others.

Here's a link to my article, published on March 24ths e-newsletter...

You've decided to adopt independently...now what?

Some cute videos

My eleven year old niece is so talented. She decided to make some videos and boy did I have a good laugh. She made one of my older daughter dancing with Troy from High School Musical. It's hysterical.

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My niece is so funny and creative-she must take after me!!! Here's another one she made with my brother Irish step dancing with his four nieces....

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She outta be in pictures!

My youngest daughter is not photogenic-she is prettier in person. I do catch a really good picture of her now and then that I just love. A few friends of mine submitted pictures of their adoptive children to the Adoptive Families magazine photo contest quite a while back. They were both notified today that their sons were picked from 10,000 kids to be in an adoption book that will be published in July 2009. Only 75 pictures were picked, so both were surprised and excited to find out the picture they submitted long ago was considered and chosen to be in the book.

I figured "what the heck" and I sent a few good shots in of my daughter. I wouldn't mind being contacted down the road to tell me she made the magazine or the picture was selected for another publication!

Right Now her hair is at an awkward stage. She takes bows out immediately and her hair is thin, straight and flyaway. I will include a couple of pictures from yesterday. St. Patty's day, which we celebrated by wearing green and making shamrock shakes!

Octomom Nadya Suleman=Deadbeat!

I never did like the idea of this woman with six kids having eight more! Fourteen kids sounds like a kindergarten class-not a family for a single Mom. I guess if Nayda Suleman had enough money to raise her fourteen kids I would be less bothered.

She lives on food stamps, is unemployed, sounds nuts, denies plastic surgery to look like Angelina Jolie (isn't it obvious though) and may not retain custody of her children. I wish her babies well and hope they all are released from the hospital in good health, but how in the world is she supposed to provide care, love and attention for fourteen children under the age of eight? Her parents home is in foreclosure and is too small for all of them to live in, rumor has it-she may be moving into a bigger home.

Is it our job to support this woman? Well luckily I don't live in California, but If I did I would be mad as hell that I have to support this deadbeat who had access to numberous infertility treatments, all of which seemed to work just fine. It's it a kick in the face to those of us that can't have children and have had infertility treatments fail? Her infertility doctor should have his license revoked for implanting her with six embryos.

I can understand a financially and mentally stable single woman having one or two children through invitro, but fourteen? You need a team of people round the clock to care for them! When you impact society with your inability to care for your fourteen children, the public has the right to chime in and complain!

I guess the good news is that there are no more frozen embryos left for Miss Suleman to have implanted in her. Thank God for small miracles?