Have I found my calling????

I have been thinking for months about what I going to do about working in the future. I don't want to go to another 9-5 corporate job where they own you and you may get laid off at any given time. I want freedom. I want to do something I enjoy. I want to help people. I want to spend time with my kids. I don't want my baby to wind up in daycare. I don't want to give away 2/3 of my paycheck to childcare. I want to attend all my kids doctors appointments and functions. I want to be there for them when they are sick with the flu. I want to feel like my experience is helping someone. I want to feel personal pride and satisfaction in my work.

I think I found my calling. For over a year now and since my adoption attorneys met me, they were very sure I should work in the adoption field. I should be an adoption advertising specialist and help people pursuing independent adoption to place ads, create profiles and talk to potentional birthmothers. They said I am so good at it, I have to try it. So many people have told me I would be great at it, not even knowing me very well or what my lawyers were saying. So I am going to go for it. I have been assisting people for months on the phone for free-strangers who just needed help. A friend of mine who used a similiar service in 2007 is faxing me some info and my attorneys are nice enough to sit down with my next week and allow me to ask them all kinds of questions so I can get the ball rolling! That is so nice of them-I know they are busy!

I have lots to do. I am creating an e-book I can send to potential clients, I will probably design a website, register a business name with the county, open a bank account, start networking with other adoption attorneys and social workers, etc. It's exciting! I know it may take a few months to build a bit of a business, but I am prepared for that.

I believe in independent adoption so much, I am choosing to make it my life's work, wish me luck as I begin my career as an independent adoption advertising consultant (That's a mouthful!)

A little depressing this time of year...

I find it a little depressing this time of year, personally. I never liked winter much. The cold, getting dark so early and of course the snow that comes with living in the Northeast. We've had no snow to talk about this year-so I am happy for that! Very happy! Every time they predict it, it doesn't happen!

I guess as February draws near, I am reminded more and more of my first miscarriage. Today my sister told me my cousin is pregnant and due in early September. I was due September 9th. I guess that stirred up memories a little early this year. Last year was rough, but I thought because it was the first year, it would be. I thought this year it would be less painful, as I was blessed to have found our 8 month old daughter. I learned that adding someone to your family doesn't take away the loss of another. I will always think of that baby girl as "Gianna". That was the name I wanted to name her. I was convinced she would look like me with jet black hair and eyes and live up to her Italian name. When we adopted our daughter, we never even considered naming her that, we immediately knew we'd have to choose a completely different, less ethnic name. There would never be another Gianna, she would always be my angel-waiting for me in heaven someday.

Even though my heart is heavy, I will try to keep busy, and be upbeat. I am so lucky to have two beautiful healthy girls. I will always be thankful for them. I do believe my angels brought my baby girl to me-there is no other way to explain the series of events that led to her adoption.

I just keep thinking-Spring is coming!!! Like the Beatles sang "Here comes the sun!"

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
It's all right, it's all right

My latest venture! DirecTV!

I am trying a new venture of sorts! I'm hoping to make some money with this affiliate program so I can stay home with my kids. The thought of leaving the baby in daycare just kills me. It pays $125 per activation, so even if a get a couple a week, it's worth it. I am also trying to find ways to market this according to their terms and conditions (which are lengthy). I have heard some people doing great with this program, so I will spend the time to get the word out there! The best part of it is it is free to sign up, so at least I did not waste any money in an attempt to make money (God knows I have done that far too many times!)


If anyone is thinking of switching from cable to DirecTV, please check out my site!!! Sign up through me!!! Over 85 HD channels and more to come!!


For information-call 1-866-734-0936 or visit my website by clicking on the link or the ad below:

Get rid of cable TV!!!

What a week!!! Big girls don't cry!

What a week! It was a pretty good week and went by so fast. Monday by big girl turned 5. We had visitors Monday and Tuesday. The weather was great for early December with the whole week having high temps in the 50s and 60s. A springlike tease. Then today we topped off the week with a trip to the mall to get a pair of 5 year old ears pierced!!!

My aunt and uncle mailed my daughter a birthday card with a $20 gift card to Claire's botique, which is in our local mall. She was so excited and called it her credit card. I had to explain to her that once the $20 was used, they took the card. She decided the other day she wanted her ears pierced and my husband and I agreed it was time. She told her friends at school yesterday and her friends at dance today. Her cousins, aunt, grandma and great grandma all joined her for support!! We picked out medium sized gold balls. The woman that did it was great! She did one side and then my daughter said it hurt and did not want the other side done. We coaxed her for a minute and she held my hands (at one point I thought we were walking out there with one earring!). She was so happy and proud when it was all over. Like Fergie says "Big Girls Don't Cry".

I have to say the earrings make her look like a big girl and a little more Italian. LOL! Here's my big girl before she got her ears pierced!

Here she is with her cousins..

Here she is after-showing off one ear-sorry I did not get a picture of the woman doing it!

My big girl turned 5 today!

Where has the time gone? My big girl is 5 already! We celebrated yesterday with a family party (about 20 people). Today at school, we brought in a special snack and her class sang happy birthday to her. Tonight I made her favorite dinner-steak, rice and corn and a chocolate chip birthday cookie! We sang again, my best friend and her family came over. Next Sunday is the kiddie party at a local gym-15 kids will be there!!! I think we celebrated plenty! We're getting partied out. She was so happy and proud that today was her birthday. We had it announced on the local radio station this morning!!! She was thrilled!

It was 5 years ago today that I gave birth to Jacqueline via C-section which I opted for. Diagnosed with a rare heart problem, I thought it would be best for the baby. A stupid doctor told me to terminate the baby at 20 weeks because her heart was on the opposite side of her chest (dextracardia), they thought it was a rare disearse called heterotaxy syndrome and that all her organs were reversed. Thank God, I went for a bunch of scans in NYC and it was determined that just her heart was malpositioned and all blood flow to the heart was correct.

I wasn't completely relieved until January 7, 2003 when I saw for myself this tiny, but healthy little girl! A girl-I would have bet the house I was having a boy! I refused to find out, even though the info was in my folder. What an exciting, happy day for our family. I felt physically horrible, but otherwise overjoyed with our miracle baby!

Happy birthday baby-I love you so much! At 5, you are my little sidekick and buddy. We go places, talk, read and shop together. You're no longer a baby or toddler, but a little girl.

Here's my princess shortly after birth and here is a picture of her taken tonight in her ballet PJs. What a difference 5 years makes!!!