OK now I know why I have headaches every day, all day. Litterally-there is not enough Alleve for me.
Placing ads and following up to see your ad appears in the newspaper correctly is time consuming. Talking to folks in the classifieds dept. takes time too. My lawyer has been calling with different things to tell me. Mailing out our adoption business cards with a letter to friends and family.Updating our adoption website to spiffy it up. Calls from women that just sound unbelievable or never call back. Scamming emails for Cameroon with promises of a baby. Other adoptive parents emailing me with advice or looking for assistance. Keeping up my blog. It's become a full time job. I barely sleep at night. When I hit the pillow I am out cold, but I go to bed at Midnight or later every night. Don't even ask about cleaning the house-that's another whole story. I really could use a vacation. I told my husband that when we are blessed with a baby, I will be so relieved mentally, that I will finally be at ease-at least mentally.
NY is such a strange state. We can't use a facilitator or referral agency.
American Adoptions and Adoption Network Law Center can work with 49 states,
guess with one they can't work with? You got it-New York!
I have been placing a good amount of newspaper ads (even statewide) and haven't received a call in weeks. I am spending hundreds per week. I pay to advertise on the internet and barely get any hits from that. I hear the same from other adoptive parents. Few calls and not much action. Basically, such a small percentage of women are looking to place their baby, it is getting harder and harder to adopt.
I will work on how to more effectively manage my adoption related activities and continue to place ads in hopes of finding our baby very soon. Nothing will deter me from completing our family. I guess the sleeplessness is good preparation for when the baby arrives!
Friday, March 30, 2007
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Just need to vent a bit!
So today I was excited, our reworded adoption ad was appearing in three more papers. I checked them online. Two of the three had the ad wrong and our toll free number incorrect. The only one that was right was the one I submitted online myself. GRRR!!! I had to email the two papers and left messages with the classifieds dept. I guess I will straighten it out Monday, but I really wanted those ads to run this weekend.
Independent adoption is physically and emotionally draining. I do the overwhelming majority of the work-ordering business cards, mailing them out, calling crisis pregnancy centers, having our link posted online, placing the ads, etc.
I really think that for these reasons I should be allowed to have complete control over naming the baby-if it's a girl. If it is a boy, it will be named after my husband, but if we do wind up adopting a girl I want to name her the name he vetoed in 2003. I want to name her Jenna. DH thinks people will think of the adult star Jenna Jamieson. Maybe that's just his way of thinking.
We are so undecided about girls names. I want to continue the "J" tradition as our whole families first names beging with J. That's not important to him. We'd like the baby to have an Italian sounding first name, but in reality, the baby we adopt will probably not be Italian and I think we have to take that into consideration and name the baby a more nuetral first name. I also want the baby to have a short name as our DD's name is 10 letters. I guess we will cross this bridge when we get to it. I can't help thinking about this stuff-it make me hopeful!
Independent adoption is physically and emotionally draining. I do the overwhelming majority of the work-ordering business cards, mailing them out, calling crisis pregnancy centers, having our link posted online, placing the ads, etc.
I really think that for these reasons I should be allowed to have complete control over naming the baby-if it's a girl. If it is a boy, it will be named after my husband, but if we do wind up adopting a girl I want to name her the name he vetoed in 2003. I want to name her Jenna. DH thinks people will think of the adult star Jenna Jamieson. Maybe that's just his way of thinking.
We are so undecided about girls names. I want to continue the "J" tradition as our whole families first names beging with J. That's not important to him. We'd like the baby to have an Italian sounding first name, but in reality, the baby we adopt will probably not be Italian and I think we have to take that into consideration and name the baby a more nuetral first name. I also want the baby to have a short name as our DD's name is 10 letters. I guess we will cross this bridge when we get to it. I can't help thinking about this stuff-it make me hopeful!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
The Littlest things make me happy!
OK, you know it's bad when wearing new panties makes you happy. Nothing special, just a new pair of Hanes hi cut panties I bought yesterday at K Mart. I guess it's nice not have warn out elastic and holes. It made my day. I'm wearing another one of my new pairs tomorrow!!! And as a bonus, I wore new socks today. What a day!!!
The air had a bit of a Spring feel to it and for some reason when I got out of work, I started to think about Mr. Softee. That's my favorite and so rarely do a see a Mr. Softee truck. Sure enough I was walking in my neighborhood an hour later and what do I see-Mr. Softee. It was almost deja vu. That truck has not been around since September. I resisted the urge to buy anything as my dieting is top priority these days!
I had to laugh. I placed Statewide classifieds ads in the entire state of West Virginia in hopes of meeting a potential birthmother. One paper put our number with an add for "work from home". I got four calls already about working from home. Drives me nuts. I get excited when the phone rings only to find out they really are not responding to my ad. It's part of the process! I found it kind of amusing! I may get calls like this for days!
The air had a bit of a Spring feel to it and for some reason when I got out of work, I started to think about Mr. Softee. That's my favorite and so rarely do a see a Mr. Softee truck. Sure enough I was walking in my neighborhood an hour later and what do I see-Mr. Softee. It was almost deja vu. That truck has not been around since September. I resisted the urge to buy anything as my dieting is top priority these days!
I had to laugh. I placed Statewide classifieds ads in the entire state of West Virginia in hopes of meeting a potential birthmother. One paper put our number with an add for "work from home". I got four calls already about working from home. Drives me nuts. I get excited when the phone rings only to find out they really are not responding to my ad. It's part of the process! I found it kind of amusing! I may get calls like this for days!
Monday, March 19, 2007
Bowling seaseon, interrupted
Like my favorite movie Girl Interrupted, so my bowling season. Seven weeks shy of completing the season, our league had to suddenly come to an end due to the collapse of the roof of the bowling alley Saturday afternoon. 100 people were there, mostly kids having birthday parties and it is a miracle everyone got out safely. I am bummed out though. My ball, bag and two pairs of shoes are in the locker and I can't get them. I also did not want to end the year like this. I had so much hope for us moving up from 4th place. I had 2nd high game!
Oh well, everything happens for a reason! Maybe I needed a break. Or maybe our baby is joining our family sooner than we think.
The repairs will be made and hopefully everything will be back to normal by fall of 2007. I was contemplating not coming back, hoping to have two kids at that time and take a year off from bowling, but I am reconsidering. I feel bad. I have been bowling there weekly for almost 14 years. I felt comfortable there, it was "my house". I knew the lanes. I used to see the same women week after week. Last thing I said to everyone was "See you next Tuesday". Twas not meant to be! What a wierd freak of nature-roof collapsing from heavy snow and ice that fell the night before! We've had 26 inch blizzards here for God's sake. I guess 10 inches of snow plus a good amount of ice were too much for the roof.
I guess on the brightside, all the equipment will be fixed. We usely to complain weekly about how the equipment kept breaking down.
Here's the story in our local paper:
Jefferson Valley Lanes roof collapses
What will I do on Tuesday nights?
Oh well, everything happens for a reason! Maybe I needed a break. Or maybe our baby is joining our family sooner than we think.
The repairs will be made and hopefully everything will be back to normal by fall of 2007. I was contemplating not coming back, hoping to have two kids at that time and take a year off from bowling, but I am reconsidering. I feel bad. I have been bowling there weekly for almost 14 years. I felt comfortable there, it was "my house". I knew the lanes. I used to see the same women week after week. Last thing I said to everyone was "See you next Tuesday". Twas not meant to be! What a wierd freak of nature-roof collapsing from heavy snow and ice that fell the night before! We've had 26 inch blizzards here for God's sake. I guess 10 inches of snow plus a good amount of ice were too much for the roof.
I guess on the brightside, all the equipment will be fixed. We usely to complain weekly about how the equipment kept breaking down.
Here's the story in our local paper:
Jefferson Valley Lanes roof collapses
What will I do on Tuesday nights?
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Disappointments in pursuit of private adoption!
I think I hit rock bottom yesterday. A potential birthmother that called twice Thursday night never called back Friday after she said she would. Her number was unlisted and I had to wait until Sunday for my toll free service to obtain the number. When I called Sunday that number was no longer in service or had been disconnected! UGH! She was due in 6 weeks!!! I wish she would call me again if she was indeed a real potential birthmother.
Then yesterday I did some cyber searching on the net and paid money to access some databases. A potential birthmother from Arkansas due in July told us she was 26. The only woman with that name in that small town of Arkansas is 41 years old! Given the information could be inaccurate, but from the first time I spoke to her I thought she sounded a lot older then 26! Now I wonder if she is even pregnant. I will doubt everything from this point on. I wish she would have told us the truth. In reality she just may be a lonely woman enjoying the attention. This sucks. I am so disappointed about this-I really had my hopes up. I left her a message saying we would like proof of pregnancy to advance the process further and we would like to work with her. Let's see where this leads us. Probably to another dead end.
Thousands of dollars in ads and this is what I get-lies, lost contacts and shattered dreams. I have ads in Newsday, 20 thirfty Nickels as as well as other major newspapers. Our ad was out there to well over one million people this week. What more can I do, or afford to do?
I cried yesterday for the first time in a while. I cried for my angels that would have saved me from this. I would have had them by now. I wouldn't be going through this.
Maybe I am too trusting and naive to go this route. I am working so hard doing all the right things and feel like I am not getting results. Only another adoptive parent going the independent private adoption route would know how I feel today.
I keep having dreams that someone calls me and tells me a baby was born and we were chosen. Yeah-must be a dream. But I always wake up smiling!
Like Annie said "The sun will come out tomorrow". Tomorrow is a new day and who knows I just may get "that call" we've been waiting for!
Then yesterday I did some cyber searching on the net and paid money to access some databases. A potential birthmother from Arkansas due in July told us she was 26. The only woman with that name in that small town of Arkansas is 41 years old! Given the information could be inaccurate, but from the first time I spoke to her I thought she sounded a lot older then 26! Now I wonder if she is even pregnant. I will doubt everything from this point on. I wish she would have told us the truth. In reality she just may be a lonely woman enjoying the attention. This sucks. I am so disappointed about this-I really had my hopes up. I left her a message saying we would like proof of pregnancy to advance the process further and we would like to work with her. Let's see where this leads us. Probably to another dead end.
Thousands of dollars in ads and this is what I get-lies, lost contacts and shattered dreams. I have ads in Newsday, 20 thirfty Nickels as as well as other major newspapers. Our ad was out there to well over one million people this week. What more can I do, or afford to do?
I cried yesterday for the first time in a while. I cried for my angels that would have saved me from this. I would have had them by now. I wouldn't be going through this.
Maybe I am too trusting and naive to go this route. I am working so hard doing all the right things and feel like I am not getting results. Only another adoptive parent going the independent private adoption route would know how I feel today.
I keep having dreams that someone calls me and tells me a baby was born and we were chosen. Yeah-must be a dream. But I always wake up smiling!
Like Annie said "The sun will come out tomorrow". Tomorrow is a new day and who knows I just may get "that call" we've been waiting for!
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
The best part of my day!
We had a bad flood in our basement this past Friday-thousands of dollars of stuff ruined. Precious photos gone. Two days or pumping out water and cleaning out the basement-not fun. We're getting the basement waterproofed on Thursday and I am trying to put it behind us.
I haven't gotten any calls to speak of from our adoption advertising. I did get one tonight for a really nice girl who only lived an hour away and who I immediately liked. She thinks she is three months along, hasn't been to the doctor yet and will call me next week. I want to talk to a woman that's due in a month or two-everyone I talk to is due in August. I feel bummed. Some days I feel hopeless and think a baby will never join this family.
I had have one bright spot in my day. I get into work and listen to my voicemail. Last night my husband dialed by work number and let our daughter leave a message. Just hearing a voicemail from her in her cute four year old voice melted my heart. I had to save it. She said "I love you Mommy, have a nice day!" I will replay that at work every time I feel down. Next year I want two little voices to be leaving me messages!!! That's my goal and I'm sticking to it!!!
I haven't gotten any calls to speak of from our adoption advertising. I did get one tonight for a really nice girl who only lived an hour away and who I immediately liked. She thinks she is three months along, hasn't been to the doctor yet and will call me next week. I want to talk to a woman that's due in a month or two-everyone I talk to is due in August. I feel bummed. Some days I feel hopeless and think a baby will never join this family.
I had have one bright spot in my day. I get into work and listen to my voicemail. Last night my husband dialed by work number and let our daughter leave a message. Just hearing a voicemail from her in her cute four year old voice melted my heart. I had to save it. She said "I love you Mommy, have a nice day!" I will replay that at work every time I feel down. Next year I want two little voices to be leaving me messages!!! That's my goal and I'm sticking to it!!!
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