Adoption efforts can be severely hampered if you are not emotionally over infertility. I have known some people who adopted, because they wanted to. They could have a baby, those CHOSE to adopt. They are usually very committed to the process. They are eager and ready to adopt.
I find that people (both men and women) who have not put infertility issues aside, are not mentally ready to adopt. They go through the motions, they fill out the paperwork, get their homestudy done, etc. Then they don't do what they need to to keep the process going. They drag their feet creating a profile, creating an adoption website, getting networking cards, etc. The drive is just not there because the are not 100% fully committed to adoption. Maybe they will get pregnant this month and they won't have to go through all this to have a baby. Maybe that's not a possibility, but they haven't completely come to terms with infertility. I know, that was me in 2001-2002. I was "living in two worlds". Each month hoping to get pregnant and each month passing with me dragging my feet on adoption tasks that my lawyer needed me to do. I know how it feels to be "on the fence". It's not conducive to a successful adoption.
In late 2006, when I met with our adoption attorneys they just knew. They knew that we were going to be successful in adopting and it was going to happen soon. they knew I had a fire in me that made me want to do everything possibly to adopt quickly-and they were right. My desire and committment to adoption made me order networking cards, do all our paperwork, get our homestudy done soon, create our adoption website, etc. as quickly as possible. We had an adoption situation that looked promising before our homestudy was approved. That's how fast I was moving. I was no longer "on the fence". We knew it was adoption, and only adoption that was going to make our family grow in 2007. I had given up on the idea of ever becoming pregnant again-and was OK with that.
If you are considering adoption, or in the process of adopting-whether it be domestic or international, independent or agency-make sure you are ready and committed to the process. It makes the process easier to handle and you are much more likely to do what it takes to help your baby find you in the soonest amount of time. If you are still dealing infertility issues and haven't fully come to terms with them-you may need to seek counseling or wait until you are emotionally ready to adopt.
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