Why would someone pretend to be pregnant and lead a couple to believe she wanted them to adopt her baby? Good question! Dr. Phil did a show on this last year. My phone was flooded with calls from concerned relatives and friends as we were in the middle of advertising when the show aired.
We did meet up with a scammer-she led us along for two months and I am quite sure she had done it before. By the third phone call, I did not believe her. I had done some internet research on this woman from a small town in Arkansas and I knew she was lying, but never let her know my suspicions. She never did provide my lawyer with proof of pregnancy. Then I pushed the envelope. I said my husband and I wanted to fly down one weekend and meet her. All of a sudden, her ex boyfriend was back in the picture and they were raising the baby-just like that. I never heard from her again. Amazing huh? She probably moved onto a new couple. Although no money changed hands-it was costly. All the hours she and I talked to my attorney at $250 an hour, all the paperwork fedexed back and forth that she never filled out, and that slight, false hope we had, that maybe, just maybe, she really was pregnant.
These scammers are not out for the money, they love the attention. They may be lonely and lacking self confidence. They may even be mentally ill. They like knowing they are important to hopeful adoptive parents. Some will carry it really far and send fake sonograms and medical reports. They really are out to hurt others and need counseling desperately.
Emotional scammers pray on adoptive parents, more so, couples that are adopting independently, but some are known to even fool adoption agencies. Unfortunately, once this happens to you, it breaks your trust and you tend to doubt every call you get from an potential birthmother-your guard is definitely up.
Depending on the severity and if money was taken, scammers can be prosecuted and spend time in jail. It doesn't take away the pain a couple feels after having their hopes dashed that soon they would be parents.
If you doubt the birthmother you spoke to is really pregnant, let your adoption attorney do some investigating for you. Sometimes they can call other lawyers and find out if she has been telling the same or similar stories to other couples. Also, check the adoption scam sites, although scammers frequently used different names, email addresses and locations. Beware, be careful, but don't lose faith in the process-it does work!
Here are a couple of great adoption scam sites, you should check frequently:
http://www.adoptionscams.net/
http://www.abcadoptions.com/scams.htm
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