I must be old fashioned...

I get an email from a friend of mine who is in her late 30's - she has happy news to share! I figured she was announcing her engagement-I was right. Great news. Also in the same sentence she announces she is pregnant and due late March/early April. She must have know she was pregnant since the end of September, if not earlier. She just got engaged last week. I don't even know if the wedding will be pre baby or post baby. Even more interesting-would it be a church wedding since she is Catholc too???

So the way I see it, it's a case of "Let's get married since you are already pregnant". I am really opposed to that. We are talking about people in their late 30s. I don't care if you are 17, 27 or 37, I think you should be married first, then conceive the baby. I don't think a marriage should be based on a circumstance. I think you should be committed before you start making babies. Maybe I am just an old fashioned catholic whose still thinking like it's the 1940s or 50s, but I strongly believe in marriage before kids and hope that someday my girls don't disappoint me and choose to have children after they are married.

Let's face it, kids get older, they can do the math and they will realize they were born less then 9 months after their parents married. Heck, years ago my family got a Christmas card from friends outlining when they got married, when the kids joined the family, etc. Their family Christmas card announced that they got married in February and their first child was born that April-just two months later. Why would you announce that in a timeline Christmas card??? They got married and had the baby in the early 70s when it was much less accepted. I was embarassed for them.

Don't get me wrong. I am very happy for my friend and wish her all the best, but my own personal morals and values don't agree with the order in which things panned out for her. I know she really wanted a baby, so much so that she was considering being a single Mom and going to a sperm bank a couple of years ago. I just hope they are really in love and getting married for the right reasons. Getting married because a baby is on the way is one of the reasons this country has such a high divorce rate.

I still believe-first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage! Call me old fashioned.