Two Years ago today....please read if you are waiting to adopt...

Two years ago today, my life was forever changed. Like a verse from "I Hope you Dance" from LeeAnn Womack, "whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens", it happened just like that.

Around 10 AM, I found out I was layed off from my Systems Analyst job of three years. Layoffs were coming and I was not shocked, but none the less upset. I was worried about how it would change my status with the adoption/social worker. I packed my desk, said goodbye to my colleagues and went home. I had tickets to see Grease a a local dinner theater that night with a few friends. I was so looking forward to it, but was now bummed out after losing my job.

I showered, got dressed, put on my makeup and my happy face and went to the play. Somewhere in the first act, I received a call from an unknown area code. I forgot about the adoptions ads I placed. I didn't get out the door in time and the call went into voicemail. I listened to the message at intermission and it was a very serious sounding potential birthmother. After playing phone tag for over a week, we started to talk. She was very serious about placing and my beautiful daughter was born on May 20th.

April 28th was one of my darkest days, or so I thought. It turned out to me one of the most pivotal days of my life. One door closed and another one opened. Your life can change with one call. Don't give up hope! When you least expect it, the calls comes that changes your life.

Wicked Star Kristen Chenoweth talks about being adopted!

I found this great video segment on Yahoo today and had to share it!

I have been wanting to see Wicked on Broadway for a while-now I really want to see star Kristen Chenoweth perform. This 6 minute clip just warmed my heart. She is so positive about her adoption and being adopted. I also can relate, wanting my petite blond to feel like she fits in with her taller, brunette family! Too bad more public figures aren't sharing their positive adoption stories.

I also loved this interview because Robin Roberts is a cancer survivor (love to hear women overcoming cancer) and I worked with her in TV in the early 1990s. So glad to see her back in front of the camera!

Please watch this video..........

I am officially a publisher author...of sorts!

If you count e-magazines! I was asked to write an adoption article for theafa.org's newsletter, and I did. I think it's great, but unfortunately, the did not print my bio or contact information, so no contacts came out of it. Disappointed for that, but happy to be published! I hope to write more articles in the future and share my knowledge with others.

Here's a link to my article, published on March 24ths e-newsletter...

You've decided to adopt independently...now what?

Some cute videos

My eleven year old niece is so talented. She decided to make some videos and boy did I have a good laugh. She made one of my older daughter dancing with Troy from High School Musical. It's hysterical.

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My niece is so funny and creative-she must take after me!!! Here's another one she made with my brother Irish step dancing with his four nieces....

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She outta be in pictures!

My youngest daughter is not photogenic-she is prettier in person. I do catch a really good picture of her now and then that I just love. A few friends of mine submitted pictures of their adoptive children to the Adoptive Families magazine photo contest quite a while back. They were both notified today that their sons were picked from 10,000 kids to be in an adoption book that will be published in July 2009. Only 75 pictures were picked, so both were surprised and excited to find out the picture they submitted long ago was considered and chosen to be in the book.

I figured "what the heck" and I sent a few good shots in of my daughter. I wouldn't mind being contacted down the road to tell me she made the magazine or the picture was selected for another publication!

Right Now her hair is at an awkward stage. She takes bows out immediately and her hair is thin, straight and flyaway. I will include a couple of pictures from yesterday. St. Patty's day, which we celebrated by wearing green and making shamrock shakes!

Octomom Nadya Suleman=Deadbeat!

I never did like the idea of this woman with six kids having eight more! Fourteen kids sounds like a kindergarten class-not a family for a single Mom. I guess if Nayda Suleman had enough money to raise her fourteen kids I would be less bothered.

She lives on food stamps, is unemployed, sounds nuts, denies plastic surgery to look like Angelina Jolie (isn't it obvious though) and may not retain custody of her children. I wish her babies well and hope they all are released from the hospital in good health, but how in the world is she supposed to provide care, love and attention for fourteen children under the age of eight? Her parents home is in foreclosure and is too small for all of them to live in, rumor has it-she may be moving into a bigger home.

Is it our job to support this woman? Well luckily I don't live in California, but If I did I would be mad as hell that I have to support this deadbeat who had access to numberous infertility treatments, all of which seemed to work just fine. It's it a kick in the face to those of us that can't have children and have had infertility treatments fail? Her infertility doctor should have his license revoked for implanting her with six embryos.

I can understand a financially and mentally stable single woman having one or two children through invitro, but fourteen? You need a team of people round the clock to care for them! When you impact society with your inability to care for your fourteen children, the public has the right to chime in and complain!

I guess the good news is that there are no more frozen embryos left for Miss Suleman to have implanted in her. Thank God for small miracles?

Signed up with an agency for domestic adoption? You MUST read this post!

I know so many people who are signed up with agencies and pursuing independent adoption. Many of them are waiting for more than a year. I know you have probably spent a lot of time getting approved and putting together your profile and now are just waiting for the agency to call and say you were matched or there is a birthmother interested in you. Rarely does it work that way. Sometimes it does, but with domestic adoption being as competitive as it is now, you have to do more than wait for the phone to ring.

You have to take action. You have to create your own adoption website, you have to promote your adoption website, you have to network with friends and family and you should consider running print ads. I know these are the steps you usually take in independent adoption, but with agencies cutting back on their advertising (due to the economy), the are getting few placements, but many couples signing up. You have to help yourself out as much as you can afford to in an effort to minimize the wait.

If you are open to various races for a child, or a special needs child, you may not be up against the intense competition to adopt a baby, but it still may make sense to take some steps to get the word out there on your own.

Creating a good adoption website maybe the best tool and best investment of a few hundred dollars in your entire adoption journey. Many, many couples have been matched by the right woman seeing their adoption website!

If you need help creating an adoption website, I can do that at a reasonable price. You supply the text and pictures and I will make it look terrific and be found at the top of the search engines! Visit my website:

http://adoptionadvertising.net

An adoption success.....

This morning I received a very welcomed phone call from a client. An adoption success story!!! A whirlwind week ending with them welcoming their son into their family. When you least expect it, the call comes!!! They were actually away on a mini vacation with their older daughter earlier this week, when they first heard of the situation.

The baby was due to be born in a day or two and there was no time to dilly-dally. So straight from their mini vacation, they headed to the state where this baby was due (luckily it was just a few hours drive). Not much packed in the car, but luckily their camera and enough clothes to get by! Not knowing what to expect, the potential birthmom spoke to them, met them and really like them. She placed her baby with them right after birth. They met the extended birthfamily in the hospital and it was wonderful.

I think they are still in shock how after months of situations falling through, periods of no phone calls, emails from scammers, and feeling quite low (as of a week ago), your life can change on a dime. It's called fate. Fate is what ultimately determines the baby you adopt. An ad placed in a certain paper at the right time, a friend of a friend hears of a situation and calls you, a woman sees your adoption website and is drawn to you, another couple backs out last minute and you get the call. There are always an interesting series of events that's involved an any adoption story-that's why I love hearing them. Every adoption story is unique, but there is one common threat-FATE.

I am also happy to report that the phone is ringing for some of my other clents with potential adoption situations. There was a lull in phone calls for a few weeks, but the lull seems to be over!
I hope to have more success stories to report in the weeks and months ahead!

Congratulations to this family of four! Enjoy the newest addition to your family. He is lucky to have found a family like you!

Just checking in!

Sorry I have been a bad blogger lately. I have been busy with my family, my business and a little bit of ebay! :) Valentine's Day has come and gone and I am fighting off bronchitis for a week now. The days are just flying by. I can't wait to feel better and get back to get back to the gym and my diet. Taking megadoses of steroids so I can breath is not what I had hoped when I went to the doctor, but I have to breath.

Some of my clients and friends have been getting some interesting and hopeful adoption calls and situations. I get excited for each and every one of them and hope that if it's meant to be, it works out that way. I truly am happy for them and know that hopeful excited feeling of thinking your baby may finally be coming to you soon.

I have heard that February can be a slow month for adoption calls too, so if you are placing ads, promoting your adoption website and not getting calls-don't get too alarmed. It happens-I, myself went 3-4 weeks without a single call, in spite of spending $1300-$1400 a month on print ads.

Keep the faith and keep advertising! Even if things don't look hopeful, it takes one call to change your life!

Adoption-one step at a time!

Sorry to be MIA, I have been super busy with my business and the kids.

I am thinking of all my friends who are waiting to adopt. Waiting is the hardest part whether you are adopting domestically or internationally. Every time I hear this song by Jordin Sparks, I think of those waiting to adopt. I love this song, and "It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen!" I do believe that. The words are perfect! Enjoy the song and don't give up hope. Every day you get one step closer to your child!

What states are good to advertise in for adoption?

I get that question all the time. I wish I knew for sure. I just look for feedback from adoption attorneys, friends and my clients as to where the emails and phone calls are coming from. A few select states don't allow print ads or you wouldn't advertise there because they are agency states. Three quarters of the states are good for advertising. Advertise where it makes sense for you. How far are you willing to travel? Do you have family and friends in certain states so you can stay with them and wait out ICPC?

I always say you should start within driving range and work your way further away if you must. Look at the demographics before you place ads. You want areas where the race reflects the child you hope to adopt and that the population is of child bearing age. Ads in retirement communities in Arizona will do you no good. Lots of areas are hurting from the poor economy, some more than others. You may want to factor that in. Look at the circulation of the paper in comparison to the price of an ad. A one week ad for a 20,000 circulation paper at $100 is not a great deal. A one week ad in a paper with a circulation of 300,000 for $100 is a good deal. Use your advertising dollars wisely. It comes down to putting out lots of ads, doing your research and hoping your ad is in the right place at the right time.

Right now, my clients are getting calls and emails from lots of different places. I can't even narrow down a trend. Don't be discouraged when days or weeks go by without a contact. It happened to me. I think I went three weeks without a call-probably $1,000 of advertising money spent-without a call. Then I got a call-it was "the call". It would be my last call. It resulted in the adoption of my daughter three weeks and two days after that last call.

When you you least expect it, you get "the call"!

My big girl turned 6 last week!

Well, it's official, Jacqueline is 6 (as of January 7th) and boy did she grow this year! I know she grew, but I am still in shock at how much!

She went for her annual checkup yesterday. From last year's checkup-she gained 11 pounds and now weighs 47 pounds! (62nd percentile). I felt like she would never reach 40 pounds and get into a booster seat this past Spring! She grew 3 1/2 inches and is now 45 1/2 inches (54th percentile).

Wow! My little girl is growing up. After numerous birthday celebrations-I think the celebrating is over and it's back to the usual routine.

Here are a few pictures of the birthday girl taken last week!

Finding adoptive parents for biracial of African American babies

It seems there is a gap, that I hope I can help fix, even if in some small way. Many Caucasian couples are seeking Caucasian babies and do not express an interest in biracial or African American babies. I know some people pursuing independent adoption feel bad. They receive a call from a woman who wants to make an adoption plan, and the baby they are carrying is biracial or African American and the situation isn't right for them. They don't have anyone else to refer this potential birthmother to. Sometimes the potential birthmother will say "You are the third or fourth couple I called and no one is interested in my baby."

There is definitely a gap here. There are many couples of all kinds, interested in biracial and African American babies. It's just not easy to find them. It can be like finding a needle in a haystack. It can be frustrating for the potential birthmom as well as the couples hoping to adopt a minority baby.

A few months ago a friend posted that she received a call about a biracial baby and was not interested in the situation. I emailed her for information and passed it onto someone in the next state who I know was very interested. Long story short, they are matched and the baby is due very soon. I think my intervention helped all around-1) a birthmother was interested in talking to her and was relieved and 2) A family longing for a baby to love will finally have their dream come true.

I place ads for some clients who want to adopt a minority baby, some newspapers will not print "We are hoping to adopt a biracial or African American baby". They claim it's discrimination. I see their point, but they really want to get the word out that they are open to a minority baby, so a potential birthmom will feel assured knowing if they contacted this couple, she would be rejected.

Maybe some of the online sites that accept profiles and site links from other couples hoping to adopt should allow these couples to be more descriptive or divide their site by the type of child the adopting families are hoping to adopt. Something needs to be done to bridge this gap and help these babies find loving homes without fear of rejection. I guess I have to put my thinking cap on and figure out how I can be the catalyst for change.

I do know of one multiracial family hoping to adopt a biracial or African American baby. They are homestudy approved and can adopt on short notice. They are a wonderful, diverse family and I will take this opportunity to list their adoption website in case anyone reading this is looking for an adoptive family for their unborn baby, who happens to be biracial or African American.

http://twofantasticmoms.com

Thank you to my adoption attorneys..

I wanted to take this opportunity to thank Denise Seidelman and Nina Rumbold for all their help the past two years. I met them in late 2006 when my husband and I decided to pursue independent adoption. They are wonderful, caring, knowledgeable attorneys who put their clients first!

I just love them and they really saw a spark in me from the begnning and know we would be successful in adopting soon, due to my perserverance and creativity. They were right and five months after being certified, we welcomed a daughter home. They started telling me how I could help others, how I had the know how and skills to offer services to couples hoping to adopt. I didn't believe in myself, but they believed in me. After 17 months of them telling me "You have to do this". I did it. I started my own adoption advertising/consulting service and it's going really well. I love what I am doing and my greatest joy comes from others having success.

I want to thank them, not only for their help and how smoothly our adoption went, but for seeing something in me I did not see. They are constantly trying to help me build my business and referring their clients to me. I will be working with them more closely in 2009 on some administrative/creative things for their practice.

If you live in the NY/NJ metropolitan area and are considering independent adoption, please contact Rumbold and Seidelman. They are wonderful people and skilled adoption attorneys!

Here's their website!

http://adoptionlawny.com

The Pursuit of Happyness!

First of all, Happy New Year! I hope 2009 brings good health and happiness to all my friends!!! We are ringing in 2009 rather quietly this year. A snowstorm, cold weather and high winds have diverted our plans. Rather than going to dinner and having my in laws watching the kids, we choose to stay home. I cooked a Ravioli dinner and my older daughter and I made brownies. We're making a little party out of it!

Today I realized total bliss. My two girls were playing together and laughing. They were riding little cars up and down the hallway (in our house, none the less). Just to see them finally interacting together and laughing, warmed my heart and made me feel like the luckiest woman alive. Since I was a little child, I dreamed of being a mother of two, and watching them play together and enjoy each other as siblings. I know with a gap of four plus years between my kids, it might take time for that to happen, but today, I could say it really did for the first time. There were days when I thought I would never have one child, let alone two. To see them play together today was priceless.

Ten or even twenty years ago, a good New Year's Eve was going out to a fancy restaurant for dinner, drinking up a storm, partying till the wee hours of the morning, booking a hotel room for the night, dressing up in our best clothes. Now a good New Year's Eve is home with the kids, eating snacks, watching them play and watching Shrek on TV. Our lives have really changed-I know for the better!

I never knew the simple things in life could make me so happy! For those of you pursuing adoption, I hope 2009 is the year you welcome a little one to your home. Do not give up your pursuit of happyness! Here is a picture of my girls playing today...thanks for allowing me to indulge.

Busy, busy, busy thanks to the Holidays!

The holidays are right at our heels. I have all my presents bought and 99% of them wrapped. I am in pretty good shape this year and spend the next couple of days doing odds and ends for the holidays!

I can't find a couple of presents (hope they turn up), I bought them and misplaced them! I have a couple of holiday parties to go to. I hope to make some cookies with my older daughter. All in all, nothing I can't handle!

It snowed yesterday and it's going to snow again tomorrow. I know it helps some people get into the spirit, but I am not a fan of snow. Good thing my shopping is all done! I guess I should start thinking about Florida or Arizona now! LOL!

Here's our holiday card! I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season and that 2009 brings peace, good health and prosperity to all!

"A home for the Holidays" adoption special airs 12/23

Be sure to tune in to this annual special which airs on CBS on Tuesday 12/23 at 8 PM Eastern time. I will tune in with my kleenex!

http://www.washingt onpost.com/ wp-dyn/content/ article/2008/ 12/11/AR20081211 02242.html

Stars Align for Adoption

By Susan C. Young Special to The Washington Post
Sunday, December 14, 2008; Y03

Faith Hill watched the TV monitor as the story unfolded of one child's journey from foster care to a loving home, then walked out on the stage to sing "There You'll Be" and instantly choked up with tears.

"Oh, mercy. I had to start over, which never happens," Hill said about her experience taping this year's CBS holiday special on adoption. "As an adopted child, I really have a place in my soul for these children. You'd have to be made of wood not to feel the emotional impact of these stories."

Hill's husband, Tim McGraw, as well as Melissa Etheridge, Jamie Foxx and Gavin Rossdale, are among the performers featured on "The 10th Annual A Home for the Holidays With Faith Hill," airing Tuesday.

Musical performances and personal stories from celebrities frame segments focusing primarily on families who have appeared on the holiday show during the past decade.

One segment tells the story of Frederick Millner of Santa Clarita, Calif., who stayed in foster care until he was 18. Millner, who with his wife adopted a young boy in foster care, said, "I tell my son how much I love him every day. There was always an outline to my life, but my wife and son are the light that has filled the darkness."

These heart-tugging segments even affected the hard-rocking Etheridge.

"I ended up in tears by the end of the show," said Etheridge, who adopted her four children. "TV can be so cynical and stale, but every year this program reaches out and you see the results and see those children getting adopted. . . . It's a total 10-hankie show."

Betsy and David Miles of Richmond, who adopted 9-year-old Katy, recount how they were asked to consider a 14-year-old boy, Haisten, as a temporary placement. (The average age for foster care adoption is 8, and older children are often harder to place.) The couple eventually adopted Haisten.

Older children aren't as appealing to people who want to adopt, said Hill, 41, who was adopted as an infant. "It's easy to forget in this world of excess, shock value and getting the most bang for the buck that the simplest things in life are the ones most valued," Hill said.

"A Home for the Holidays" is presented by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, which was established in 1992 by the late Thomas, the founder of Wendy's restaurants, who also was an adopted child.

In the United States foster care system, about 129,000 children are eligible for adoption, according to a January report by the Department of Health and Human Services.

This may be the result of misconceptions about adopting foster children, including the idea that they are more likely to be juvenile delinquents, said Rita Soronen, executive director of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

"That couldn't be further from the truth. These are kids who had a rough start in life and need a supportive family," Soronen said. "And there's a lingering sense that the biological families can reclaim these children, but that's not true."

For some, it seems as though a program such as this puts children on parade for the holidays. But Soronen said the holiday-themed special just nudges people into making a commitment they've probably been considering for some time.

As Hill talked about her own Christmas plans -- spending time with family and friends, baking cookies -- her husband chimed in from the background that they'll be watching football. After a quick laugh, she said this is what she wants for these foster children -- the kind of family she has now, and the family she had growing up.

"I was always very grateful that I had my family -- my two brothers and my parents, who now have been married for 52 years," she said.

Hill and McGraw's children -- Gracie, 11, Maggie, 10, and Audrey, 7 -- know their mom was adopted and their father was raised by a stepfather who adopted him.

"We never forget that there are children who don't have families, who have to move from one location to another, never sure if they will get pulled out of a situation," Hill said. "This program makes the gap smaller between people who want to adopt and the children who are waiting to find a permanent home."

"A Home for the Holidays" airs Tuesday at 8 p.m. on CBS.

Where are women considering adoption looking for adoptinve parents?

I can't figure out where women are looking, when it comes to finding adoptive parents for the baby they are carrying. I thought adoptions were an even split between networking, newspaper ads and online matches. It seems that networking still is the most common way for a birthmother to find adoptive parents, at least that's what my adoption attorneys say.

Since Parent profiles no longer accepts NY families (and CA families), where do women search when considering finding adoptive parents? I can tell you first hand that these online adoption sites that couples are paying good money too every month are not working. I look at my clients stats online and they ARE NOT getting hits from these paid sites. It's pretty much a waste of money (and hope)! Newspaper ads are expensive, but do produce some results.

I still believe you have to network though brochures, adoption cards, letters, email, social networking and in person networking. Don't be afraid to network again in 3-6 months.

Another family created!

Well, this week brought good news. A friend of mine and her husband have adopted a baby boy born earlier this week. They had a rocky road that included a failed adopted earlier in 2009. This baby was due a few weeks ago and I think everyone was getting antsy! Paperwork will be signed soon and they are very excited.

They are such a wonderful couple and will make excellent parents. We met because this summer I their networking adoption card in my local cultural center. I emailed them to offer my support and wish them luck. She lives in another part of NY, but a relative who lives near me actually put the card up. We struck up an online friendship and were emailing almost daily with the latest on their adoption journey. October proved to be lucky for them, when they were picked by the birthparents of their son.

A few weeks ago, I went to an adoption conference and they were the first to greet me when I walked in the door! I got to talk to the new Mom today who sounded more excited than anything else! I can't wait to see pictures of their new arrival.

Just another example of how perseverance never fails and it is all worthwhile in the end! They baby that was meant to be theirs is now their son!

Sunday's APC Adoption conference was amazing!

I can't tell you how much I enjoyed the annual APC Adoption conference in NYC this past Sunday. As soon as I walked in the door, I was greeted by a friend I made online a few months ago, but had not met in person. It was so nice to get a warm greeting from her and her husband and to finally meet her in person. They are hopeful adoptive parents!

I went to a few adoption workshops and ended up speaking on a panel in one session. I met some online friends I never met before, my attorneys were there, a few of my clients were there and I made a few great contacts with couples hoping to adopt as well as attorneys interested in my services. I took lots of notes and tried to absorb as much information as possible. There was so much out there, it would have been easy to be overwhelmed. It's very valuable information and really is a must attend for anyone in the NYC area who is considering adoption, is in the process or has already adopted-whether domestically or internationally. Mark your calendars APC members, it's always the Sunday before Thanksgiving!

I have to say I was especially proud of myself for finding my way down to Cornell Weill Medical college in NYC and back without getting lost! LOL!

I have been so busy this week doing things for my current clients! It scares me to think this business could explode and be more than I can handle! Right now I am OK, but it can get crazy soon. I don't mind it at all, but the advertising can get challenging as everyone has different budgets and many want the same type of child and want to advertise in the same states. I will not put two of my clients in the same paper at the same time. I'm enjoying the creative parts the most, having just made a website for my clients-which they really like. I can do that kind of work any time of the day too! I guess I should feel blessed that after just a few weeks, I have clients and more signing on!