Tragedy in the Suburbs

Very early Monday morning (5AM), a tragedy occurred on a local highway that cost a 16 year old girl her life. Our local high school last two students in two days in two separate incidents. What bothers me about this car accident that cost an innocent girl her life is the details of how it played out.

Here is the local new article so you can read it for yourself:


Article

A 46 year old mother of four decided to go "clubbing" at a punk rock club that was closing with her 16 year old daugther and her daughters best friend. This was on a Sunday night. Hello-don't these girls have school. They were out partying all night and the mother was very drunk. They stopped at a diner to have breakfast and got back on the highway-but the mother got on the wrong ramp and drove for one mile going north in the Southbound lane. There was a head on collision. The driver of the other car had to be extricated and survived. The mother and her daughter were in the front seat of the van and survived as they had seatbelts and airbags. The daugther's friend died instantly-she had no seatbelt on.

The mother and daugther were transported to the hospital and are being treated for injuries. The mother was given a breathlizer test which she failed and was notably about the .08 limit in NY. She has already been arraigned and faces a slew of charges. The town is in an uproar. This mother was a stay at home mom who was well liked in the community. Why did she get in the car drunk? Why were they all out all night? There are a million questions.

The fact is lives are shattered. The girl killed was best friends with the girl that survived. They were like family. The deceased girl went on vacation with them, slept over, ate over, etc. I know the mother loved that girl too.

What disturbs me as a parent is how you grow to trust a parent and the trust is lost in a split second. I went to the Mom's myspace site (which is now private) and the entire page distrurbed me. Punk rock music and videos player, all her "friends" were teenagers and pictures showed her with alcohol around her and out with teenagers. She is supposed to be a parent, not a friend to the kids. They trusted her and she let them down by making a horrible decision to get behind the wheel that night. She acted like a kid-even admitting on myspace that she was going back to her punk days.

I am so naive, I think all suburban moms are normal, driving a minivan, and helping out in the community. I never would think they were drinking and driving kids around and not parenting their children. It makes me think, when my daughter gets older, how well will I have to get to know the friend and her parents before I can trust that Mom to drive my daughter to the movies???

My innocence is now lost. I was so ready to trust Moms I felt comfortable with. I live in one of the most expensive and exclusive counties in the United States. If it could happen here, it can happen anyhere.

Lessons learned:

1) When you are back seat passenger ALWAYS wear your seat belt (I have since Princess Diana died)

2)Parents-make every effort to get to know your kids friends and their parents. What you see on the surface may not be the reality.

This could have been avoided. Now lives are destroyed and a community up in arms. One bad decision will live with them forever. The victim was an only child!
All I can do is pray for everyone involved-that there will be forgiveness and healing.