I have to admit the last few weeks, one of the few things that makes me happy is researching adoption, both international and domestic. If we go that route (we will be deciding around the holidays) I am still not sure which way to go.
I spoke to an old friend at length who adopted a boy last year from Texas and had a biological son. Somehow I think domestic adoption may take longer. I am afraid birthmothers would not want to pick us because we already have a daughter. In her case, this birthmother wanted her child to have a sibling and her older son was one of the reasons they picked them as the adoptive family. That was reassuring. I have to admit I am afraid of the disappointments domestic adoption may hold. I also have read many many birthmother comments and read of the anguish, guilt and sorrow that followed for the rest of their life. As a mother, I understand where they are coming from, I could not say that before Jacqueline.
I love the idea of adopting from the Ukraine. I would love a toddler to bridge the age gap between my daughter and the newest member of our family. International travel would be difficult and we would have to leave our daughter with relatives for weeks. I would miss her. I see the photolistings and just melt though. I also would consider Russia, but for some reason, it's the Ukraine that catches my eye! These kids are in a an orphanage in need of a home. I don't have to come face to face with a birthmother or worry if the adoption is going to fall apart.
It's more of a sure thing with less variables.
I guess I am jumping the gun, but it gives me hope to start looking into it. I am so afraid to be pregnant again, it is almost incredible. Anyone with multiple miscarriages is nodding their head right now. You have to be in someone's shoes to understand.
One way or another I will be a mommy to one more child, I just keeping thinking that in the back of my head.
3 comments:
Thanks for visiting our blog. We were 18 months into (the wait) process with Russia, waiting to be placed in a region when we received our call about our little guy.
Due to the re-accredidation mess, we made a decision to go to Ukraine last Christmas and right before everything was switched, we found out that they were going to start Russian-like adoption changes and the wait would be horrible, so we stayed with Russian, but never went :)
Do lots of research (I'm sure you are). I will follow your journey. All the best.
My husband and I are currently in the waiting period of a domestic adoption. If your family chooses domestic,your friend is right. It's not a lost cause, a birth mother may want her baby to have siblings. We debated for a long time about domestic vs. international adoption. We eventually chosed domestic adoption because we have male infertily issues and I have a number of health issues. I wanted a newborn because I already felt like I was missing out on being pregnant and I disn't want to "miss" anything else. Good luck!
My husband and I are currently in the waiting period of a domestic adoption. If your family chooses domestic,your friend is right. It's not a lost cause, a birth mother may want her baby to have siblings. We debated for a long time about domestic vs. international adoption. We eventually chosed domestic adoption because we have male infertily issues and I have a number of health issues. I wanted a newborn because I already felt like I was missing out on being pregnant and I disn't want to "miss" anything else. Good luck!
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