Tuesday, August 15, 2006

What NOT to say to a woman that has had a miscarriage

Here's what you SHOULD NOT SAY:

*Be glad it happened early in the pregnancy and not later on
*It wasn't really a baby yet
*At least you can get pregnant
*You'll get pregnant again
*Be glad you miscarried, you would have had a deformed/sick child
*You can always try again
*It was God's will
*It wasn't meant to be
*Did you do something to cause the miscarriage?
*In time you will forget
*At least you have Jacqueline
*My friend XXXXXXX had 6 miscarriages
*Maybe you should give up trying and be happy with your daughter
*How do you feel now?
*Did you give him/her a name?

Here's what you should say:

*I'm so sorry
*I will keep you in my thoughts

I know most people don't know how to react or what to say when they heard the news. Just keep it simple and don't ask stupid questions or say stupid things. Even family and close friends, have managed to make one or more of the above comments. Sorry to say it but only women who have had one miscarriage can understand what I am saying. We know you mean well but sometimes keeping it simple and sharing a hug means so much more than misguided advice.

1 comment:

the path less traveled said...

Hi,


I just happened on your page and wanted to wish you many prayers and blessings. I have lost 12 children to early term miscarriage. Just as was going to give up, God has blessed me. I hope he will bless you too.

Peace